1
00:00:02,183 --> 00:00:03,400
So here's what
you missed on Glee:
2
00:00:03,484 --> 00:00:04,851
Sue's pregnant,
which is crazy...
3
00:00:04,902 --> 00:00:06,603
I had my eggs frozen
in the late '70s.
4
00:00:06,687 --> 00:00:07,553
...and she won't say
who the father is,
5
00:00:07,605 --> 00:00:09,072
but insists that he's famous.
6
00:00:09,156 --> 00:00:10,657
Rachel and Finn
decided to get married
7
00:00:10,724 --> 00:00:12,242
after Regionals,
where the New Directions
8
00:00:12,326 --> 00:00:14,194
beat Sebastian and the Warblers
and a madrigal group
9
00:00:14,245 --> 00:00:16,029
that just sort of made
everyone uncomfortable.
10
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:17,781
And Sebastian made up with
Blaine after he realized
11
00:00:17,865 --> 00:00:19,399
life's too short to blind
people with rock salt.
12
00:00:19,450 --> 00:00:21,167
Quinn thought Rachel and Finn
were too young to get married,
13
00:00:21,235 --> 00:00:22,586
and refused to go
to the wedding.
14
00:00:22,670 --> 00:00:24,537
...which makes me really sad,
because I would have loved
15
00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:26,339
to have seen you in
a bridesmaid's dress, Quinn.
16
00:00:26,407 --> 00:00:28,174
...but then changed her mind
and started texting
17
00:00:28,242 --> 00:00:29,092
while she raced
to the courthouse,
18
00:00:29,176 --> 00:00:30,594
and her car got hit by a truck.
19
00:00:30,678 --> 00:00:31,511
And that's what
you missed on Glee!
20
00:00:36,967 --> 00:00:38,551
So do you think if Quinn
hadn't gotten into her accident,
21
00:00:38,619 --> 00:00:40,753
we still would've gone through
with the wedding? Yeah, totally.
22
00:00:40,805 --> 00:00:42,622
Totally. I mean,
I'm kind of glad we're waiting.
23
00:00:42,673 --> 00:00:45,058
Now it doesn't have to be
a Justice of the Peace quickie.
24
00:00:45,125 --> 00:00:46,676
Hey, I was thinking
since Nationals
25
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,595
are in Chicago this year,
26
00:00:48,646 --> 00:00:50,597
we-we should have the wedding
someplace special.
27
00:00:50,648 --> 00:00:53,016
Like-like on the pitcher's mound
of Wrigley Field.
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00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,235
O-Or someplace else.
It's not that, it's Quinn.
29
00:00:55,302 --> 00:00:57,103
I can't stop thinking
about her. She's...
30
00:00:57,154 --> 00:00:59,489
Right behind you.
31
00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:08,198
Hi, Quinn!
We missed you so much.
32
00:01:08,282 --> 00:01:10,366
No, don't.
33
00:01:10,451 --> 00:01:13,086
I could have easily become one
of those creepy memorial pages
34
00:01:13,153 --> 00:01:15,872
in the yearbook, but by
the grace of God, I'm here.
35
00:01:17,875 --> 00:01:19,759
Believe it or not...
36
00:01:19,826 --> 00:01:21,377
this is the happiest
day of my life.
37
00:01:22,930 --> 00:01:24,931
Come on, Artie.
I'll race you to the choir room.
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00:01:30,521 --> 00:01:32,505
♪ You could never know
what it's like ♪
39
00:01:32,556 --> 00:01:35,508
♪ Your blood like winter
freezes just like ice ♪
40
00:01:35,559 --> 00:01:38,144
♪ And there's a cold lonely
light that shines from you ♪
41
00:01:38,195 --> 00:01:39,646
♪ You'll wind up like
the wreck you hide ♪
42
00:01:39,697 --> 00:01:43,900
♪ Behind that mask you use
43
00:01:43,984 --> 00:01:46,152
♪ And did you think this fool
could never win? ♪
44
00:01:46,203 --> 00:01:49,021
♪ Well, look at me,
I'm coming back again ♪
45
00:01:49,073 --> 00:01:51,357
♪ I got a taste of love
in a simple way ♪
46
00:01:51,408 --> 00:01:53,076
♪ And if you need to know,
while I'm still standing ♪
47
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:56,880
♪ You just fade away
48
00:01:56,964 --> 00:01:58,798
♪ Don't you know
I'm still standing ♪
49
00:01:58,865 --> 00:02:01,134
♪ Better than I ever did
50
00:02:01,201 --> 00:02:04,137
♪ Looking like a true survivor
51
00:02:04,204 --> 00:02:05,922
♪ Feeling like a little kid
52
00:02:07,474 --> 00:02:10,226
♪ I'm still standing
53
00:02:10,311 --> 00:02:12,312
♪ After all this time
54
00:02:12,379 --> 00:02:15,431
♪ Picking up the pieces
of my life ♪
55
00:02:15,516 --> 00:02:17,066
♪ Without you on my mind
56
00:02:17,151 --> 00:02:19,652
♪ I'm still standing
57
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:20,987
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
58
00:02:22,489 --> 00:02:24,941
♪ I'm still standing
59
00:02:25,025 --> 00:02:26,910
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
60
00:02:28,829 --> 00:02:32,081
♪ Once I never could
hope to win ♪
61
00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:33,750
♪ You started down the road
leaving me again ♪
62
00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:36,836
♪ The threats you made were
meant to cut me down ♪
63
00:02:36,903 --> 00:02:38,788
♪ And if our love
was just a circus ♪
64
00:02:38,872 --> 00:02:41,257
♪ You'd be a clown by now
65
00:02:41,342 --> 00:02:43,960
♪ Don't you know
I'm still standing ♪
66
00:02:44,044 --> 00:02:46,963
♪ Better than I ever did
67
00:02:47,047 --> 00:02:49,849
♪ Looking like a true survivor
68
00:02:49,916 --> 00:02:52,518
♪ Feeling like a little kid
69
00:02:52,586 --> 00:02:55,221
♪ I'm still standing
70
00:02:55,272 --> 00:02:57,890
♪ After all this time
71
00:02:57,942 --> 00:02:59,892
♪ Picking up the
pieces of my life ♪
72
00:02:59,944 --> 00:03:02,612
♪ Without you on my mind
73
00:03:02,696 --> 00:03:04,731
♪ I'm still standing
74
00:03:04,782 --> 00:03:06,699
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
75
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,451
♪ Oh-oh-oh...
76
00:03:08,535 --> 00:03:10,653
♪ I'm still standing
77
00:03:10,738 --> 00:03:12,605
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ I'm still standing
78
00:03:12,656 --> 00:03:15,375
♪ I'm still standing,
I'm still standing. ♪
79
00:03:18,495 --> 00:03:20,663
Here's a lesson for
your board, Mr. Shue.
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00:03:20,748 --> 00:03:23,549
Don't text and drive. Ever.
81
00:03:23,617 --> 00:03:25,218
It's the stupidest thing
I've ever done.
82
00:03:25,285 --> 00:03:26,669
Besides sleeping with Puck.
83
00:03:28,806 --> 00:03:31,007
There's a lot of rumors floating
around, so let's clear the air.
84
00:03:31,125 --> 00:03:33,676
First of all, all my plumbing
still works, which is awesome.
85
00:03:33,761 --> 00:03:36,429
But my spine was severely
compressed in the car accident,
86
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,632
which basically means
I can't move my feet or legs.
87
00:03:39,683 --> 00:03:40,966
But the good thing is that
88
00:03:41,018 --> 00:03:42,802
I'm starting to regain feeling,
89
00:03:42,853 --> 00:03:46,439
so with a lot of physical
therapy, and your prayers,
90
00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:48,157
I stand a good chance
for a full recovery.
91
00:03:48,242 --> 00:03:50,076
So no tears.
92
00:03:50,143 --> 00:03:52,645
That means you, Tina.
93
00:03:52,696 --> 00:03:54,664
Oh, and I apologize
for the number.
94
00:03:54,748 --> 00:03:57,083
My dance moves aren't
as smooth as Artie's yet.
95
00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:58,835
With practice,
they will be.
96
00:04:02,489 --> 00:04:06,492
I promise that by the time
we go to Nationals,
97
00:04:06,543 --> 00:04:08,594
I'll be out of this chair,
98
00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:10,647
and dancing on that stage.
99
00:04:10,714 --> 00:04:11,597
All right.
100
00:04:12,966 --> 00:04:14,684
Whoo!
101
00:04:25,229 --> 00:04:26,979
I'm sorry, I...
102
00:04:27,031 --> 00:04:29,732
I don't think I understand
what you just told me.
103
00:04:29,817 --> 00:04:32,135
I said, I'm making
swim coach Roz Washington
104
00:04:32,202 --> 00:04:34,353
co-coach of the Cheerios!
105
00:04:34,405 --> 00:04:37,540
How can you do this to me?
106
00:04:37,624 --> 00:04:39,175
I think I can answer
that question.
107
00:04:39,243 --> 00:04:42,378
This Saturday the Cheerios!
had Regionals tournament.
108
00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:45,248
You were 15 minutes late.
That's unacceptable.
109
00:04:45,332 --> 00:04:46,916
I had a doctor's appointment.
110
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,918
Oh... I know.
The doctor had to shine
111
00:04:49,002 --> 00:04:52,588
a flashlight in your va-jay-jay
to get all the bats to fly out.
112
00:04:52,673 --> 00:04:54,841
I understand that keeping
bats out of your womb
113
00:04:54,892 --> 00:04:58,010
is an important part of having a
baby when you're older than God.
114
00:04:58,062 --> 00:05:02,181
But it is no way to win a
national championship. Sue...
115
00:05:02,232 --> 00:05:04,701
The lovely and talented
bronze medalist
116
00:05:04,768 --> 00:05:06,486
Roz Washington has a point.
117
00:05:06,553 --> 00:05:09,572
We need the money
and sponsorships that only
118
00:05:09,656 --> 00:05:11,357
a national championship
can bring to the school,
119
00:05:11,408 --> 00:05:14,694
and your condition is
compromising your work.
120
00:05:14,745 --> 00:05:16,162
It's settled.
My word is law.
121
00:05:16,229 --> 00:05:18,581
This will not stand!
122
00:05:18,665 --> 00:05:19,782
Oh, it's gonna stand.
123
00:05:19,867 --> 00:05:21,233
And you know what else
is gonna stand?
124
00:05:21,285 --> 00:05:24,454
Your fully-grown, adult baby
125
00:05:24,538 --> 00:05:27,423
when he pops out of your birth
canal, before he hurries off
126
00:05:27,508 --> 00:05:30,009
to the high-powered law firm
where he has just made partner.
127
00:05:30,076 --> 00:05:33,262
So take your Centrum Silver,
and your old ass,
128
00:05:33,347 --> 00:05:36,215
and find a new dream.
