﻿1
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,804
<i>[ Shouting Questions ] [
Woman ] Here he comes!</i>

2
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,848
<i>Mr. Claringtonl
Mr. Claringtoni</i>

3
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,888
<i>What do you have to say
about the steroid allegations?</i>

4
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,530
<i>I look fon/vard
to my day in court.</i>

5
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,045
<i>Until then, I have no comment.</i>

6
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:15,600
<i>But what about the report
that you look way too old...</i>

7
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,205
<i>to still be in high school?</i>

8
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,045
<i>- [ Clamoring ]
- What is your problem?</i>

9
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,851
A blood test administered by the
Show Choir Governing Board...

10
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,248
tested positive
for performance-enhancing drugs,

11
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,051
stripping Dalton Academy
of their sectionals title...

12
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,442
and sending Lima's own McKinley High
School Show Choir to regionals...

13
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:36,525
and a chance to repeat
as national champions.

14
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:40,611
I can't believe it. This is
what they think news is now?

15
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,490
- Andrea.
- I can't take this anymore.

16
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,643
I cannot... take this...
anymore!

17
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,200
I have had it!
I've had enough!

18
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,601
I went to school for <i>this?</i>

19
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,570
[ Laughing, Sobbing ]

20
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,531
Well, it looks like someone's getting
a younger, hotter co-anchor.

21
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,400
After the break, a Fort Wayne
squirrel who's also... a doctor?

22
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,050
We'll be right back.

23
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,885
[Cheering ]

24
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,650
All right, people, we are back!

25
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,082
First of all, big props
to Sam and Blaine...

26
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,322
for all their hard work
to make this happen.

27
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,164
But... there's no time
to celebrate.

28
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,561
We just lost three weeks of
prep time for regionals,

29
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,085
and we still have to raise $400...

30
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,288
to pay for the bus to get to
the competition in Indianapolis.

31
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,850
It's the Paris of Indiana.

32
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,763
I propose a bake sale.

33
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,729
I mean, it worked last time.

34
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,768
Well, that's because Puck spiked
the cupcakes with Mary Jane.

35
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,842
I'd cut off my hair
to sell it for extra cash.

36
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,764
To who? Jamaican kids
with Rastafarian cancer?

37
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,763
Or as rigging
on a haunted pirate ship?

38
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,330
I could sell more of my semen.

39
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,165
This is silly. I know exactly
how we're gonna get the money-

40
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,488
The Men of McKinley calendar.

41
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,643
Let's face it. This is the cutest
crop of Glee boys we've ever had.

42
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,610
That's great. And it's January, so
it's the perfect time to sell them.

43
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,967
There are six guys, so each
one can take two months.

44
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,008
I think Blaine should
definitely be December.

45
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,846
You can do a Santa thing,
but sexy. Sexy Claus.

46
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,605
[ As Matthew McConaughey ] I'm in
as long as I can take my shirt off.

47
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,330
Wait, why does it have
to be just the men?

48
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,930
Why can't we objectify
the girls too?

49
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,161
Girls are the ones
that buy stuff.

50
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,242
We're responsible
for the consumer-driven economy.

51
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,805
<i>Those Twilight books
are poop on paper,</i>

52
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,803
and we've turned them
into a billion-dollar industry.

53
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,008
Team Jacob.

54
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,844
This could actually work.

55
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:23,844
Tina, you're in charge.
You can set up the photo shoots.

56
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:26,605
Everybody else, pick your months
and work on your concepts.

57
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,569
- [ Students Clapping ] -
[ Girl ] Good job, Tina!

58
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,721
Hey, what are you doing
after school today? Um-

59
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,604
<i>-4';</i> [ <i>Dance</i> Pop ] - <i>[ I/I/omanj
♪ Fondue For Tw0./ He y_/ _/~</i>

60
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,126
<i>♪ Fondue For Two
That's some hot dish ♪</i>

61
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,168
<i>♪ Fondue For Two ♪♪</i>

62
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,004
<i>Welcome</i> back <i>to Fondue For Two.</i>

63
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,208
You may know tonight's guest
only as the girl...

64
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,886
with the fat mom who ruined
Sectionals for everybody.

65
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,770
Please give it up for McKinley's
very own Marley Rose.

66
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,285
[ Purring ]
[ Brittany claps ]

67
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,011
So, Marley, is it true
that you spent six hours...

68
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,163
<i>- waiting in line to see The Hunger Games ?
-</i> I love <i>those books.</i>

69
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,248
<i>So</i> do <i>you think that you relate</i>
to <i>The Hunger Games...</i>

70
00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,526
because you yourself
are hungry?

71
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,887
<i>[Xylophone Flourish]</i>

72
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,644
[ Cat Meows ]

73
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,803
When I was growing up, my mom
said that I was a pet psychic.

74
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,291
That's cool.

75
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,089
So tell me what Lord Tubbington
is thinking right now.

76
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,640
- Yeah.
- [ Growls ]

77
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,370
Think he wants
to lose some weight,

78
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,204
and he has an online
gambling addiction.

79
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,611
[ Imitates Buzzer]
Wrong.

80
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,250
If you would've told me
that Lord Tubbington...

81
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,243
was secretly a slumlord,
I would've believed you.

82
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,209
None of your high-rises
are up to code.

83
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,282
Those families are living in
squalor, and they deserve better.

84
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,283
Aaah! Oh!
This is boiling hot!

85
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,761
- Let's talk about boys.
- [ Gasps ]

86
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,650
Please admit to my viewing audience
that you are in love with Jake.

87
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,444
[ Singsongy]
Ithoughtso.

88
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,921
If Jake is brave enough
to take off his clothes...

89
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,445
for Glee's
Men of McKinley calendar,

90
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,363
don't you think you owe him
the same courtesy?

91
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,488
You mean,
take off my clothes?

92
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,848
No. I meant that you should be
honest and vulnerable,

93
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,843
and tell him
exactly how you feel.

94
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,802
[School Bell Rings]
Sexy teen imbeciles.

95
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,561
The S.A.T. scores are in, and
you have managed to receive...

96
00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,804
the highest and lowest scores
ever recorded at McKinley!

97
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,531
Yes! I knew it.
Secret genius.

98
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,610
Brittany S. Pierce has received...

99
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,411
a near-perfect 2340
on her exam.

100
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,568
- Wait, what? How?
- Clearly, she cheated!

101
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,369
No, I did not cheat. I swear.

102
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,369
All I did was, I filled in “A” for a while...

103
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,930
and then “C” for a little bit...

104
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,650
and then “D” and then
I did “A” again.

105
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,326
Then I used the dots to draw
a clown and then a penis.