129
00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:46,592
What if I can guarantee you
a national championship?
130
00:05:46,643 --> 00:05:48,027
And how will you do that?
131
00:05:48,094 --> 00:05:50,146
The Glee Club.
If they win at Nationals,
132
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:52,782
the school wins
a $10,000 cash prize.
133
00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:54,901
I get you that money,
134
00:05:54,952 --> 00:05:58,571
I get to run the cheerleading
program alone!
135
00:05:58,622 --> 00:06:01,073
Five, six, seven, eight!
136
00:06:08,248 --> 00:06:10,500
Stop! Please, stop!
137
00:06:10,584 --> 00:06:12,952
This is an embarrassment.
138
00:06:13,003 --> 00:06:15,071
Hey, Mercedes.
Who you texting?
139
00:06:15,139 --> 00:06:16,589
I'm not texting anyone,
140
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,925
I'm donating to
the Obama campaign...
141
00:06:18,976 --> 00:06:21,010
My Droid!
142
00:06:21,094 --> 00:06:23,513
Good news! I booked a tour at
the Railroad Museum on Friday,
143
00:06:23,597 --> 00:06:26,265
which means we're gonna have
an awesome Senior's Ditch Day.
144
00:06:26,316 --> 00:06:27,850
What is she doing here?
Hey, Granny Panties!
145
00:06:27,935 --> 00:06:29,519
I'm taking over Booty Camp1
146
00:06:29,603 --> 00:06:31,136
Why on earth do you
want to run Booty Camp?
147
00:06:31,188 --> 00:06:33,272
Because, as I established, I
want to help you win Nationals.
148
00:06:33,323 --> 00:06:35,608
And I am a champion
who can whip that squad
149
00:06:35,659 --> 00:06:37,026
of pear-shaped teens into shape.
150
00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:39,111
You're out of shape,
you're constantly late,
151
00:06:39,163 --> 00:06:40,530
and when you're not
too busy texting,
152
00:06:40,614 --> 00:06:41,831
you're complaining about
153
00:06:41,915 --> 00:06:43,749
the choreography
you're too lazy to learn.
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00:06:43,817 --> 00:06:46,502
You're nothing but
a coven of tardy,
155
00:06:46,587 --> 00:06:49,172
narcissistic, bloated
bags of cellulite
156
00:06:49,256 --> 00:06:50,840
who will stab each other
in the back
157
00:06:50,924 --> 00:06:52,425
at the first glimpse of a solo
158
00:06:52,492 --> 00:06:55,711
in a competition hosted by
a late-night horror movie host.
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00:06:55,796 --> 00:06:57,663
Well, those days are over.
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00:06:57,714 --> 00:06:58,965
Sue?
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00:06:59,016 --> 00:07:00,433
We need to talk about what
happened at Booty Camp.
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00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:03,335
Oh, you mean my epic smack down
of the glee club over their
163
00:07:03,387 --> 00:07:05,438
complete apathy and
lack of professionalism?
164
00:07:05,505 --> 00:07:07,440
According to the kids,
you were typical abusive
165
00:07:07,507 --> 00:07:09,192
belligerent self,
only more so.
166
00:07:09,276 --> 00:07:11,227
I just got this
e-mail from Kurt.
167
00:07:11,311 --> 00:07:13,312
"Mr. Shue, save us!
168
00:07:13,363 --> 00:07:15,615
Coach Sue is meaner than
Tabatha!" First of all,
169
00:07:15,682 --> 00:07:18,117
I have absolutely no idea who
Porcelain is referring to.
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00:07:18,184 --> 00:07:20,119
I'm assuming it's gay and niche.
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00:07:20,186 --> 00:07:21,704
Secondly, based on
the pathetic display
172
00:07:21,788 --> 00:07:23,522
I just saw?
173
00:07:23,574 --> 00:07:26,459
Your glee club's back-to-back
victories were flukes.
174
00:07:26,526 --> 00:07:27,627
Oh...
Against Vocal Adrenaline?
175
00:07:27,694 --> 00:07:29,579
On the national stage?
176
00:07:29,663 --> 00:07:31,196
You'll be like lambs
to the slaughter.
177
00:07:31,248 --> 00:07:34,083
Why are you resisting
my help, William?
178
00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:36,135
We should try to
inspire and encourage
179
00:07:36,202 --> 00:07:38,203
our kids, Sue,
not humiliate and crush them.
180
00:07:38,255 --> 00:07:39,538
I don't get it.
181
00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:41,591
You were acting like you
had turned over a new leaf.
182
00:07:41,675 --> 00:07:43,509
William... I'm near the end
of my first trimester.
183
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,178
I'm wildly hormonal, riding out
184
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:48,380
massive, unpredictable
mood swings.
185
00:07:48,432 --> 00:07:50,900
Stop trying to
understand my actions.
186
00:07:50,984 --> 00:07:53,052
Maybe you should
talk to your doctor
187
00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:55,071
about adjusting your medication?
Oh, I'll ask.
188
00:07:55,155 --> 00:07:57,490
I'm going there this week to
confirm the sex of my daughter.
189
00:07:57,557 --> 00:08:00,526
Mm! Oh, Sue!
That's a mother-to-be
190
00:08:00,577 --> 00:08:02,745
single most important doctor
visit. Who's going with you?
191
00:08:02,829 --> 00:08:04,413
Same person who's going to
help me raise this child,
192
00:08:04,498 --> 00:08:05,898
Barbara Gordon. No one.
193
00:08:05,949 --> 00:08:09,702
We'll...
Sue, you can't go alone.
194
00:08:09,753 --> 00:08:11,904
No, you need a friend there,
for moral support.
195
00:08:11,955 --> 00:08:13,539
I agree.
196
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:17,543
We'll go with you.
197
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,246
You okay?
198
00:08:21,298 --> 00:08:22,398
You seem a little preoccupied.
199
00:08:22,466 --> 00:08:23,766
Oh, well, my brother's in town.
200
00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:25,918
He's picking me up,
taking me out to lunch.
201
00:08:25,969 --> 00:08:27,419
Blaine, that's exciting!
202
00:08:27,471 --> 00:08:29,689
I finally get to meet this
mysterious brother of yours,
203
00:08:29,756 --> 00:08:31,023
who you refuse to talk about.
204
00:08:31,091 --> 00:08:32,608
I'm dying to know
what he looks like.
205
00:08:32,693 --> 00:08:34,443
Oh, trust me, you...
206
00:08:34,528 --> 00:08:35,811
you already know
what he looks like.
207
00:08:35,896 --> 00:08:37,396
Blainie!
208
00:08:37,447 --> 00:08:38,564
Hey, Coop!
Hey!
209
00:08:38,615 --> 00:08:40,316
Hey.
How are you, bud?
210
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:41,701
Good. Good to see you, man.
211
00:08:41,768 --> 00:08:42,768
This your,
this your boyfriend, here?
212
00:08:42,819 --> 00:08:44,120
Actually, yes, it is.
Hi.
213
00:08:44,204 --> 00:08:46,238
Kurt, this is my brother...
Nice to meet you.
214
00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:48,291
...Cooper Anderson. Oh,
my God. You're the guy from
215
00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:49,458
the freecreditratingtoday.com
commercials!
216
00:08:49,543 --> 00:08:50,743
Guilty as charged.
217
00:08:50,794 --> 00:08:52,161
♪ Know your score
218
00:08:52,245 --> 00:08:54,914
♪ Freecreditratingtoday.com
219
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:56,916
♪ Slash savings!
220
00:08:56,967 --> 00:09:01,387
I love those commercials!
The jingle's my ringtone!
221
00:09:01,454 --> 00:09:02,888
Excuse me, I'm sorry
to interrupt, but, um,
222
00:09:02,956 --> 00:09:04,390
I just needed to tell you
223
00:09:04,457 --> 00:09:06,809
that I am an enormous
fan of your work.
224
00:09:06,893 --> 00:09:07,893
Thank you.
225
00:09:07,961 --> 00:09:09,729
Will you sign my breast?
My pleasure.
226
00:09:10,764 --> 00:09:12,631
"Keep on dreaming.
227
00:09:12,683 --> 00:09:14,400
"Yours...
Mine.
228
00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:17,302
Cooper Anderson."
229
00:09:17,354 --> 00:09:18,904
You do me a great honor.
230
00:09:18,972 --> 00:09:21,490
And if Alan Menken isn't
personally writing you
231
00:09:21,575 --> 00:09:23,442
a fairy tale musical
at this very moment,
232
00:09:23,493 --> 00:09:26,078
I will hunt him down
and beat him senseless
233
00:09:26,146 --> 00:09:27,363
with a cudgel.
234
00:09:27,447 --> 00:09:32,001
Because you, sir,
are a Disney prince.
235
00:09:32,085 --> 00:09:33,919
Wow.
236
00:09:33,987 --> 00:09:37,256
God, it is great to be
back in the Midwest.
237
00:09:37,323 --> 00:09:39,508
My commercial's on hiatus,
238
00:09:39,593 --> 00:09:42,161
so I told my agent I was
headed back to the heartland
239
00:09:42,212 --> 00:09:44,847
to press the flesh,
do some character research.
240
00:09:44,931 --> 00:09:47,466
Next season's commercials have
a lot more intense, gritty
241
00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:49,101
character stuff, so
I really want to explore
242
00:09:49,169 --> 00:09:50,970
my salt-of-the-earth roots.
243
00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:52,838
Blaine, your brother's the
best-looking man in North America.
244
00:09:52,889 --> 00:09:54,690
Um, Coop and I are gonna head...
Excuse me.
245
00:09:54,775 --> 00:09:56,776
Gaston, if I could pull you
away from these ladies
246
00:09:56,843 --> 00:09:59,862
for just a moment; I have
something I'd like to ask you.
247
00:09:59,946 --> 00:10:02,481
Yeah. I mean, that's...
248
00:10:02,532 --> 00:10:05,284
that's why I never really
talk about my brother.
249
00:10:08,653 --> 00:10:10,321
We all know why we're here.
I've waited five years for this.
250
00:10:10,372 --> 00:10:11,622
I want ideas for
Senior Ditch Day. Go.
251
00:10:11,689 --> 00:10:13,324
Ooh! A Gershwin/Sondheim
scavenger hunt!
252
00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:14,575
That sounds like torture.
253
00:10:14,659 --> 00:10:16,327
We want actual ideas, Kurt.
254
00:10:16,378 --> 00:10:17,795
How about a dance movie
marathon? Footloose...
255
00:10:17,862 --> 00:10:19,663
Footloose 2011.
256
00:10:19,714 --> 00:10:21,298
What about a non-alcoholic
pub crawl?
257
00:10:21,366 --> 00:10:23,300
It's Senior Ditch Day, not
Senior Citizen's Ditch Day.
258
00:10:23,368 --> 00:10:25,753
It's springtime. I would like
to see something give birth.
259
00:10:27,506 --> 00:10:29,757
Quinn, I'm so sorry.
260
00:10:29,825 --> 00:10:32,893
It was my wedding
that you were going to
261
00:10:32,978 --> 00:10:34,895
when you got into
your car crash, and...
262
00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:36,480
you were answering
my text message, and now...
263
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:38,065
we're all sitting here,
and we're talking about
264
00:10:38,150 --> 00:10:40,151
this day that's supposed to be
265
00:10:40,218 --> 00:10:41,986
the most amazing
and unforgettable day
266
00:10:42,053 --> 00:10:43,988
of our high school lives,
and we're-we're completely
267
00:10:44,055 --> 00:10:46,540
ignoring the fact that
she's sitting in that chair?
268
00:10:46,608 --> 00:10:49,410
It's not right.
269
00:10:49,494 --> 00:10:51,679
It's not right,
and it shouldn't be like this.
270
00:10:51,746 --> 00:10:53,531
Well, maybe not, but...
271
00:10:53,582 --> 00:10:55,449
this is the way it is.
272
00:10:55,534 --> 00:10:58,669
My accident, which you did
not cause, by the way,
273
00:10:58,736 --> 00:11:02,123
does not define me
or ruin our senior year.
274
00:11:02,207 --> 00:11:04,542
I meant what I said
in the choir room.
275
00:11:04,593 --> 00:11:07,211
I'm not gonna dwell on this, and
neither should any of you, okay?
276
00:11:07,262 --> 00:11:08,295
Come here.
277
00:11:14,686 --> 00:11:18,506
Come on.
Come on.
278
00:11:20,809 --> 00:11:23,144
Now, we are ditching as planned.
279
00:11:24,446 --> 00:11:26,814
I think we should go
to Six Flags.
280
00:11:26,898 --> 00:11:28,932
The Lady Fabray has chosen
wisely. Six Flags it is.
281
00:11:28,984 --> 00:11:30,100
Meeting adjourned.
282
00:11:30,152 --> 00:11:31,452
Hey!
283
00:11:31,536 --> 00:11:33,437
Hey, Finn, can you hang back
for a sec?
284
00:11:33,488 --> 00:11:34,822
The Apple guy.
285
00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:36,957
The Facebook guy.
Abraham Lincoln.
286
00:11:37,042 --> 00:11:38,709
What do these guys all have
in common with us?
287
00:11:38,776 --> 00:11:40,611
I don't know.
They were all in a show choir?
288
00:11:40,662 --> 00:11:43,047
None of 'em were taken
seriously in high school, dude.
289
00:11:43,114 --> 00:11:44,615
They were written off
by the world
290
00:11:44,666 --> 00:11:46,050
until they got
the big idea.
291
00:11:46,117 --> 00:11:47,885
Then bingo!
The rest is history.
292
00:11:47,952 --> 00:11:49,420
Okay. So what's your big idea?
293
00:11:49,471 --> 00:11:53,257
Lima's only got 22 pools.
294
00:11:53,308 --> 00:11:55,142
Southern California has
800 freaking thousand!
295
00:11:55,227 --> 00:11:56,460
I Googled it.
296
00:11:56,511 --> 00:11:59,597
So after graduation,
I'm gonna move to L.A.
297
00:11:59,648 --> 00:12:01,465
and expand my
pool cleaning business.
298
00:12:01,516 --> 00:12:03,267
And I want you to be
my business partner.
299
00:12:03,318 --> 00:12:04,768
With your brains
and my jaw line,
300
00:12:04,819 --> 00:12:06,303
I'm telling you,
we'd kill it.
301
00:12:06,354 --> 00:12:09,073
Wow, dude, I'm so honored
that you'd even consider me.
302
00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:10,474
But you know, after we graduate,
303
00:12:10,525 --> 00:12:12,159
I'm going to New York
with Rachel.
304
00:12:12,244 --> 00:12:15,613
Okay. Let's say you weren't,
just 'cause maybe she doesn't
305
00:12:15,664 --> 00:12:18,499
get into that fancy school or
you don't get married right away.
306
00:12:18,583 --> 00:12:20,284
We are. It's gonna happen.
307
00:12:20,335 --> 00:12:21,318
Okay.
308
00:12:21,369 --> 00:12:23,621
But, hey, could
you do me a favor?
309
00:12:23,672 --> 00:12:25,489
Um, you know that
blonde on Sycamore Street
310
00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:27,508
that likes to mow
her lawn in tube tops?
311
00:12:27,592 --> 00:12:28,825
Yeah, Mrs. Tennison.
Yeah.
312
00:12:28,877 --> 00:12:30,160
Well, her Jacuzzi's busted.
313
00:12:30,212 --> 00:12:32,296
So, I thought since you know
so much about motors,
314
00:12:32,347 --> 00:12:34,381
you could take a look at it.
Help me out.
315
00:12:34,466 --> 00:12:36,850
Yeah. All right,
I could probably do that.
316
00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:42,973
Lazy idiots, your leader
Will Schuester has informed me
317
00:12:43,024 --> 00:12:45,643
that my teaching methods
are harsh and too extreme.
318
00:12:45,694 --> 00:12:48,913
So I've decided to show you
what a real artist looks
319
00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:50,614
and acts like.
320
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:54,818
Ladies and gays,
as my gift to you,
321
00:12:54,869 --> 00:12:56,537
which you do not deserve,
322
00:12:56,621 --> 00:12:59,206
I give you
Porcelain's famous brother...
323
00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:00,291
Actually, it's my brother.
324
00:13:00,358 --> 00:13:01,709
...Cooper Anderson.
325
00:13:03,962 --> 00:13:04,962
Thank you, Sue.
326
00:13:07,132 --> 00:13:08,882
Namaste.
Okay.
327
00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:11,919
Guys, it was just a few years
ago that I was sitting
328
00:13:12,003 --> 00:13:15,389
in a sad drab room like this
with dreams like yours
329
00:13:15,473 --> 00:13:18,208
that I thought would
never come true.
330
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:20,377
But you know what?
They did.
331
00:13:20,428 --> 00:13:24,431
So, tomorrow, at Sue's
insistence, I will be teaching
332
00:13:24,516 --> 00:13:27,101
a Master class in acting
for anyone who's interested
333
00:13:27,185 --> 00:13:29,219
in becoming successful
in the business like me.
334
00:13:29,271 --> 00:13:30,487
Fantastic!
335
00:13:32,824 --> 00:13:34,224
Cooper, we can't
thank you enough.
336
00:13:34,276 --> 00:13:37,027
This is so generous of you to
share your time and expertise.
337
00:13:37,078 --> 00:13:39,663
Well, it's very clear that the
Anderson brothers are very talented,
338
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:42,399
and I'm sure that there were
many a family holiday
339
00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:44,785
where the two of you maybe
did a little duet by the piano?
340
00:13:44,869 --> 00:13:47,738
Actually, it's funny that you
should mention that because
341
00:13:47,789 --> 00:13:49,406
Blaine and I were famous
around the neighborhood.
342
00:13:49,457 --> 00:13:50,741
Not famous.
343
00:13:50,792 --> 00:13:53,577
We were pretty famous
around the neighborhood
344
00:13:53,628 --> 00:13:54,878
for our dueling
Simon LeBon impressions.
345
00:13:54,929 --> 00:13:58,048
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Please don't make me do that.
346
00:13:58,099 --> 00:13:59,183
Oh, no, Blaine,
you have to.
347
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:00,301
You're both so
handsome and good.
348
00:14:00,385 --> 00:14:02,136
Come on, Blaine.
What do you say?
349
00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:04,221
How about a little Duran Duran?
Is that okay?
350
00:14:04,272 --> 00:14:05,856
Yeah.
Come on.
351
00:14:05,923 --> 00:14:07,725
Okay, okay, okay.
352
00:14:09,093 --> 00:14:10,894
You're on, Cooper.
353
00:14:10,945 --> 00:14:12,613
Ooh, the cardigan's coming off. Whoo!
354
00:14:16,234 --> 00:14:19,236
♪ Darken the city,
night is a wire ♪
355
00:14:19,287 --> 00:14:23,040
♪ Steam in the subway,
Earth is afire ♪
356
00:14:23,107 --> 00:14:27,778
♪ Do, do, do-do-do, do-do-do
do-do-do, do-do-do, do, do ♪
357
00:14:30,281 --> 00:14:34,668
♪ Woman, you want me,
give me a sign ♪
358
00:14:34,753 --> 00:14:36,887
♪ And catch my breathing
even closer behind ♪
359
00:14:36,954 --> 00:14:42,476
♪ Do, do, do-do-do, do-do-do
do-do-do, do-do-do, do, do ♪
360
00:14:44,929 --> 00:14:50,851
♪ Her name is Rio and she dances
on the sand ♪
361
00:14:50,935 --> 00:14:52,936
♪ Smell like I sound ♪
362
00:14:52,987 --> 00:14:57,408
♪ Just like that river twisting
through a dusty land ♪
363
00:14:57,475 --> 00:14:59,142
♪ Straddle the line ♪
364
00:14:59,194 --> 00:15:05,532
♪ And when she shines, she
really shows you all she can ♪
365
00:15:05,617 --> 00:15:07,201
♪ Mouth is alive ♪
366
00:15:07,285 --> 00:15:12,656
♪ Oh, Rio, oh, Rio, dance
across the Rio Grande ♪
367
00:15:16,211 --> 00:15:18,045
♪ Hungry like the wolf
368
00:15:20,498 --> 00:15:23,183
♪ Hungry like the wolf
369
00:15:23,268 --> 00:15:26,353
♪ Hungry like the wolf
370
00:15:26,438 --> 00:15:27,938
♪ Don't make a sound ♪
371
00:15:28,005 --> 00:15:34,010
♪ Her name is Rio,
she don't need to understand ♪
372
00:15:34,062 --> 00:15:35,612
♪ Yeah
♪ Smell like I sound ♪
373
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:41,118
♪ And I might find her
if I'm looking like I can ♪
374
00:15:41,185 --> 00:15:42,703
♪ Straddle the line ♪
375
00:15:42,787 --> 00:15:48,375
♪ Oh, Rio, oh, Rio, hear them
shout across the land ♪
376
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:49,993
♪ Mouth is alive
377
00:15:50,044 --> 00:15:54,832
♪ From mountains in the north
down to the Rio Grande ♪
378
00:15:54,883 --> 00:15:57,551
♪ Burning the ground ♪
379
00:15:57,635 --> 00:16:01,872
♪ Her name is Rio,
she don't need to understand ♪
380
00:16:01,923 --> 00:16:03,640
♪ Smell like I sound ♪
381
00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:09,596
♪ From mountains in the north,
down to the Rio Grande ♪
382
00:16:09,681 --> 00:16:11,098
♪ Burning the ground.