106
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,528
Wait. [ Sighs ] What
were my scores?

107
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,285
You got a 340,
which in clinical trials...

108
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,330
is a score routinely
bested by monkeys.

109
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,407
Sam, don't worry.

110
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,165
Okay, you don't need to go to
college like the rest of us.

111
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,730
You have
a really great body.

112
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,285
You could be
a personal trainer.

113
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,249
You could be a greeter
at Abercrombie.

114
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,482
You could be a greeter at
Abercrombie's corporate headquarters.

115
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,131
Whatever you want to do. But
meanwhile, my future looks bright.

116
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,170
I'm gonna graduate. I'll go
to Harvard or “Princetown”...

117
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,561
or “MITT”
or “Stanford and Son”...

118
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,291
or the “University of California
at Charles Barkley's House,”

119
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,691
'cause evidently,

120
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,366
I'm one of the smartest
people in America.

121
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,568
[ Footsteps Approaching ]

122
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,486
Your audition was great. I don't
need to hear you read it again.

123
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,770
Look, this film
is my senior thesis,

124
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,047
and I'd like you
to be a part of it.

125
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,806
- Any questions? - Your script,
Electra- It's so raw and personal.

126
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,410
I just was wondering, um-

127
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,926
<i>Come Back to Me, Grandmother:
A Journey into AIzheimer's-</i>

128
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,651
Is that you
and- and your grandmother?

129
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,242
The grandmother slipping
into dementia is...

130
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:29,924
an allegory-

131
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,281
Of course. Yeah. obviously,
of the end of the world.

132
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,840
You would be playing
both me and,

133
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,524
in the black-and-white
flashbacks,

134
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,204
my grandmother.

135
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,725
<i>Okay -</i>

136
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,723
If you're willing to go
on this adventure with me.

137
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,371
<i>L-</i> I would be honored.
I would.

138
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,851
Great. There is one thing.

139
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,720
You will have to be topless in
the ballroom scene with Titus.

140
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,689
It's not going
to be a problem, is it?

141
00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,123
I'm a strong
and confident woman.

142
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,168
I'm the one who asked Brody
to move in.

143
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,005
I'm the one who almost made it out of
Agent Provocateur without giggling.

144
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,845
And let's face it,
my breasts are my prizewinners.

145
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,763
You almost made it out,
but you didn't.

146
00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:12,241
Let's face it. You're also
the girl who makes Brody...

147
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,845
turn the lights off
when you're cuddling.

148
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,809
You have a beautiful body,
but are you really ready...

149
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,644
to expose yourself to the world?

150
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,769
That's what all great artists do.
They expose themselves.

151
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,448
Expose their souls,
not their flesh.

152
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,409
But it's all part
of the same package.

153
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,164
A-Am I really expected
to be able...

154
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,686
to bare my soul if I'm ashamed
of the body that holds it?

155
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,808
I think a little shame
is a good thing.

156
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,405
You're not a porn star,

157
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,005
even though your hair
and your makeup...

158
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,645
makes you look like one.
[ Gasps ] That's mean.

159
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,087
I'm sorry, but your hair has
gotten a little out of hand.

160
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,241
Point taken.

161
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,004
I guess there's only one
way to resolve this.

162
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,923
Sing about it. Thank God.

163
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,923
Hit it.

164
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,731
♪♪ [ Mid-tempo Pop]

165
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:03,004
♪ I thought I saw a man
brought to life ♪

166
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,050
♪ He was warm
He came around ♪

167
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,930
♪ Like he was dignified ♪

168
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,288
♪ He showed me
what it was to cry ♪

169
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,769
♪ Well, you couldn't be
the man I adored ♪

170
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,763
♪ You don't seem to know;

171
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,410
♪ Seem to care ♪

172
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,528
♪ What your heart is for;

173
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,524
♪ Oh, I don't
know him anymore ♪

174
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,444
♪ There's nothing where
he used to lie ♪

175
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,524
♪ The conversation has run dry;

176
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:35,206
♪ And that's what's going on ♪

177
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,726
♪ Nothing's fine
I'm torn ♪

178
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,201
[Together]
♪ I'm all out of faith ♪

179
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,726
♪ This is how I feel ♪

180
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:47,567
♪ I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor;

181
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:52,567
♪ Illusion never changed
into something real ♪

182
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:57,680
♪ I'm wide awake, and I can see
the perfect sky is torn ♪

183
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,206
♪ You're a little late ♪

184
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:04,080
♪ I'm already torn ♪

185
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,803
♪ So I guess
the fortune-teller's right ♪

186
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,961
♪ I should have seen
just what was there ♪

187
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,611
♪ And not some holy light;

188
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,570
♪ But you crawled
beneath my veins and now;

189
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,246
♪ I don't care
I have no luck;

190
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,244
♪ I don't miss it
all that much ♪

191
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,840
♪ There's just
so many things ♪

192
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,651
[ Together] ♪ That I
can't touch I'm torn ♪

193
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,366
♪ I'm all out of faith ♪
♪ I'm all out of faith ♪

194
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,408
♪ This is how I feel ♪

195
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,682
♪ How I feel ♪
♪ I'm cold and I'm ashamed ♪

196
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,764
[ Together] ♪ Bound and
broken on the floor;

197
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,286
♪ You're a little late ♪

198
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:50,605
♪ I'm already torn ♪

199
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:55,846
♪ I'm torn ♪

200
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,969
♪♪ [ Both Vocalizing ]

201
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,482
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪

202
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,484
♪♪ [vocalizing Continues]

203
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,767
♪ I'm already torn ♪♪

204
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,808
Rachel, have you
made up your mind yet?

205
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,963
I need to know right away so we can
get you fitted for clown shoes...

206
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,327
for the “End of Times”
dream sequence.

207
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,925
<i>I'll</i> do <i>it.</i>

208
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,089
[School Bell Rings]

209
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,164
Hey, Blaine. Will you please go
to the mall with me after school?

210
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,009
I want to go clothes shopping.
Sure.

211
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,163
<i>- _/~_/~ [ Techno Pop ]
- Oh, sweet merciful</i> Lord.

212
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,521
<i>[ Man ]
♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>

213
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,483
<i>♪ Oh, Yeah ♪♪</i>

214
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,524
[Girl ] Nice! [Girls Giggling ]

215
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:56,681
Sam.

216
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,890
What are you doing?
It's January.

217
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,201
What do you mean? It's
hot out there, you know?

218
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:03,805
Sun's out. It's like
way above freezing.

219
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,724
Are you sure you're not
overcompensating a little?

220
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,485
- Overcompensating for what?
- Your S.A.T. scores.

221
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:12,086
We all heard that you tanked. But
don't worry. There are retests.