383
00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:19,106
Standing O. Whoo!
Well...
384
00:16:19,190 --> 00:16:22,058
I was really great
in that number.
385
00:16:27,056 --> 00:16:28,339
Could I get
a wee bit of cheese with that?
386
00:16:28,424 --> 00:16:29,807
What part of Scotland
are you from?
387
00:16:29,892 --> 00:16:31,926
Ireland. We're the micks,
they're the macs.
388
00:16:31,977 --> 00:16:33,311
I'll get you guys
some free Cokes.
389
00:16:33,395 --> 00:16:34,429
Oh, cheers.
390
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,797
Bless you.
Why do you do that?
391
00:16:36,849 --> 00:16:39,851
Service industry is a great
place to try out new accents.
392
00:16:39,935 --> 00:16:41,069
Keeps your instrument
from getting rusty.
393
00:16:41,136 --> 00:16:42,770
Use everything.
394
00:16:42,821 --> 00:16:44,239
Will do.
395
00:16:44,306 --> 00:16:47,108
So, nice job on the
song today. Really nice.
396
00:16:47,159 --> 00:16:50,194
Oh, thank you. You were
a little pitchy on "Rio,"
397
00:16:50,279 --> 00:16:52,196
and your moves lacked a theme,
though.
398
00:16:52,281 --> 00:16:55,950
My theme was dancing, I guess.
But you have to give in to it.
399
00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:57,452
Stanislavsky says,
400
00:16:57,503 --> 00:16:59,621
"The fingers are the eyes
of the body,"
401
00:16:59,672 --> 00:17:03,091
but he never mentioned
that the toes are the ears.
402
00:17:03,158 --> 00:17:04,542
You're unbelievable.
403
00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:06,827
What do you mean? What
are you doing? What?
404
00:17:06,879 --> 00:17:09,964
All you ever do is tell me
what I'm doing wrong.
405
00:17:10,015 --> 00:17:11,849
You waste no opportunity
to remind me
406
00:17:11,934 --> 00:17:14,018
how much I suck
at, like, everything.
407
00:17:14,103 --> 00:17:16,688
No, no. Come on, Blaine.
408
00:17:16,772 --> 00:17:18,005
Your balance is
completely off.
409
00:17:18,057 --> 00:17:21,559
I just learned to walk
three years ago.
410
00:17:21,644 --> 00:17:24,312
If that happened, I'm so sorry.
411
00:17:24,363 --> 00:17:26,064
But I don't,
I don't remember it.
412
00:17:26,148 --> 00:17:27,148
Of course you don't.
413
00:17:27,199 --> 00:17:29,200
Hey, hey, little brother,
414
00:17:29,285 --> 00:17:31,986
I know there is an age
difference between us,
415
00:17:32,037 --> 00:17:34,188
But I'd really want
to be closer to you.
416
00:17:34,256 --> 00:17:36,624
I want to get to know you
a little better,
417
00:17:36,692 --> 00:17:38,826
all right?
418
00:17:38,877 --> 00:17:40,328
That's why I'm here.
419
00:17:40,379 --> 00:17:43,247
Yeah. No, I would love that.
I'd like that.
420
00:17:43,332 --> 00:17:44,532
Great! So you're gonna come
421
00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:46,000
to my Master class tomorrow,
right?
422
00:17:46,051 --> 00:17:47,635
Right?
Yeah, sure.
423
00:17:47,703 --> 00:17:49,170
Great. Cheers.
424
00:17:49,221 --> 00:17:50,505
The accent.
425
00:17:50,556 --> 00:17:51,639
Top o' the morning.
426
00:17:53,092 --> 00:17:54,642
Ready?
427
00:17:54,710 --> 00:17:56,177
I don't know. It's super-steep.
428
00:17:56,228 --> 00:17:59,063
In fact, it's the steepest
accessibility ramp in Lima.
429
00:17:59,148 --> 00:18:01,349
I know.
I've conquered them all.
430
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,601
I think I'm just gonna go
to the front of the school.
431
00:18:03,686 --> 00:18:06,070
That ramp is nice and gentle.
432
00:18:06,155 --> 00:18:07,322
Quinn Fabray!
433
00:18:09,074 --> 00:18:11,109
I believe in you.
434
00:18:15,564 --> 00:18:16,998
Now come on.
435
00:18:17,065 --> 00:18:19,450
Prove me right.
You can do this.
436
00:18:19,535 --> 00:18:21,619
I'm not gonna make it.
437
00:18:21,704 --> 00:18:22,453
You will!
438
00:18:24,072 --> 00:18:26,207
My arms...
439
00:18:26,258 --> 00:18:27,625
...are like iron! Come on!
440
00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:29,010
You can do it!
441
00:18:29,077 --> 00:18:30,211
...aren't strong like yours.
442
00:18:30,262 --> 00:18:31,546
Yes, you are.
Lean forward and push.
443
00:18:33,716 --> 00:18:35,350
Ow.
444
00:18:35,417 --> 00:18:36,884
Come on. You're halfway there.
445
00:18:36,935 --> 00:18:40,138
You've got this!
Push! Push!
446
00:18:40,222 --> 00:18:42,423
That sounds familiar.
447
00:18:43,609 --> 00:18:45,393
It's just like
having a baby. Come on.
448
00:18:45,444 --> 00:18:47,278
You wouldn't know!
449
00:18:47,363 --> 00:18:48,429
Three,
450
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,565
Two...
451
00:18:50,616 --> 00:18:52,700
one... zero.
452
00:18:52,768 --> 00:18:54,702
You made it!
Whoo!
453
00:18:54,770 --> 00:18:55,787
Oh, my God.
454
00:18:55,871 --> 00:18:57,572
Whoo!
455
00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:02,460
Now just stay
up there.
456
00:19:02,544 --> 00:19:04,712
I would say that was one
457
00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:06,547
of the hardest
things I've ever done.
458
00:19:06,615 --> 00:19:08,115
Until you go
to Six Flags.
459
00:19:08,167 --> 00:19:09,784
Look, I'm not trying
to be a buzzkill,
460
00:19:09,835 --> 00:19:11,135
but going to an
amusement park
461
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:12,503
when you're in
a wheelchair--
462
00:19:12,588 --> 00:19:14,005
especially if you're
still getting used to it--
463
00:19:14,089 --> 00:19:15,339
can kind of
be a drag.
464
00:19:15,424 --> 00:19:17,975
Artie, it's Senior Ditch Day.
465
00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:20,728
It's the only Senior Ditch Day
I'm ever going to have.
466
00:19:20,796 --> 00:19:23,231
I completely agree,
which is why I want you to come
467
00:19:23,298 --> 00:19:24,232
with me on Friday.
468
00:19:24,299 --> 00:19:25,683
I promise you,
469
00:19:25,768 --> 00:19:28,319
it will be the most amazing,
incredible and inspiring
470
00:19:28,404 --> 00:19:29,987
Ditch Day ever.
471
00:19:31,139 --> 00:19:32,973
Whoo!
472
00:19:33,025 --> 00:19:36,411
Welcome, guys, to the Cooper
Anderson Acting Master class.
473
00:19:36,478 --> 00:19:37,812
Thank you. Yes.
474
00:19:37,863 --> 00:19:40,331
Buckle your seat belts, kids,
buckle your seat belts
475
00:19:40,416 --> 00:19:43,484
'cause I'm about
to pour you a tall glass of
476
00:19:43,535 --> 00:19:44,786
"This is how it is."
477
00:19:44,837 --> 00:19:46,337
First thing you're gonna
want to know:
478
00:19:46,422 --> 00:19:48,923
Don't go to college.
It is a waste of time.
479
00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:50,041
Number two:
480
00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:51,876
Don't go to New York.
481
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,378
Theater is lame
and Broadway is dead.
482
00:19:54,463 --> 00:19:56,013
Real actors do TV and film,
483
00:19:56,098 --> 00:19:58,349
which means Hollywood
is where it's at.
484
00:19:58,434 --> 00:20:00,468
Now let's talk headshots.
485
00:20:00,519 --> 00:20:03,638
Always, without fail,
turn into a pose.
486
00:20:03,689 --> 00:20:05,189
Again.
Wow.
487
00:20:05,274 --> 00:20:06,524
And again.
Ooh...
488
00:20:06,608 --> 00:20:08,476
And one more time.
Oh, yeah!
489
00:20:08,527 --> 00:20:10,778
Yes, that is a dynamic headshot,
and bam,
490
00:20:10,846 --> 00:20:13,147
you just got your first
callback. So now you've got
491
00:20:13,198 --> 00:20:15,233
your "sides."
Your foot's in the door.
492
00:20:15,317 --> 00:20:17,184
What do you do next?
Gotta figure out,
493
00:20:17,236 --> 00:20:19,120
is it comedic or is it dramatic?
494
00:20:19,187 --> 00:20:20,905
Often, it's hard to tell, right?
495
00:20:20,989 --> 00:20:23,023
So do what I do:
ask the director.
496
00:20:23,075 --> 00:20:24,542
"Is this scene comedic
or dramatic?"
497
00:20:24,626 --> 00:20:26,661
He will know you're an
actor who's not afraid
498
00:20:26,712 --> 00:20:28,162
to ask the tough questions,
right?
499
00:20:28,213 --> 00:20:29,747
Why are you writing this down?
500
00:20:29,832 --> 00:20:31,165
Okay, what's the key
to a dramatic scene?
501
00:20:31,216 --> 00:20:32,333
Finding the emotion.
502
00:20:32,384 --> 00:20:34,085
Connecting
with your scene partner.
503
00:20:34,169 --> 00:20:35,920
Oh, no, no and no.
504
00:20:36,004 --> 00:20:38,256
The key to a dramatic scene
is pointing.
505
00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:40,224
When people are
really emotional,
506
00:20:40,309 --> 00:20:43,060
they point their fingers a lot.
507
00:20:43,145 --> 00:20:44,762
That's not true
at all.
508
00:20:44,847 --> 00:20:46,213
That's... that's
terrible advice.
509
00:20:46,265 --> 00:20:48,983
Excuse me, guys, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Blaine.
510
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:50,735
Are you an internationally
beloved spokesman
511
00:20:50,819 --> 00:20:53,437
for the Internet's fastest-
growing credit score Web site?
512
00:20:53,522 --> 00:20:54,772
No.
513
00:20:54,857 --> 00:20:56,557
I didn't think so.
514
00:20:56,608 --> 00:20:58,726
So let's focus in, okay?
I'm here for you.
515
00:20:58,777 --> 00:21:00,328
I don't normally do this,
516
00:21:00,395 --> 00:21:02,413
but because you're in brother's
class and you guys are so nice,
517
00:21:02,498 --> 00:21:04,031
I'm gonna give you some
Level II stuff.
518
00:21:11,907 --> 00:21:13,841
The secret to great acting,
519
00:21:13,909 --> 00:21:15,476
great acting:
520
00:21:15,544 --> 00:21:19,430
ignoring whatever
the other actor is doing.
521
00:21:19,515 --> 00:21:23,134
Eye contact with a scene partner
is incredibly distracting.
522
00:21:23,218 --> 00:21:24,852
I try to tune them out entirely.
523
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,103
Sometimes I wear earplugs.
524
00:21:26,188 --> 00:21:27,939
That way, I don't get distracted
by what
525
00:21:28,023 --> 00:21:32,760
they're doing, and I can focus
on the awesome acting choices
526
00:21:32,811 --> 00:21:34,094
I've planned ahead of time.
527
00:21:34,146 --> 00:21:35,730
Like eating
a roast beef sandwich, right?
528
00:21:35,781 --> 00:21:38,432
Other choices I can plan
ahead of time:
529
00:21:38,483 --> 00:21:39,734
screaming all my lines!
530
00:21:39,785 --> 00:21:41,936
Because I'm really intense.
531
00:21:41,987 --> 00:21:43,771
And the things
I'm feeling are really intense!
532
00:21:43,822 --> 00:21:45,072
Because I'm an intense actor!
533
00:21:46,041 --> 00:21:48,609
Nicholas Cage, right?!
534
00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:51,278
Yeah, yeah!
Whoo!
535
00:21:52,447 --> 00:21:53,113
Bravo.
536
00:21:54,883 --> 00:21:57,385
All right, guys, I don't want
you to go cray-cray,
537
00:21:57,452 --> 00:22:01,121
but I brought in "sides--"
industry term--
538
00:22:01,173 --> 00:22:03,925
from a little show that
I auditioned for last week...
539
00:22:03,976 --> 00:22:05,292
called NCIS.
540
00:22:05,344 --> 00:22:06,510
What does that stand for?
541
00:22:06,595 --> 00:22:08,062
Oh, my nana loves that show!
542
00:22:09,798 --> 00:22:13,351
Now in this scene, Agent Sciuto
has just discovered a dead body.
543
00:22:13,435 --> 00:22:15,135
Who knows what will unfold?
544
00:22:15,187 --> 00:22:16,437
Don't look at each other.
Action.
545
00:22:16,488 --> 00:22:17,638
Here's what we know.
546
00:22:17,706 --> 00:22:19,106
Sergeant Pembroke
took a bullet
547
00:22:19,157 --> 00:22:20,324
at point-blank range.
What we don't know
548
00:22:20,409 --> 00:22:21,943
is why he's wearing a dress.
549
00:22:21,994 --> 00:22:23,411
There's a rumor that Sergeant
Pembroke was a transvestite.
550
00:22:23,478 --> 00:22:24,812
No, Blaine, say
the line again,
551
00:22:24,863 --> 00:22:26,197
but this time,
point your finger.
552
00:22:26,281 --> 00:22:27,815
Things are serious; a
man in a dress is dead.
553
00:22:27,866 --> 00:22:29,000
I don't really
feel like pointing, Coop.
554
00:22:29,084 --> 00:22:30,618
Just feels a little stupid.
555
00:22:30,669 --> 00:22:32,653
Well, when a choice feels wrong,
it's actually a good sign.
556
00:22:32,704 --> 00:22:34,088
It means you're right
on the edge, man.
557
00:22:34,155 --> 00:22:35,923
See, I don't know about that.
I feel like when a choice...
558
00:22:37,426 --> 00:22:39,093
Coop, you're my brother!
559
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,462
Can't you just support me?
560
00:22:43,015 --> 00:22:45,633
I'm sorry, are you
talking to me right now?
561
00:22:45,684 --> 00:22:47,351
Because I can't tell
if you're talking to me
562
00:22:47,436 --> 00:22:49,353
if you don't
point your finger.
563
00:22:49,438 --> 00:22:50,771
Right?
564
00:22:50,839 --> 00:22:53,024
That is lesson number one,
guys, right?
565
00:22:53,108 --> 00:22:54,475
Scene. Scene. Scene.
566
00:22:54,526 --> 00:22:55,559
Good work, buddy.
567
00:22:55,644 --> 00:22:56,644
We'll get 'em
next time.
568
00:22:56,695 --> 00:22:58,229
Let's go! Whoo!
Let's move on
569
00:22:58,313 --> 00:23:00,865
to a little acting exercise
that I like to call
570
00:23:00,949 --> 00:23:02,700
The Emotion Tornado.
571
00:23:02,784 --> 00:23:04,118
Get your hands
up to the sky...
572
00:23:05,570 --> 00:23:07,655
Just a busted control
panel, Mrs. Tennison.
573
00:23:07,706 --> 00:23:08,706
Nothing too serious.
574
00:23:08,790 --> 00:23:10,024
You're a lifesaver.
575
00:23:10,075 --> 00:23:11,191
Noah told me
you're going
576
00:23:11,243 --> 00:23:12,243
into business together.
577
00:23:12,327 --> 00:23:14,578
No, I said we were
thinking about it.
578
00:23:14,663 --> 00:23:15,830
Well, I think it's a great idea.
579
00:23:15,881 --> 00:23:17,031
And if you need any investors,
580
00:23:17,082 --> 00:23:18,916
I'd love to be a
silent partner.
581
00:23:19,001 --> 00:23:20,868
Or a noisy one.
582
00:23:25,657 --> 00:23:27,775
In California,
she's considered ugly.
583
00:23:29,978 --> 00:23:32,747
Dude, I'm not going to L.A.
584
00:23:32,814 --> 00:23:34,115
Okay, end of discussion.
585
00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:36,283
Let me just say this,
and I'll shut up forever.
586
00:23:36,335 --> 00:23:37,918
If getting hitched
is a team effort,
587
00:23:37,986 --> 00:23:39,319
why are you the one that's
always giving up everything?
588
00:23:39,371 --> 00:23:40,487
Maybe it's time
for Rachel to start
589
00:23:40,539 --> 00:23:41,505
thinking about you
for a change.
590
00:23:41,590 --> 00:23:42,823
It's not like
you're asking her
591
00:23:42,874 --> 00:23:44,091
to sacrifice her career.
592
00:23:44,159 --> 00:23:45,376
You heard Blaine's
famous brother.
593
00:23:45,460 --> 00:23:47,128
L.A. is where it's at.
594
00:23:47,179 --> 00:23:48,328
Rachel could probably
get on TV,
595
00:23:48,380 --> 00:23:49,663
play the quirky
next-door girl or whatever.
596
00:23:49,715 --> 00:23:51,382
And you could
try acting, too.
597
00:23:51,466 --> 00:23:53,851
Or go to college.
This could be your day job.
598
00:23:53,935 --> 00:23:55,770
You spend so much time
thinking only about her.
599
00:23:55,837 --> 00:23:58,305
Take a couple seconds
and think about yourself.
600
00:24:03,127 --> 00:24:04,294
I can barely focus.
601
00:24:04,378 --> 00:24:05,879
The thought of a boy
clinging to my insides
602
00:24:05,946 --> 00:24:07,464
is making me even more nauseous.
603
00:24:07,548 --> 00:24:09,749
Sue, maybe you should wait to
find out the sex of the baby.
604
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,134
Besides, boys aren't
so bad anyway.
605
00:24:11,218 --> 00:24:12,752
They're disgusting.
606
00:24:12,803 --> 00:24:14,337
They have terrible aim when
peeing, they're weak-minded,
607
00:24:14,422 --> 00:24:16,056
and when will someone
give me a straight answer
608
00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:17,223
as to why they have nipples?
609
00:24:17,291 --> 00:24:18,291
Sue Sylvester.
610
00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:22,295
Right this way, please.
611
00:24:24,515 --> 00:24:26,066
I'm sorry,
is this the father?
612
00:24:26,133 --> 00:24:27,317
Uh, no, no.
God, no.
613
00:24:27,401 --> 00:24:29,853
Uh, these are...
these are my friends.
614
00:24:29,937 --> 00:24:31,104
Mm-hmm.
615
00:24:31,155 --> 00:24:32,805
Sounds so weird coming
out of my mouth.
616
00:24:32,857 --> 00:24:34,807
Here for moral support?
Yes, exactly.
617
00:24:34,859 --> 00:24:36,743
Anything you have to say to me,
you can say in front of them.
618
00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:38,111
Okay.
619
00:24:38,162 --> 00:24:40,113
Well, looking at
your test results,
620
00:24:40,164 --> 00:24:41,981
your baby is a girl.
621
00:24:42,033 --> 00:24:42,982
Yes! Ah! A girl!
622
00:24:43,034 --> 00:24:44,150
Come on, now.
623
00:24:44,201 --> 00:24:45,285
There we go.
624
00:24:45,336 --> 00:24:46,319
Oh, my toilet
seats are spared.
625
00:24:46,370 --> 00:24:48,654
However...
626
00:24:49,707 --> 00:24:51,091
However?
627
00:24:51,158 --> 00:24:54,160
Your amnio came back
with irregularities.
628
00:24:58,499 --> 00:25:00,300
So, Coop, have you met
George Clooney? Not yet.
629
00:25:00,351 --> 00:25:01,718
But I have had sex
630
00:25:01,802 --> 00:25:03,937
with the Progressive
Insurance lady. Perfect.
631
00:25:04,004 --> 00:25:05,221
Don't be a stranger,
all right?
632
00:25:05,306 --> 00:25:06,973
Follow me on Twitter.
All right.
633
00:25:07,024 --> 00:25:07,941
Tweet me.
634
00:25:08,008 --> 00:25:10,026
Yeah!
635
00:25:10,111 --> 00:25:11,728
Ask me why I am
so happy, Squirt.
636
00:25:11,812 --> 00:25:12,979
Don't call me that.
637
00:25:13,030 --> 00:25:14,531
My life just
completely changed.
638
00:25:14,615 --> 00:25:16,866
I just got an audition
for a Michael Bay movie.
639
00:25:16,951 --> 00:25:18,118
Oh, that's great.
640
00:25:18,185 --> 00:25:19,786
Hello? Did you hear me?
Michael freakin' Bay.
641
00:25:19,853 --> 00:25:21,287
The movie's untitled,
642
00:25:21,355 --> 00:25:24,874
which you know is code
for Transformers 4.
643
00:25:24,959 --> 00:25:26,543
You don't seem
very happy for me.
644
00:25:26,627 --> 00:25:27,693
Oh, I'm thrilled.
645
00:25:27,745 --> 00:25:29,162
Well, you got
a weird way of showing it.
646
00:25:29,213 --> 00:25:30,580
It wouldn't
kill you to smile.
647
00:25:30,664 --> 00:25:32,365
Also wouldn't kill you
to stop letting Kurt
648
00:25:32,416 --> 00:25:33,383
pick out your clothes.
649
00:25:33,467 --> 00:25:34,417
He d-does not.