222
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,969
You know what, dude? Like, if
you choose to be jealous...

223
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,769
of my hard-core rockin' bod,
that's on you.

224
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,444
For the record,
Blaine has an awesome body...

225
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,204
and a perky
and delicious behind...

226
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,170
that looks like it got baked to
perfection by some sort of master chef.

227
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,690
Thanks, Tina.

228
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,967
Sam, I'm just looking out for you.
I'm trying to be your friend.

229
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,850
Then put down the “Hatorade” and
come to my seminar this afternoon.

230
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,281
Your seminar? Yeah. For the
Men of McKinley calendar.

231
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,641
It's a one-hour course
entitled “Modern Centerfold:

232
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,688
Techniques that Work for
Today's Hot Young Posers.”

233
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,207
3:30. Locker room.
No chicks.

234
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,644
<i>♪ ./' [ Ends ]</i>

235
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,404
Downward dog.

236
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,689
Into the half pigeon.

237
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,246
[Sam Groans]

238
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,368
Feel it in the buttocks
right there.

239
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,011
And now back
into the lotus position.

240
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,491
Relax.
[ Exhales]

241
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,403
Why are we doing this again?

242
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,084
It's “bro-ga”- yoga for bros.

243
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,562
All about getting in the best
possible shape for the calendar.

244
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,246
Well, not everyone in here
looks like they're on the CW.

245
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,290
Some of us are more... PBS.

246
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:15,847
- Does the calendar really need to
be shirtless? - 'Fraid so, dude.

247
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,082
But don't sweat it, 'cause in no
time, we'll all be centerfold-ready,

248
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,764
thanks to White Chocolate's
strip tips.

249
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,649
Rule number one,
manscape, all right?

250
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,449
Nobody wants to see
those rando nipple pubes,

251
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,921
or even worse, a back
that looks like Chewbacca's ass.

252
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,764
No offense, Joe.
Shave it off!

253
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,842
And who says
you can't pack a little extra?

254
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,491
I like baby socks. Now, just
make sure the sock is clean...

255
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,040
so you don't get any
athlete's foot on yourjunk.

256
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,804
Now let's get
this party started.

257
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,928
- Uh!
- ♪ Want a little bit of ♪

258
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,207
- ♪ And a little bit of ♪
- ♪ Uh, uh;

259
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,726
-_l~ Just a little bit of ♪
-,1' Uh, uh;

260
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,444
♪ Just a little bit of ♪
♪ Uh, uh;

261
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,524
♪ I was like, good gracious,
ass is bodacious ♪

262
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,250
♪ Flirtatious,
trying to show patience ♪

263
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,800
♪ Just waiting for the right time
to shoot my steez, you know;

264
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,008
♪ Looking for the right time
to flash them G's ♪

265
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,048
♪ Then I'm leaving
Please believing ♪

266
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,963
♪ Me and the rest
of my heathens ♪

267
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,646
♪ Check it, got it locked at
the top of the F0' Seasons ♪

268
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,961
♪ Penthouse, rooftop,
birds I feeding ♪

269
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,963
♪ Years go by
I'm lookin' through ♪

270
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,690
♪ A girly magazine ♪

271
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,569
♪ And there's
my homeroom angel ♪

272
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,847
♪ On the pages in between ♪

273
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,164
<i>- ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪
- ♪ So hot ♪</i>

274
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,242
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪

275
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,209
♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪

276
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,123
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
- ♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪

277
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,527
♪ Oh ♪
♪ It's getting hot in here ♪

278
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,443
- ♪ So hot ♪ - ♪ So take
off all your clothes ♪

279
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,921
♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪

280
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,924
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
- ♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪

281
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,286
-_l~ Just a little bit of ♪
-,1' Uh, uh;

282
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,805
- ♪ With a little bit of ♪
- ♪ Uh, uh;

283
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,211
♪ And then they just fall ♪

284
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,009
♪ Why you at the bar if
you ain't popping the box? ♪

285
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,923
♪ What good is all the fame if
you ain't bumping the models? ♪

286
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,570
'.L' I See you driving ♪
-.1' Sports cars ♪

287
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,369
♪ Ain't hittin' the throttle
<i>I'll</i> be down to do a hundred ♪

288
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,010
♪ 'Cause, baby,
I can't talk it ♪

289
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,969
♪ Warm and fuzzy sweaters ♪

290
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,168
♪ Too magical to touch ♪

291
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:52,006
♪ To see her in that negligee
is really just too much ♪

292
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,003
♪ It's getting hot in here ♪

293
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,082
<i>♪ So hot,» ♪ So take
off all your clothes ♪</i>

294
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,889
<i>J HGYJ
♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪</i>

295
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,281
<i>♪ Hey. hey. hey. hey»
♪ Angel is the centerfold ♪</i>

296
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,601
- ♪ Stop- It's a little
bit of; - ♪ Uh, uh ♪

297
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,051
<i>♪ And a sprinkle of that ♪
♪ Uh, uh ♪</i>

298
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,531
♪ Nelly just fall out ♪

299
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,125
-3 I like it when you ♪
C♪ Uh, uh;

300
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,611
<i>♪ Girl,</i> baby, <i>make it;
♪ Uh,</i> uh <i>♪</i>

301
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,966
<i>♪ Let it hang all out;</i>

302
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,644
<i>♪ It's getting hot in here ♪</i>

303
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,007
<i>♪ So take off all your clothes ♪</i>

304
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,844
-; I am getting so hot;
-3 Na, na, na-na, na-na;

305
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,531
♪ I wanna take my clothes off;
♪ Na, na, na-na-na, na-na;

306
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,046
-_l~ It's getting hot in here ♪
- ,/' 80 hot,»

307
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:23,804
<i>♪ So take off
all your clothes ♪</i>

308
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,769
<i>-;</i> I am <i>getting so hot;
- _/~ Na, na, na -na, na -na ♪</i>

309
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,047
- ♪ I wanna take my clothes off;
-3 Na, na, na-na-na, na-na;

310
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,606
<i>♪ Oh! ♪
♪ It's getting hot in here ♪♪</i>

311
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:31,647
[Applause And Cheering ]

312
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:32,801
[ Artie ] Yes! [ Boy ] what?

313
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,123
You guys-
You guys, that was amazing.

314
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,961
We are going to make so much money.
Yeah! [ Students Cheering ]

315
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,889
[ School Bell Rings ] [ Girl ] Yeah.
That was really good.

316
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,370
Okay.
[ Sighs ]

317
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,402
- Here goes.
- Well, well, well.

318
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,689
If it isn't the underage,
smut-peddling, non-teacher Finn Hudson.