650
00:25:34,502 --> 00:25:35,718
Mm-hmm, could've fooled me.
651
00:25:35,803 --> 00:25:37,087
Come on, man,
we'll have our own ditch day.
652
00:25:37,171 --> 00:25:38,638
You can help me run lines.
653
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:41,424
It's all about
you, isn't it?
654
00:25:41,509 --> 00:25:44,427
Well, you know what, big
brother, I'm sick of it.
655
00:25:44,512 --> 00:25:46,479
And I'm not going
to take it anymore.
656
00:25:47,898 --> 00:25:49,265
Huh.
657
00:25:49,350 --> 00:25:51,050
♪ After all
you put me through ♪
658
00:25:51,102 --> 00:25:52,719
♪ You think I'd despise you
659
00:25:52,787 --> 00:25:54,237
♪ But in the end
660
00:25:54,321 --> 00:25:56,189
♪ I want to thank you
661
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:57,907
♪ 'Cause you made me
that much stronger ♪
662
00:25:57,992 --> 00:26:00,243
♪ Well, I thought I knew you
663
00:26:00,327 --> 00:26:03,062
♪ Thinking that you were true
664
00:26:03,114 --> 00:26:06,065
♪ Guess I, I couldn't trust,
called your bluff ♪
665
00:26:06,117 --> 00:26:08,067
♪ Time is up
'cause I've had enough ♪
666
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,403
♪ You were there by my side
667
00:26:10,454 --> 00:26:13,256
♪ Always down for the ride
668
00:26:13,340 --> 00:26:16,009
♪ But your joy ride
just came down in flames ♪
669
00:26:16,076 --> 00:26:18,911
♪ 'Cause your greed sold me out
in shame, mm-hmm ♪
670
00:26:18,963 --> 00:26:21,080
♪ After all of the stealing
and cheating ♪
671
00:26:21,132 --> 00:26:25,051
♪ You probably think
that I hold resentment for you ♪
672
00:26:25,102 --> 00:26:29,055
♪ But uh-uh,
no, no, no, you're wrong ♪
673
00:26:29,106 --> 00:26:31,858
♪ 'Cause if it wasn't for all
that you tried to do ♪
674
00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:36,279
♪ I wouldn't know just how
capable I am to pull through ♪
675
00:26:36,363 --> 00:26:38,731
♪ So I want to say thank you
676
00:26:38,782 --> 00:26:41,367
♪ 'Cause it makes me
that much stronger ♪
677
00:26:41,435 --> 00:26:43,736
♪ Makes me work
a little bit harder ♪
678
00:26:43,787 --> 00:26:46,739
♪ It makes me that much wiser
679
00:26:46,790 --> 00:26:49,108
♪ So thanks for
making me a fighter ♪
680
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,161
♪ Made me learn
a little bit faster ♪
681
00:26:51,245 --> 00:26:54,247
♪ Made my skin
a little bit thicker ♪
682
00:26:54,298 --> 00:26:56,949
♪ Makes me that much smarter
683
00:26:57,001 --> 00:26:59,335
♪ So thanks for making me
a fighter ♪
684
00:26:59,420 --> 00:27:02,305
♪ How could this man
I thought I knew ♪
685
00:27:02,389 --> 00:27:04,957
♪ Turn out to be unjust
so cruel? ♪
686
00:27:05,009 --> 00:27:07,427
♪ Could only see
the good in you ♪
687
00:27:07,478 --> 00:27:09,729
♪ Pretended not to see
the truth ♪
688
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:13,016
♪ You tried to hide your lies,
disguise yourself ♪
689
00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:14,984
♪ Through living in denial
690
00:27:15,069 --> 00:27:16,936
♪ But in the end, you'll see
691
00:27:16,987 --> 00:27:19,606
♪ You won't stop me
692
00:27:19,657 --> 00:27:22,525
♪ I am a fighter and I
693
00:27:22,610 --> 00:27:25,144
♪ I ain't gonna stop
♪ I ain't gonna stop ♪
694
00:27:25,196 --> 00:27:26,829
♪ There ain't no turning back
695
00:27:26,914 --> 00:27:30,033
♪ I've had enough
696
00:27:30,117 --> 00:27:32,502
♪ Makes me that much stronger ♪
697
00:27:32,586 --> 00:27:35,371
♪ Makes me work a little bit harder ♪
♪ Oh
698
00:27:35,456 --> 00:27:38,324
♪ Makes me that much wiser ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
699
00:27:38,375 --> 00:27:40,593
♪ Thanks for making me a fighter ♪
♪ Fighter
700
00:27:40,661 --> 00:27:43,046
♪ Makes me that much stronger ♪
♪ Oh, oh
701
00:27:43,130 --> 00:27:45,515
♪ Makes me work a little bit harder ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
702
00:27:45,599 --> 00:27:47,850
♪ Makes me that much wiser ♪
♪ Wiser
703
00:27:47,935 --> 00:27:50,019
♪ So thanks for making me
a fighter ♪
704
00:27:50,104 --> 00:27:52,338
♪ Made me learn
a little bit faster ♪
705
00:27:52,389 --> 00:27:55,174
♪ Made my skin
a little bit thicker ♪
706
00:27:55,226 --> 00:27:57,977
♪ Makes me that much smarter
707
00:27:58,028 --> 00:28:01,114
♪ So thanks for making me
a fighter. ♪
708
00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:04,850
Oh! Dude, watch it!
Whoa, sorry.
709
00:28:04,902 --> 00:28:06,236
My toes.
I'm sorry, man.
710
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:07,820
Hey.
711
00:28:07,871 --> 00:28:09,689
What were you doing?
712
00:28:09,740 --> 00:28:10,790
Uh, texting...
Texting while walking.
713
00:28:10,857 --> 00:28:12,375
That's exactly
how I started.
714
00:28:12,459 --> 00:28:14,210
Well, I don't usually text
while... Think about it.
715
00:28:14,295 --> 00:28:16,379
You know, luckily enough,
the guy that crashed into me
716
00:28:16,463 --> 00:28:18,631
while I was texting is fine,
but, you know, I...
717
00:28:18,699 --> 00:28:19,682
Okay.
You should really
718
00:28:19,750 --> 00:28:21,200
not do that anymore.
719
00:28:21,252 --> 00:28:22,368
No more texting, okay?
720
00:28:22,419 --> 00:28:23,753
Well, unless
I'm in class
721
00:28:23,837 --> 00:28:26,172
or, you know, on the toilet
or at a movie or something.
722
00:28:26,223 --> 00:28:27,473
Thank you.
723
00:28:27,541 --> 00:28:28,808
What's going on?
724
00:28:28,875 --> 00:28:30,760
Oh, well,
that's funny you're here.
725
00:28:30,844 --> 00:28:32,262
I was just, uh,
726
00:28:32,346 --> 00:28:34,180
confirming the ditch day
amusement park ticket order...
727
00:28:34,231 --> 00:28:35,381
Oh, count us out.
728
00:28:35,432 --> 00:28:36,816
What? Why?
729
00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:40,069
Because we have a super special
senior ditch day planned,
730
00:28:40,154 --> 00:28:41,187
Artie Abrams style.
731
00:28:41,238 --> 00:28:42,488
Isn't that right, Artie?
732
00:28:42,556 --> 00:28:43,690
That's right.
733
00:28:50,550 --> 00:28:52,301
Do you think just
because you stand there
734
00:28:52,352 --> 00:28:55,003
quietly mouth breathing and
reeking from this morning's
735
00:28:55,054 --> 00:28:58,140
maple-y toaster pastries that
you're not interrupting me?
736
00:28:58,191 --> 00:29:00,309
What do you want, Jackson?
Spit it out.
737
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,060
I heard about your baby.
738
00:29:05,231 --> 00:29:06,198
You did?
739
00:29:06,282 --> 00:29:07,366
Yeah.
740
00:29:07,450 --> 00:29:10,152
I heard you're having
a baby girl.
741
00:29:10,203 --> 00:29:12,120
Yeah.
742
00:29:12,188 --> 00:29:13,205
Just like you.
743
00:29:13,289 --> 00:29:14,323
Come here.
744
00:29:14,374 --> 00:29:17,926
Just like you.
745
00:29:17,994 --> 00:29:19,328
Dang, Coach.
746
00:29:19,379 --> 00:29:21,029
Don't start lactating.
747
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,665
Can I give you
a parenting tip?
748
00:29:23,716 --> 00:29:26,084
Sure.
749
00:29:26,169 --> 00:29:28,804
Try to work on your patience.
750
00:29:41,684 --> 00:29:43,218
You gonna tell me
what we're doing here?
751
00:29:43,269 --> 00:29:44,319
Just follow me.
It's up here.
752
00:29:46,555 --> 00:29:48,156
What is this?
753
00:29:48,224 --> 00:29:50,325
This is where we go to play
on Senior Ditch Day.
754
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,494
Or, as I like to call it,
CripSkip.
755
00:29:52,561 --> 00:29:53,945
Artie! What's happening?!
756
00:29:54,030 --> 00:29:55,280
'Sup, Mickey?
757
00:29:55,365 --> 00:29:56,915
I don't think
I'm ready for this.
758
00:29:56,999 --> 00:29:58,750
Yeah, you are.
Just trust me.
759
00:29:58,835 --> 00:30:01,236
♪ Oh, we up, up, up
for the glow show ♪
760
00:30:02,622 --> 00:30:04,289
♪ Yeah, we down, down here
on the ground ♪
761
00:30:04,374 --> 00:30:06,458
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up,
up above love ♪
762
00:30:06,542 --> 00:30:08,760
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up
through the clouds ♪
763
00:30:08,845 --> 00:30:11,847
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
764
00:30:14,133 --> 00:30:15,350
Come on, come
on, come on.