319
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,247
Not satisfied with making a mockery
of the American education system...

320
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,129
by your mere presence
at this school,

321
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,726
you have besmirched the dignity
of such everyday heroes...

322
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,689
as this woman
with Crohn's disease-

323
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,489
whose name I do not know-

324
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:11,282
by bringing the dark specter of
pornography to these hallowed halls.

325
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,842
Well, Crohnsey and I are here to
tell you, this will not stand.

326
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,208
Sue Sylvester,
you can suck a hot one,

327
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,282
because you are a hypocrite.

328
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,248
I beg your pardon?

329
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:28,609
I seem to recall a rumor about a certain
cheerleading coach at this school...

330
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,529
who once took
horse estrogen...

331
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,290
and posed for Penthouse
back in the day.

332
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,044
So maybe I can just
track that down,

333
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,010
make a few copies and sell those
to raise money for regionals.

334
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,289
That's nothing
but a rumor.

335
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,210
But if that rumor were true,
my Penthouse centerfold,

336
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,841
so groundbreaking that it completely
redefined the term “hirsute”...

337
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,571
and gave birth unto these
United States a pose so limber,

338
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:54,248
they named it “The Regal American
Not-So-Bald Spread Eagle,”

339
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:58,405
I promise you, my friend,
you would never find it.

340
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,768
Well, I guess
we'll see about that.

341
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,365
[ Chuckles ]

342
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,442
[School Bell Rings]

343
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,762
[ Exhales, Sniffs]

344
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,847
Good morning.

345
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,285
He)'-

346
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,767
What?
Your boyfriend's bare ass...

347
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,002
is on one of my vintage
flea market chairs.

348
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,885
Hey, I'm not ashamed of my body,
and I wanted to show Rachel...

349
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,361
that I support her choice
completely.

350
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,283
Thank you. I was cast
in a student art film,

351
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,249
and I'm gonna be doing
a topless scene in it.

352
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,482
- No, you're not.
- Rachel looks smokin'.

353
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,689
Rachel is a serious actress, Brody.
She doesn't do nudity.

354
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,962
Look, as performers,
that's a question...

355
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,690
that we're all
gonna have to face.

356
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,250
If you want
to win an Oscar,

357
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,004
you have to show your boobs.

358
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,926
Kate Winslet, Jennifer
Connelly, Kathy Bates-

359
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,650
I don't get it.

360
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:05,122
A year ago, you were all plaid skirts
and “Do you think Finn likes me?”

361
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,804
And now you're Slutty Barbie,

362
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,008
asking Misogynist Ken to move
in with you, doing pornos.

363
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,801
- What's happening to you? - I'm growing
up, Kurt. Maybe you should try it too.

364
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,962
And it's not a porno.
It's a good movie.

365
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,886
I'm gonna do it- with
or without yoursuppofl.

366
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,410
[ Door Slides Open ]

367
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,126
[School Bell Rings]

368
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,010
When I get a text saying, “Emergency.
Meet me in the auditorium,”

369
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,402
I assume that you're on fire, or
being attacked by a pack of monkeys.

370
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:35,008
I was, but the monkeys had squirt
guns, and they put the fire out.

371
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,168
Thatsoundedfunnmw in my head.
[Laughs]

372
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,890
Uh, seriously,
I- I wanted...

373
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,328
to start working on some song
ideas I had for regionals.

374
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,482
I kind of have
some redeeming to do.

375
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,642
No, you don't. Everyone
is cool with you now.

376
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,683
No, they aren't.
Okay, they're not.

377
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,001
But don't put too much
pressure on yourself.

378
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,730
That's how things got
messed up last time.

379
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,610
I think I have the perfect song
for us to sing.

380
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,763
I like this tune.
It's super romantic.

381
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,444
Is it?

382
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,322
♪♪ [ Rock Ballad ]

383
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:10,007
♪ The day we met;

384
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:15,849
♪ Frozen, I held my breath ♪

385
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,002
♪ Right from the start ♪

386
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:23,120
♪ I knew that I'd found
the home for my heart ♪

387
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,127
<i>♪</i> To <i>fall ♪</i>

388
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:31,206
♪ But watching you stand alone ♪

389
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,891
♪ All of my doubt;

390
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:40,206
♪ Suddenly goes away somehow ♪

391
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:48,483
[Together]
♪ One step closer;

392
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:53,441
♪ I have died every day
waiting for you ♪

393
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,251
♪ Darling, don't be afraid ♪

394
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,084
♪ I have loved you ♪

395
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:02,290
♪ For a thousand years ♪

396
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:08,720
♪ <i>I'll</i> love you
for a thousand more ♪

397
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:18,006
♪ Time stands still ♪

398
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:23,291
♪ Beauty in all she is ♪

399
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,681
[ Together]
.1' Every breath ♪

400
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:32,041
♪ Every hour has come to this ♪

401
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:39,891
♪ One step closer;

402
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:44,966
♪ I have died every day
waiting for you ♪

403
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,520
♪ Darling, don't be afraid ♪

404
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,841
♪ I have loved you ♪

405
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,925
♪ For a thousand years ♪

406
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:59,962
♪ <i>I'll</i> love you
for a thousand more ♪

407
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:05,524
♪ And all along I believed
I would find you ♪

408
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,285
♪ Time has brought
your heart to me ♪

409
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:14,720
♪ I have loved you
for a thousand years ♪

410
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:21,530
♪ <i>I'll</i> love you
for a thousand more ♪

411
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,289
♪ I will love you ♪

412
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:35,086
♪ A thousand years ♪

413
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:40,802
♪ Mm-mmm, mmm ♪♪

414
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,085
What?

415
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,164
There's something you want to tell me.
I can tell.

416
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,287
L\

417
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,765
I love...

418
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,045
the song.

419
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,249
I love this song, but it's
not right for regionals.

420
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,962
[School Bell Rings]

421
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,363
What's goin' on?

422
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,687
Sue Sylvester's coming down
super hard on the calendar.

423
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,250
She's saying
it's pornography.

424
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,209
Wait. Isn't she the one
that posed for <i>Playboy?</i>

425
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,442
Pen!/70¢/se- And I need
you to track it down.

426
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,329
Hold up.

427
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,243
You want me
to spend the next few days...

428
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:46,769
carefully paging through decades and
decades of vintage pornography?

429
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,401
- You've come to the right place. - Thank
you, and the Men of McKinley thank you.

430
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,289
Finn, about that.

431
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,601
I'm not sure I want to pose
for the calendar.

432
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,446
My body is sort of...
broken,

433
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,841
and I'm not really eager
to start showing it off.

434
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,491
Okay. Well, uh,

435
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,530
we'll get you in some sweats
and a kick-ass muscle shirt.