765
00:30:15,418 --> 00:30:19,187
♪ You're gonna find a way-ay
766
00:30:19,255 --> 00:30:22,641
♪ Find a way-ay to be
767
00:30:25,027 --> 00:30:28,530
♪ You're gonna get yourself
aligned with your old man ♪
768
00:30:28,597 --> 00:30:30,598
♪ You're gonna get it free
769
00:30:30,650 --> 00:30:32,734
♪ You're gonna
get it free, yeah ♪
770
00:30:32,785 --> 00:30:35,737
♪ 'Cause it's the way-ay-ay
now ♪
771
00:30:35,788 --> 00:30:38,073
♪ Way-ay-ay to see
772
00:30:40,776 --> 00:30:45,380
♪ But it's inside and out
with no doubt ♪
773
00:30:45,448 --> 00:30:49,418
♪ It's in everything,
it's in everything ♪
774
00:30:49,469 --> 00:30:51,336
♪ Oh, we up, up, up
for the glow show ♪
775
00:30:51,421 --> 00:30:53,621
♪ Yeah, we down, down here
on the ground ♪
776
00:30:53,673 --> 00:30:55,841
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up,
up above love ♪
777
00:30:55,925 --> 00:30:58,093
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up
through the clouds ♪
778
00:30:58,144 --> 00:31:01,346
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
779
00:31:01,431 --> 00:31:04,483
♪ You're gonna
find your way-ay ♪
780
00:31:04,567 --> 00:31:06,351
♪ Find your way-ay to be
781
00:31:08,971 --> 00:31:13,742
♪ Hey, you're gonna get yourself
aligned with your spine ♪
782
00:31:13,809 --> 00:31:16,027
♪ And you'll get it free
783
00:31:16,112 --> 00:31:17,329
♪ You'll get it free
784
00:31:17,413 --> 00:31:20,982
♪ It's the way-ay-ay now
785
00:31:21,033 --> 00:31:24,085
♪ Way-ay-ay to see
786
00:31:26,372 --> 00:31:29,657
♪ Well, in the moment,
it comes and it goes ♪
787
00:31:29,709 --> 00:31:32,160
♪ Yeah, it's in everything
788
00:31:32,211 --> 00:31:34,880
♪ It's in everything
789
00:31:34,964 --> 00:31:36,765
♪ We up, up, up
for the glow show ♪
790
00:31:36,832 --> 00:31:38,666
♪ Yeah, we down, down here
on the ground ♪
791
00:31:38,718 --> 00:31:40,302
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up,
up above love ♪
792
00:31:40,353 --> 00:31:42,938
♪ Yeah, we up, up, up
through the clouds ♪
793
00:31:43,005 --> 00:31:46,558
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
794
00:31:46,642 --> 00:31:51,112
♪ Yeah, we up,
yeah, we up ♪
795
00:31:51,180 --> 00:31:51,846
Whoo!
796
00:31:54,867 --> 00:31:56,451
Whoo!
797
00:31:59,205 --> 00:32:02,023
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
798
00:32:03,543 --> 00:32:06,361
♪ Yeah, we up, yeah, we up
799
00:32:08,581 --> 00:32:11,116
♪ Whoo!
800
00:32:12,752 --> 00:32:13,969
Thank you.
801
00:32:14,036 --> 00:32:16,004
This was a really great
Senior Ditch Day.
802
00:32:16,055 --> 00:32:17,472
You were right.
I just wanted you
803
00:32:17,540 --> 00:32:18,890
to meet a cool
group of people
804
00:32:18,975 --> 00:32:21,709
having a great time in
the same situation as you.
805
00:32:21,761 --> 00:32:25,096
Yeah, but I'm not...
806
00:32:25,181 --> 00:32:26,548
This is only temporary.
807
00:32:26,599 --> 00:32:28,650
The doctor said
it's a matter of time before...
808
00:32:28,717 --> 00:32:29,884
Look, I've been
where you are.
809
00:32:29,936 --> 00:32:31,069
I know how it feels,
810
00:32:31,153 --> 00:32:32,521
but you can't keep denying...
811
00:32:32,572 --> 00:32:34,105
I'm not denying anything.
812
00:32:34,190 --> 00:32:35,440
You're not me.
813
00:32:35,525 --> 00:32:36,891
Okay?
814
00:32:36,943 --> 00:32:38,844
I'm not like you.
This isn't my life.
815
00:32:38,911 --> 00:32:41,229
I'm going to Yale,
I'm getting out of Lima,
816
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,064
and I'm going to walk again.
817
00:32:43,115 --> 00:32:44,416
And what if you don't?
818
00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:46,067
When are you going
to stop pretending
819
00:32:46,118 --> 00:32:47,869
that this isn't really
happening to you?
820
00:32:55,895 --> 00:32:57,729
No, no.
821
00:32:57,796 --> 00:33:00,515
Maybe you should
request a lower locker.
822
00:33:00,599 --> 00:33:02,133
Could be easier.
823
00:33:02,184 --> 00:33:04,486
No. This has always
been my locker
824
00:33:04,570 --> 00:33:07,856
and will continue to be
until I walk across that stage
825
00:33:07,940 --> 00:33:09,691
in my cap and gown
and get my diploma.
826
00:33:09,775 --> 00:33:11,409
I gotta get to class.
827
00:33:11,477 --> 00:33:12,360
Can I walk with you?
828
00:33:13,529 --> 00:33:15,030
I've been praying for you.
829
00:33:15,114 --> 00:33:18,500
Well, guess it could help for
God to hear from a few people.
830
00:33:18,584 --> 00:33:21,202
I've been praying to walk again,
as well.
831
00:33:21,287 --> 00:33:23,922
Oh, I don't pray
for you to walk.
832
00:33:23,989 --> 00:33:26,374
I ask God to help you accept
whatever your journey may be.
833
00:33:26,459 --> 00:33:30,045
I appreciate your prayers--
I do--
834
00:33:30,129 --> 00:33:32,097
but when you're done praying,
835
00:33:32,164 --> 00:33:34,832
you get to get up off your knees
and walk away.
836
00:33:38,437 --> 00:33:39,888
Sorry.
837
00:33:39,972 --> 00:33:41,973
Self-obsessed bitch.
838
00:33:42,024 --> 00:33:43,308
It's cool.
839
00:33:46,362 --> 00:33:48,346
You know what...
840
00:33:48,397 --> 00:33:50,031
you're really inspiring.
841
00:33:50,116 --> 00:33:52,317
And I feel like you've
been inspiring to a
842
00:33:52,368 --> 00:33:53,735
few other people I know.
843
00:33:53,819 --> 00:33:55,153
What are you doing after school
today?
844
00:33:56,655 --> 00:33:59,290
All right, fair warning:
in the glorious history of
845
00:33:59,358 --> 00:34:01,292
Booty Camp,
this will be the toughest!
846
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,911
But first, Quinn's
got the floor.
847
00:34:02,995 --> 00:34:04,662
I invited a friend to join us.
848
00:34:04,713 --> 00:34:06,297
You met him on Valentine's Day.
849
00:34:06,365 --> 00:34:08,583
Teen Jesus!
He's got a killer voice.
850
00:34:08,667 --> 00:34:10,635
Whoo!
Okay, all right.
851
00:34:10,702 --> 00:34:12,370
Welcome to the New Directions.
852
00:34:12,421 --> 00:34:14,422
Hey, dude, you have
a twig in your hair.
853
00:34:14,507 --> 00:34:15,557
No, seriously.
854
00:34:15,641 --> 00:34:18,309
Okay.
Thanks, bro.
855
00:34:18,377 --> 00:34:20,178
Let's give our undivided
attention to Coach Sue.
856
00:34:21,564 --> 00:34:24,766
First off, please don't ask me
which celebrity is the father
857
00:34:24,850 --> 00:34:26,401
of my baby. Please.
858
00:34:26,485 --> 00:34:29,053
I will release that information
once I've finalized my book
859
00:34:29,105 --> 00:34:30,405
and movie deal.
860
00:34:30,489 --> 00:34:33,491
Now, it has come to my attention
that I have been a tad
861
00:34:33,559 --> 00:34:36,244
harsh with some of you.
862
00:34:36,328 --> 00:34:38,113
I thought I was being kind.
863
00:34:38,197 --> 00:34:40,615
For instance,
I said absolutely nothing
864
00:34:40,699 --> 00:34:42,951
about the implausible
sexual tension
865
00:34:43,035 --> 00:34:45,086
between Mercedes and the
Kentucky Fried Stripper.
866
00:34:45,171 --> 00:34:48,239
Or the sorry fact that you
wasted untold millions
867
00:34:48,290 --> 00:34:51,259
on a laser show for yourselves
just so Sandbags could dance
868
00:34:51,343 --> 00:34:53,294
with the night school's
Polynesian janitor.
869
00:34:53,379 --> 00:34:54,929
Actually, he was
Puerto Rican.
870
00:34:55,014 --> 00:34:58,133
Kids, it's in my DNA
to be intense, okay,
871
00:34:58,217 --> 00:35:01,102
just like it's in Porcelain's
DNA to poop rainbow glitter.
872
00:35:01,187 --> 00:35:03,855
Now, I'll admit
I-I behaved badly.
873
00:35:03,922 --> 00:35:05,690
I also realized something.
874
00:35:05,757 --> 00:35:08,977
I am here
for two very important reasons.
875
00:35:09,061 --> 00:35:11,429
Number one: Mr. Schuester needs
at least one adult friend.
876
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,198
And number two:
877
00:35:13,265 --> 00:35:17,785
I am hoping that the miraculous
life growing inside of me
878
00:35:17,870 --> 00:35:22,157
can soak up some of your
constantly annoying,
879
00:35:22,241 --> 00:35:26,961
though admittedly laudable,
optimism and decency.
880
00:35:30,799 --> 00:35:32,250
Now, I promise to be nicer
881
00:35:32,301 --> 00:35:35,336
if you promise to work your
talented little butts off
882
00:35:35,421 --> 00:35:37,805
until they hand you that
first-place trophy in Chicago.
883
00:35:37,890 --> 00:35:39,757
All right, sloppy babies,
884
00:35:39,808 --> 00:35:42,260
let's take it from the top.
885
00:35:42,311 --> 00:35:44,262
Five, six, seven, eight!
886
00:35:45,347 --> 00:35:47,465
Hello.
887
00:35:47,516 --> 00:35:49,851
I'm Margaret Thatcher Dog.
888
00:35:49,935 --> 00:35:52,737
My relationship with
the Queen was ruff!
889
00:35:54,139 --> 00:35:55,907
Oh, look what Finn won
you playing skeeball.
890
00:35:55,974 --> 00:35:57,475
Finn won this?
891
00:35:57,526 --> 00:35:59,444
Yeah. Well, Rachel kept making
him win stuffed animals for her,
892
00:35:59,495 --> 00:36:01,746
and at the end of the
day, out of the 14
893
00:36:01,813 --> 00:36:05,116
she had, I confiscated this
little guy to give to you.
894
00:36:05,167 --> 00:36:07,368
Since there was no
convincing you coming with us.
895
00:36:07,453 --> 00:36:09,837
I would've just
brought you guys down.
896
00:36:09,922 --> 00:36:13,208
Look, I get it:
family stuff is hard,
897
00:36:13,292 --> 00:36:14,592
especially between brothers.
898
00:36:14,660 --> 00:36:17,045
I mean, Finn and I
are not even real brothers,
899
00:36:17,129 --> 00:36:18,963
and we pretty much
disagree on everything,
900
00:36:19,014 --> 00:36:20,831
but I love the big lug.
901
00:36:20,883 --> 00:36:24,352
And at the end of the day,
we're in each other's corners.
902
00:36:24,436 --> 00:36:26,271
You only get one
brother, Blaine.
903
00:36:26,338 --> 00:36:27,388
Don't give up on that.
904
00:36:27,473 --> 00:36:28,723
He's the one that's leaving.