436
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,171
Look, I really want to help out,
but I just think a photo of me...

437
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,363
is gonna end up being a photo of my chair.
Then forget the chair.

438
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,124
You can lay on a bed
or something...

439
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,202
and pose with, like,
a bunch of sexy pillows.

440
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,089
Finn, you're not hearing me.

441
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,083
I don't want to pose
for the calendar.

442
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,846
And that whole pillow scenario you just
described sounds deeply emasculating.

443
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,810
It's not just girls
who have body issues.

444
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,804
Sometimes guys aren't cool with
showing off their bodies either.

445
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,803
Then don't.

446
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,565
L-I don't want to make you do anything
you don't feel comfortable doing.

447
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,642
Thanks for telling me.

448
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,451
And you know what?

449
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,091
That was really brave of
you, saying no just then.

450
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,483
And I think
it's totally cool...

451
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,166
that there's a part of yourself
you want to keep private.

452
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,368
[School Bell Rings]

453
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,283
I'm thinking about
naming my shoulders.

454
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,089
You know, like The Situation
has his abs?

455
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,650
That could be
my signature thing.

456
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,802
One could be Smith
and the other could be Wesson.

457
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,571
You name arms after guns,
not shoulders.

458
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,842
- Shoulders are part of your arms.
- No, they're part of your shoulders.

459
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,490
And don't pick a signature
when you know...

460
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,767
that my John Hancocks are
clearly better than yours.

461
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,810
- No, they're not.
- Do I need to humiliate you right now?

462
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:11,166
Bring it.

463
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,801
<i>- _/'_/' [ Techno Pop Intro ]
- A'ig ht.</i>

464
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,451
-,/~ Oh, yeah,»
- [ Exhales ]

465
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:18,806
- They're on fire.
- J 0/7, /93/7JJ

466
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,325
I am a statue.

467
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,807
There's our money-makers.

468
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,848
This is the boys' locker room.
You can't be in here.

469
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,048
We couldn't help ourselves.
Your chick magnets drew us in.

470
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,964
I wanted to talk to you about
the concepts for your pictures.

471
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:34,409
Ryder, you're February and July. I was thinking
heart boxers and a sexy Uncle Sam thing.

472
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,006
You're going to be June and October.
June is a beach theme.

473
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,924
And for October, you're just gonna
be holding a “Jake-o'-lantern”...

474
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,525
over your naughty bits.

475
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,649
We're gonna go find Artie and tell
him about his March sexy leprechaun.

476
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,241
I thought Kitty was gonna
jump you right in here.

477
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,283
Mmm? Dude, you want to
know the weirdest thing?

478
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:55,170
If a girl in the next room
is into me, I can feel it.

479
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,362
[ Chuckles ] But since
I've been seeing Marley,

480
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,721
it's like there's
not another girl on the planet.

481
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,245
Wow. That is hard-core.

482
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,687
I'm sorry. I try not to
talk about her with you.

483
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,286
It stings sometimes,
but this is serious.

484
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:08,885
All right?
You're really into her.

485
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,406
Then the other day we were singing
this, like, romantic song together,

486
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:16,566
and then, right at the end, I thought
that she was gonna say it to me.

487
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:17,926
Say what?

488
00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:21,770
Oh! Oh.

489
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,081
It.

490
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,605
[ Stammers ]
What would you have done?

491
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,569
I would have said it back.

492
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,483
I mean,
that's the way I feel.

493
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,241
Then you have to tell her first.
N- I can't do that.

494
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,288
That's... terrifying.

495
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:38,443
Chicks dig hot guys who are willing
to get naked for a calendar,

496
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,562
but what they're
really looking for...

497
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,768
is a guy who will
get naked emotionally.

498
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,842
<i>♪♪ [ Piano: Ballad Intro ]</i>

499
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,485
♪ Much as
you blame yourself ♪

500
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,562
♪ You can't be blamed ♪

501
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,611
♪ For the way that you feel ♪

502
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,448
♪ Had no example ♪

503
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,761
♪ Of a love that was ♪

504
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:09,363
♪ Even remotely real ♪

505
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,966
♪ How can you understand ♪

506
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:16,841
♪ Something
that you never had? ♪

507
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,285
<i>♪ If you let me ♪</i>

508
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,408
♪ I can help you out;

509
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,002
♪ With all of that;

510
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,408
♪ Let me love you ♪

511
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,051
♪ And I will love you ♪

512
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,963
♪ Until you learn ♪

513
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,611
♪ To love yourself ♪

514
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,409
♪ Let me love you ♪

515
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,926
♪ A heart of numbness ♪

516
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,168
♪ Gets brought to life ♪

517
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,210
♪ <i>I'll</i> take you there ♪

518
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,128
♪ I can see the pain ♪

519
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,964
♪ Behind your eyes ♪

520
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:04,682
♪ It's been there
for quite a while ♪

521
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,764
♪ I just want to be the one ♪

522
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,524
♪ To remind you ♪

523
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:13,525
♪ What it is to smile ♪

524
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,080
♪ I would like to show you ♪

525
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,922
♪ What true love can really do ♪

526
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,441
♪ Let me love you ♪

527
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,329
♪ And I will love you ♪

528
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,767
♪ Until you learn ♪

529
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,326
♪ To love yourself ♪

530
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:31,606
♪ Let me love you ♪

531
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,126
♪ I know your trouble ♪

532
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,202
♪ Don't be afraid ♪

533
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:37,964
♪ Oh, I can help;

534
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,247
♪ Let me love you ♪

535
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,402
♪ A heart of numbness ♪

536
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,721
♪ Is brought to life ♪

537
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:52,321
♪ <i>I'll</i> take you there ♪

538
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,562
♪ Let me love you ♪

539
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,120
♪ I know your trouble ♪

540
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,885
♪ Don't be afraid ♪

541
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,049
♪ Oh, I can help ♪♪

542
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,442
[ Sighs ]

543
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:13,487
Whoo!

544
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,403
[ Finn ]
That was awesome, man.

545
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,130
Absolutely a contender
for regionals.

546
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,010
- Who was that song for?
- Uh, that was for Marley.

547
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,323
Is there anything else
you wanted to say to her?

548
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,880
Uh, I think the song
pretty much said it.

549
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,042
[Applause ]

550
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,881
Kurt, the hipster from downstairs
with the curlicue mustache...

551
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,566
wants to borrow
your Russian hat.

552
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,881
Oh, my God!
What are you doing here?

553
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,123
Lady Hummel called, begging us
to do an emergency intervention.

554
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,804
- On who?
- You.

555
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,089
You guys came all the way
to New York...

556
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:50,844
just to talk to me
because Kurt called you?

557
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,200
We're also here to shop.

558
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,044
[ Quinn ] And we're here
to apologize to Quinn...

559
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:56,805
for slapping her across
the face very, very hard.

560
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,962
In theory. We'll just
see if that happens.

561
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,122
Rachel,
you cannot do a nude scene.

562
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,766
It's not a nude scene. It's just
a topless scene. Same thing.

563
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,446
Topless is as nude as anyone
is ever gonna want to see you.

564
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,450
Let's say you do it. Think
about the two-two-two rule.

565
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,887
In two weeks, how are you gonna
feel about the nude scene?

566
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,843
You'll probably feel pretty great.
Yeah.

567
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,129
You'll get to feel a nice, cool
breeze on them skeeter bites.

568
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,602
- You'll feel refreshed even. - Then, how are
you gonna feel about it two months from now?

569
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:24,241
I don't know. Nervous? Worried
it may not even be good?

570
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,926
Rachel, it's a student film.
It's not gonna be good.

571
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,408
And two years from now? How are
you gonna feel aboutflthen?

572
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:34,121
Guilty. Just... hoping my kids
won't ever see it online.

573
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,009
Oh, they'll see it.
Mm-hmm.

574
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,287
And they will never
be the same.

575
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,966
Okay, wait. Why am- Why am I even
taking advice from you, okay?

576
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,771
- Didn't you have a sex tape that
leaked online? - Yes, I did.

577
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,366
A sex tape that follows me
around to this very day.

578
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,283
Look my name up
on the Internet right now.

579
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,244
“Santana Lopez, nude,
lez, boobies, sex tape,

580
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,448
Mexican or Dominican,”
question mark.

581
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,204
Booyah.
That will exist forever.

582
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,403
But, Santana, some women find it
empowering to be naked on film.

583
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,130
Yes, but not
in a student film...

584
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,561
that is probably about someone's
grandma with Alzheimer's.

585
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,246
Look. We care about you.

586
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:11,211
And for once, Rachel, we actually
have your best interests in mind.

587
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,770
Please don't do it.

588
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,642
<i>♪♪ [ Techno Pop]</i>

589
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,563
[ Shutter Clicking ]

590
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,410
[ Tina ]
Good.

591
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,084
Give me sexy liberty.

592
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:26,650
Give me sexy freedom.

593
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,451
Give me "I want you” sexy.

594
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,530
All right!
August is up next.

595
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,443
Artie, are you sure
you don't want to pose?

596
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,921
No, I'm happy posing with
this bounce-board over here.

597
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,526
Hey, why don't we do August
with a few of the guys?

598
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,125
Blaine, why don't you
jump in with Sam?

599
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,402
- You're looking particularly cute today.
- I'll do it too.

600
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,404
No offense, Joe, but I don't really think
you want to be in a shot next to me.

601
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,084
My washboards are
gonna make you look like...

602
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,447
- a bloated white Bob Marley.
- I'm as God made me, dude.

603
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,767
The reality is, we probably should
have just done a Sam Evans calendar.

604
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,764
Yes, and every month we could see you
dressed as a different brand ofjerkwad.

605
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,842
Guys, we waited too long.
I lost my pump.

606
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,524
- I need five minutes.
- What?

607
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,087
Just go. You got this.
You got this.

608
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,362
You're kind of out of control.
Yeah, well, haters gonna hate.

609
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,204
Will you please
stop lifting?

610
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,248
This isn't
who you are, Sam.

611
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,125
You're not just some body-obsessed muscle
head. You don't know what it's like.

612
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,248
You can sing and dance,
and you kick butt in school...

613
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:17,924
and you're all charming
and everything.

614
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,288
I have to announce my presence with
authority the second I walk into a room.

615
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,647
People have to notice me,
or else they never will.

616
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,644
People laugh at my impressions because
how I look already has them on board.

617
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,366
Do you really believe that?
It's just a fact.

618
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,965
If you want to make it in this
world, you have to be special.

619
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,371
And you are special.

620
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,609
Even without your body.

621
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,048
No, I'm not, man.
lt's- It's all I have.

622
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,724
I'm exhausted.

623
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,326
Watching what I eat all the
time, my two-a-day workouts-

624
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,051
Let it go. Have a burger
every now and then.

625
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,804
Eat a bag of Cheetos.

626
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,928
Skip your workouts.
Sleep in a little.

627
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,287
Your body isn't
gonna change.

628
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,842
And even if you have
seven percent body fat,

629
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:02,605
you're gonna see that all of
us are still gonna love you.

630
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,603
And we're gonna laugh
at your impressions.

631
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,409
[School Bell Rings]
♪♪ [Whistling ]

632
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,404
And what, may I ask, is this?

633
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,767
Turns out it wasn't too hard
to track down, after all.

634
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,729
Well.

635
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,768
I'm impressed.
I'm not gonna lie.

636
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:22,640
I thought I'd purchased
every last issue from eBay.

637
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,929
I'm not ashamed
of this centerfold.

638
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,331
In fact,

639
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:33,203
I feel like taking a gander at
that glorious taco right now.

640
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:34,805
You idiot.

641
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,723
You had me skewered.

642
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,643
Why on earth would you
let me open that?

643
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:40,290
Because now...

644
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,131
I have your confession
ontape.

645
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,521
<i>I'm not ashamed
of this centerfold.</i>

646
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,604
<i>- /n fa ct, I feel //ke faking a
gander az' ('ha 2'- - Checkmate.</i>

647
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,648
<i>glorious taco right now.</i>

648
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,522
[ Exhales]

649
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,807
[School Bell Rings]

650
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,769
Did you want to see me?
What are you doing here?

651
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,002
Blaine asked me to look
into something for you.

652
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,730
Come on in
and have a seat.

653
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,683
This is a very small sampling
of colleges...

654
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,724
that don't require S.A.T.
or A.C.T. scores.

655
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,370
And they're really
good schools, Sam.

656
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,124
They're schools that
recognize that a test score...

657
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,885
- isn't always the best measure of
your intelligence. - Or creativity.

658
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:19,248
You can always take the S.A.T.'s again
if you want. A lot of kids do that.

659
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,642
Yeah, well, let's say I somehow get into
college somewhere. I still can't afford it.

660
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,848
Yes, you can,
because even in this economy,

661
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,002
there are hundreds
of scholarships out there.

662
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,923
What you need for these
is a personal essay...

663
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,968
about yourself
and your accomplishments.

664
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:32,849
Like what?
Like my abs and my fish lips?

665
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,729
Like the Glee Club.
Like student council.

666
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,325
- Swimming-
- Synchronized swimming.

667
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,562
You've accomplished a lot more than
you're giving yourself credit for.

668
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,803
But why don't you take that home
and, um, just think about it?

669
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,246
<i>♪♪</i> [ <i>Piano]</i>

670
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,846
<i>[ Bird Squawking]</i>

671
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:53,922
[ Electra]
You are lost.

672
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:58,642
Is this real? You've been here before,
but... nothing looks familiar.

673
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:02,770
And that smell-
You recognize that smell.

674
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,049
And now, you see him-

675
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:07,690
Titus.

676
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,362
You want him.

677
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,807
And deep breath.

678
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,405
Drop the robe.

679
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,045
Rachel, drop the robe.

680
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,202
Cut. I'm sorry, can we-
Can we just cut?

681
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,442
Only I'm allowed to say cut.
Cut.

682
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,727
I'm sorry, I don't mean
to be a diva or anything,

683
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,690
but, um, there's just- there are
so many people here right now.

684
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:29,604
Do you think we can-
They're here for you.

685
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,206
My D.P. literally
sculpts with light.

686
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,170
Now, he can't do that
without his crew.

687
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,049
He's promised me
this would be sweeping.

688
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,647
Would you like me to tell him that
you don't want it to be sweeping?

689
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,441
I need all the crew to-
to take off their clothes.

690
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,922
Yeah, it'll help. It'll, um,
you know, just... distract...

691
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,571
and-and-and
take the attention off of me.

692
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,802
- Seriously?
- Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.

693
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,370
Everybody,
take your shirts off.

694
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,249
[ Man Whistles ]

695
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,368
<i>♪♪ [ Techno Pop]</i>

696
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,089
Okay, back to one.

697
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:09,281
Roll sound.

698
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,011
- [ Man ] Scene 10, take two.
- And action.

699
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:13,764
Okay, you're lost.

700
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,286
Are you awake?
Is this a dream?

701
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,285
Perhaps a life
lived long ago,

702
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,648
and now you see him-

703
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:24,926
Titus.

704
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,561
You're filled
with a carnal hunger.

705
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,281
You need
to be naked now.

706
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,806
And drop the robe.

707
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,204
Rachel, drop the robe!

708
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,248
- I'm sorry. Cut.
- Stop saying cut.

709
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,209
I'm sorry.
I can't do this.

710
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,011
I respect you,
and I respect your movie,

711
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,321
but I just.

712
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,922
I'm not ready. Then you should have
told me that when I asked you.

713
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,368
I was telling you the truth when I said
yes, and I'm telling you the truth now.

714
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,727
I think it's okay
for actresses to be naked,

715
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,043
and-and maybe someday
<i>I'll</i> be ready, but...

716
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,248
I just realized that...

717
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,567
I'm not ready
to be naked now.

718
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,881
Well, then
what you can do now...

719
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,088
is get the hell off
my grandmother's dreamscape.

720
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,723
- G; [ Piano: Mid-tempo Intro ]
- Take five, everyone.

721
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,643
Looks like / will have
to play Grandma.

722
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,647
♪ Head underwater;

723
00:34:21,720 --> 00:34:23,882
♪ And they tell me ♪

724
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:27,043
♪ To breathe easy for a while ♪

725
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,930
♪ Breathing gets harder;

726
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,642
♪ Even I know that;

727
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:36,489
♪ I made room for me ♪

728
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,404
♪ It's too soon to see ♪

729
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,484
♪ If I'm happy in your hands ♪

730
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,887
♪ I'm unusually;

731
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:48,646
♪ Hard to hold on to ♪

732
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:54,329
♪ Convinced me to please you ♪

733
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:58,325
♪ Made me think
that I need this too ♪

734
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,609
♪ I'm trying to let you ♪

735
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,445
♪ Hear me as I am;

736
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,602
♪ I'm not gonna write you
a love song ♪

737
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:08,808
♪ 'Cause you asked for it ♪

738
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,360
♪ 'Cause you need one,
you see ♪

739
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:15,081
♪ I'm not gonna write you
a love song ♪

740
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,403
♪ 'Cause you tell me
it's make or break in this ♪

741
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,847
♪ If you're on your way ♪

742
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,891
♪ I'm not gonna write you
to stay ♪

743
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,689
♪ If all you have is leaving ♪

744
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:30,242
♪ I'm-a need a better reason
to write you ♪

745
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:34,291
♪ A love song today;

746
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,051
♪ Promise me ♪

747
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:41,523
♪ That you'll leave
the light on ♪

748
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,967
♪ 'Cause I believe ♪

749
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:47,249
♪ There's a way
you can love me ♪

750
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:48,924
♪ Because I say ♪

751
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,441
♪ I won't write you
a love song ♪

752
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,966
♪ 'Cause you asked for it ♪

753
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,883
♪ 'Cause you need one ♪

754
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,487
♪ You see, I'm not gonna
write you a love song ♪

755
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:03,963
♪ 'Cause you tell me
it's make or break in this ♪

756
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:07,567
♪ Is that why you wanted
a love song? ♪

757
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,449
- 3 A love song 3
- 3 'Cause you tell me it's 3

758
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,324
♪ Make or break in this ♪

759
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,209
♪ If you're on your way ♪

760
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:17,086
♪ I'm not gonna write you ♪
♪ Write you to stay ♪

761
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,003
♪ If your heart
is nowhere in it;

762
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,731
♪ I don't want it
for a minute, babe ♪

763
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,609
- 3 <i>I'll</i> walk the seven seas 3
- 3 Walk the seven seas 3

764
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:27,571
- ♪ When I believe that there's a
reason to write you ♪ - ♪ Write you ♪

765
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,041
♪ A love song today;

766
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,202
♪ Tod3Y ♪

767
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,203
♪ Hey, t0daY ♪

768
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,328
♪ I won't write you
a love song ♪

769
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,164
♪ Yeah ♪

770
00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:39,480
♪ Tod3Y ♪

771
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,484
♪ I won't write you
a love song ♪

772
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,848
<i>♪ Today :4'</i>

773
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,844
[ Rachel Squeals]
Yay.

774
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,922
Thank you guys so much.

775
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,367
It's like my dads say- you
can't make new old friends.

776
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,324
- No regrets? - None. But do you have
to go? Can you stay a little longer?

777
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,329
- 'Cause I would love to buy you dinner.
- I'm in.

778
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,925
- Sure.
- Good, okay.

779
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,923
I'm in no rush
to get back to Kentucky.

780
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,686
I think I could get used to it here
in New York. It's more my speed.

781
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,683
[School Bell Rings]

782
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:12,282
'Youready to write that essay?
No, I'm not.

783
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,283
Well, I've been
doing a little research,

784
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,488
um, with some folks
that know you really well,

785
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,244
and they all seem
to think...

786
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,166
that you've actually
accomplished quite a bit.

787
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,050
<i>[ Tina ] Sam saved
sectionals last year...</i>

788
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,691
<i>when we were short a member
and he moved back to McKinley.</i>

789
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,683
<i>[ Artie ] He rescued
our nationals trophy.</i>

790
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:31,683
<i>[ Tina ] And then he saved
sectionals again this year...</i>

791
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,489
<i>when he found out
the Warblers cheated.</i>

792
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,530
<i>Trouty Mouth inspired me
to try my hand at songwriting.</i>

793
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,284
<i>Sam was the first person
in America...</i>

794
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,004
<i>to do a Sean Connery impression.</i>

795
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,766
<i>♪ Grouper Mouth ♪</i>

796
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,684
<i>His impression was what made Sean
Connery's career really take off.?</i>

797
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,444
<i>[ Santana ]
♪ Froggy Lips ♪</i>

798
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,568
<i>[ Mercedes ] Sam gave me the
courage to follow my dreams...</i>

799
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,130
<i>and become a singer.</i>

800
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,441
<i>And without him I probably
would have never moved to L.A.</i>

801
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,524
<i>And let's not forget when Sam
took care of his entire family...</i>

802
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,250
<i>after his dad lost his job.</i>

803
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,448
<i>They were living
in a motel, homeless,</i>

804
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,251
<i>and Sam supported them.</i>

805
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:05,810
<i>I mean, that's pretty amazing.</i>

806
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,441
<i>He's a really
substantial person.</i>

807
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:13,002
Now, that's...
your essay.

808
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,040
[ Sighs, Sniffles ]

809
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,248
[Voice Breaking ]
Thanks. Thanks, bro.

810
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,402
Don't mention it.

811
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,564
[School Bell Rings]
Hey, Artie.

812
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,961
Oh, I'm sorry, Do I need to take
my shirt off while addressing you?

813
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,681
Listen, the bottom line is that we have
two empty months in this calendar.

814
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,162
We want you to fill them. And I-I totally
understand wanting to keep your shirt on.

815
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,527
You want to be known for more
than just your massive biceps.

816
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:44,401
Look, it's hard enough being the only one
in a chair posing for this calendar.

817
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,484
I don't really want to be the
only one wearing clothes either.

818
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:48,721
You won't be.

819
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,404
<i>[ School Bell Rings ]</i>

820
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:54,041
[ Chattering, Laughing ]

821
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,045
[ Girl ]
Watch out!

822
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,929
[ Girl #2 ]
Hey, oh.

823
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,969
[ Chuckling ]

824
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,687
You have
such broad shoulders.

825
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,570
If you ever want to tap this,
seriously, just say the word.

826
00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:21,651
Thank you.

827
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:26,288
[ Sighs ] So, how much
smut money did you raise?

828
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:27,964
About 350 bucks.

829
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,520
Another 50 and we've covered
the bus to regionals.

830
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,046
Well, you're a worthy
adversary, Finn Hudson,

831
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,963
and that'll make you
all the more delicious...

832
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:38,840
when I've got you slowly
roasting on a spit.

833
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,127
But, like,
literally delicious.

834
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:46,442
Hey, you don't have
to wait in line.

835
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,007
I actually already made one out for you.
Thank you.

836
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,045
I love you back.

837
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,244
Ugh! Gross!

838
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,846
Get a room!

839
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:13,687
Please make it out to “My
future wife, Becky Jackson.”

840
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,728
I wish
you'd lose the shirt...

841
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,280
so I can drool
over that hot bod.

842
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,523
Well, listen, I think you
both are hot, topless or not.

843
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,762
And do you know how I know?
'Cause I'm a genius.

844
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,922
You know what? I'm really
excited about this new year.

845
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,651
- [ Gasps ] - Me too. It's
a new year and a new me.

846
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:34,165
' <i>J'./' I UP-fempo Pop ]
- ♪♪ [vocalizing</i> ]

847
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,887
♪ Another year
you made a promise ♪

848
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:44,648
♪ Another chance
to turn it all around ♪

849
00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:48,202
♪ And do not save this
for tomorrow ♪

850
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:53,320
♪ Embrace the past,
and you can live for now ♪

851
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:58,566
♪ And I will give
the world to you ♪

852
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,166
♪♪ [vocalizing ]

853
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:06,048
♪ Speak louder
than the words before you ♪

854
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:10,682
♪ And give them meaning
no one else has found ♪

855
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:15,049
♪ The role we play
is so important ♪

856
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:19,802
♪ We are the voices
of the underground ♪

857
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,803
'J'Andl;

858
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,680
♪ Will give
the world to you ♪

859
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,646
♪ Say everything
you've always wanted ♪

860
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:37,322
♪ Be not afraid
of who you really are ♪

861
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:41,485
♪ 'Cause in the end
we have each other;

862
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:46,162
♪ And that's at least
one thing worth living for;

863
00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:47,605
♪ AndlJ~
N;

864
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:53,289
♪ Would give the world to you ♪

865
00:41:57,720 --> 00:42:00,564
- [ Inaudible]
- ♪ I pass ♪

866
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,927
♪ It back to you ♪

867
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,001
♪ AndlJ~

868
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:10,085
♪ Will wait for you ♪

869
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:15,848
♪ 'Cause I would give
the world ♪

870
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:20,050
♪ And I would give the world ♪

871
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:24,808
♪ And I would give
the world ♪

872
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:26,962
♪ To YOU ♪

873
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,960
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

874
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,086
-_l~ I would give;
-.I' Oh.l'

875
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,448
♪ The world to you ♪

876
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,283
.RTo.r

877
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:48,331
- ♪ This is the new year;
- ♪ This is the new year;

878
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,880
♪ A new beginning .1'

879
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:52,849
- ♪ You made a promise ♪
- ♪ You made a promise ♪

880
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,241
♪ You are the brightest;

881
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,607
- ♪ We are the voices ♪
- ♪ We are ♪

882
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:00,405
- ♪ Oh-ho ♪
- ♪ This is the new year;

883
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,687
♪ We are the voices ♪

884
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,888
- ♪ This is the new year;
- ♪♪ [vocalizing ]

885
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,327
♪ A new beginning .1'

886
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:12,122
♪ You made a promise
We are the voices ♪

887
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:13,850
<i>♪ This is the new year ♪♪</i>

888
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,561
<i>♪♪ [ Vocalizing ]</i>

889
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:31,487
<i>♪♪ [ Harmonic Vocalizingj</i>

890
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,723
<i>♪ ./' [ Ends ]</i>