905
00:36:28,807 --> 00:36:30,174
Huge audition,
you didn't hear about it?
906
00:36:30,226 --> 00:36:32,009
Actually, he hasn't left yet.
907
00:36:32,061 --> 00:36:33,945
He's in the auditorium,
908
00:36:34,012 --> 00:36:35,513
hoping that you'll come
and talk to him.
909
00:36:35,564 --> 00:36:37,448
I've tried talking to him.
910
00:36:37,516 --> 00:36:39,350
Doesn't... doesn't really
work with him.
911
00:36:39,401 --> 00:36:41,819
Maybe talking is not the answer.
912
00:36:41,870 --> 00:36:43,821
Maybe you need
to show him
913
00:36:43,872 --> 00:36:48,159
how you really feel in the best,
most honest way you know how.
914
00:37:00,806 --> 00:37:05,876
♪ Now and then I think of
when we were together ♪
915
00:37:07,930 --> 00:37:14,085
♪ Like when you said you felt
so happy, you could die ♪
916
00:37:16,221 --> 00:37:19,357
♪ So when we found
that we could not make sense ♪
917
00:37:19,408 --> 00:37:22,727
♪ Well, you said that we would
still be friends ♪
918
00:37:22,795 --> 00:37:27,181
♪ But I'll admit that I was glad
it was over ♪
919
00:37:30,502 --> 00:37:34,088
♪ But you didn't have
to cut me off ♪
920
00:37:34,173 --> 00:37:36,291
♪ Make out like
it never happened ♪
921
00:37:36,375 --> 00:37:38,042
♪ And that we were nothing
922
00:37:38,093 --> 00:37:41,095
♪ And I don't even
need your love ♪
923
00:37:41,180 --> 00:37:43,047
♪ But you treat me
like a stranger ♪
924
00:37:43,115 --> 00:37:44,465
♪ And that feels so rough
925
00:37:44,550 --> 00:37:48,770
♪ No, you didn't have
to stoop so low ♪
926
00:37:48,854 --> 00:37:51,105
♪ Have your friends
collect your records ♪
927
00:37:51,190 --> 00:37:53,257
♪ And then change your number
928
00:37:53,309 --> 00:37:56,260
♪ Guess that
I don't need that though ♪
929
00:37:56,312 --> 00:37:59,530
♪ Now you're just somebody
that I used to know ♪
930
00:38:04,269 --> 00:38:09,874
♪ Now and then I think of all
the times you screwed me over ♪
931
00:38:09,941 --> 00:38:16,381
♪ But had me believing it was
always something that I'd done ♪
932
00:38:18,784 --> 00:38:22,787
♪ But I don't wanna
live that way ♪
933
00:38:22,838 --> 00:38:26,391
♪ Reading into every word
you say ♪
934
00:38:26,458 --> 00:38:28,626
♪ You said that
you could let it go ♪
935
00:38:28,677 --> 00:38:31,462
♪ And I wouldn't
catch you hung up ♪
936
00:38:31,513 --> 00:38:33,981
♪ On somebody
that you used to know ♪
937
00:38:34,066 --> 00:38:37,134
♪ But you didn't have
to cut me off ♪
938
00:38:37,186 --> 00:38:39,070
♪ Make out like
it never happened ♪
939
00:38:39,137 --> 00:38:41,522
♪ Oh...
♪ And that we were nothing
940
00:38:41,607 --> 00:38:44,475
♪ And I don't even
need your love ♪
941
00:38:44,526 --> 00:38:45,910
♪ But you treat me
like a stranger ♪
942
00:38:45,977 --> 00:38:47,912
♪ And that feels so rough
943
00:38:47,979 --> 00:38:51,582
♪ Oh...
♪ No, you didn't have to stoop so low ♪
944
00:38:51,650 --> 00:38:54,452
♪ Have your friends
collect your records ♪
945
00:38:54,503 --> 00:38:57,004
♪ Oh...
♪ And then change your number
946
00:38:57,089 --> 00:38:59,841
♪ Guess that
I don't need that though ♪
947
00:38:59,925 --> 00:39:02,627
♪ Now you're just somebody
that I used to know ♪
948
00:39:02,678 --> 00:39:04,595
♪ Somebody
949
00:39:04,663 --> 00:39:06,831
♪ That I used to know
950
00:39:06,882 --> 00:39:10,334
♪ Somebody
♪ Now you're just somebody that I used to know ♪
951
00:39:10,386 --> 00:39:11,769
♪ Somebody
952
00:39:11,837 --> 00:39:13,688
♪ That I used to know
953
00:39:13,772 --> 00:39:17,775
♪ Somebody
Now you're just somedy that I used to know ♪
954
00:39:17,843 --> 00:39:19,176
♪ Ooh
955
00:39:19,228 --> 00:39:21,396
♪ I used to know
956
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:25,183
♪ Somebody.
957
00:39:26,652 --> 00:39:28,853
Best you've
ever sounded.
958
00:39:28,904 --> 00:39:31,289
I am tough on you.
959
00:39:31,356 --> 00:39:34,625
This week, maybe, a little
tougher than I should've been,
960
00:39:34,693 --> 00:39:36,894
and I need to apologize
for that.
961
00:39:36,962 --> 00:39:40,548
But it's only because I see--
962
00:39:40,632 --> 00:39:42,383
I've always seen--
963
00:39:42,468 --> 00:39:45,303
how insanely talented you are.
964
00:39:45,370 --> 00:39:48,339
I want you to be as successful
as you can be, Blaine,
965
00:39:48,390 --> 00:39:49,340
and you will be.
966
00:39:49,391 --> 00:39:50,558
You're gonna do it all--
967
00:39:50,642 --> 00:39:54,679
movies, concerts...
Broadway.
968
00:39:54,730 --> 00:39:56,814
Even though it's dead?
969
00:39:56,882 --> 00:39:58,316
You'll resurrect it.
970
00:39:58,383 --> 00:40:00,818
And when I'm in the audience,
watching you,
971
00:40:00,886 --> 00:40:03,220
I want to be able to say,
"That's my kid brother up there.
972
00:40:03,272 --> 00:40:05,656
I helped him get there."
973
00:40:05,724 --> 00:40:07,275
Thanks for saying that, Coop.
974
00:40:07,359 --> 00:40:10,244
And I know you really
mean it, too, because
975
00:40:10,329 --> 00:40:13,114
you weren't pointing your
finger at me or... Okay, okay.
976
00:40:13,198 --> 00:40:16,534
speaking
really loudly
977
00:40:16,585 --> 00:40:18,202
to be intense.
978
00:40:18,253 --> 00:40:20,872
I'm really glad we
could sing together
979
00:40:20,923 --> 00:40:22,740
one last time
before you left
980
00:40:22,791 --> 00:40:24,008
to be Mr. Hollywood.
981
00:40:24,075 --> 00:40:26,677
Actually, my audition
got canceled.
982
00:40:26,745 --> 00:40:29,964
What? I don't know.
Apparently, Michael Bay
983
00:40:30,048 --> 00:40:32,249
just decided to go
in a different direction,
984
00:40:32,301 --> 00:40:33,968
which is industry-speak
985
00:40:34,052 --> 00:40:35,386
for "Thanks, but we found
986
00:40:35,437 --> 00:40:37,271
somebody who's better
and/or hotter."
987
00:40:37,356 --> 00:40:39,357
Okay, first of all,
y-you don't know that.
988
00:40:39,424 --> 00:40:43,110
And second of all,
screw Optimus Prime.
989
00:40:43,195 --> 00:40:45,646
Even though we don't live
in the same town,
990
00:40:45,731 --> 00:40:48,933
and we don't see
each other all the time,
991
00:40:48,984 --> 00:40:50,768
we're not just
brothers, right?
992
00:40:53,155 --> 00:40:55,206
We're friends, too?
993
00:40:55,274 --> 00:41:00,294
That's... exactly what I've
always wanted us to be, Coop.
994
00:41:05,834 --> 00:41:07,785
Hold on a second.
I just, uh,
995
00:41:07,836 --> 00:41:09,787
I want to remember
this emotion
996
00:41:09,838 --> 00:41:12,139
so I can use it
in a scene someday.
997
00:41:12,224 --> 00:41:13,140
You are ridiculous.
998
00:41:13,225 --> 00:41:14,892
You never know, right?
999
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,894
Hey, I want to,
I want to help you.
1000
00:41:16,962 --> 00:41:18,396
I don't want you
to give up on this audition.
1001
00:41:18,463 --> 00:41:20,348
Come on, I got an idea.
Where are we going?
1002
00:41:20,432 --> 00:41:24,301
We are going to put you on tape
so Michael Bay can see
1003
00:41:24,353 --> 00:41:26,187
what real acting is.
1004
00:41:26,271 --> 00:41:27,188
Pointing.
1005
00:41:27,272 --> 00:41:28,272
Nice touch.
1006
00:41:28,323 --> 00:41:30,408
See, I believe that.
1007
00:41:30,475 --> 00:41:32,159
That's why it's
lesson number one.
1008
00:41:32,244 --> 00:41:33,744
Hey.
1009
00:41:33,812 --> 00:41:35,780
So how do you think I did
in Cooper's Master class?
1010
00:41:35,831 --> 00:41:39,483
You made it seem like you
discover dead bodies every day.
1011
00:41:39,535 --> 00:41:41,552
If that was a real part,
you would've got it.
1012
00:41:41,620 --> 00:41:43,871
So the NYADA scout
is gonna be hereoon.
1013
00:41:43,956 --> 00:41:46,707
I'm pretty sure
I'm ready for it.
1014
00:41:46,792 --> 00:41:50,127
Have you ever thought about
what I'm gonna do in New York?
1015
00:41:50,178 --> 00:41:53,497
Well, one thing I know is for certain
is, we'll figure it out together.
1016
00:41:53,549 --> 00:41:55,016
Well, that's really nice,
1017
00:41:55,100 --> 00:41:57,969
but I... I feel like I need
to start thinking seriously
1018
00:41:58,020 --> 00:41:59,720
about what's next for me.
1019
00:41:59,805 --> 00:42:01,171
You ever thought
about California?
1020
00:42:01,223 --> 00:42:02,506
I just, I feel
like there's,
1021
00:42:02,558 --> 00:42:04,892
there's so many more
opportunities for me there.
1022
00:42:04,977 --> 00:42:08,446
And Puck, he's got this really great
pool-cleaning business opportunity.
1023
00:42:08,513 --> 00:42:10,448
And you could audition
for your actor jobs
1024
00:42:10,515 --> 00:42:13,034
and you wouldn't even have
to worry about money,
1025
00:42:13,118 --> 00:42:14,685
because I'd be able
to support you
1026
00:42:14,736 --> 00:42:16,787
you know, as... as your
husband and... Finn...
1027
00:42:16,855 --> 00:42:18,689
what are you doing?
1028
00:42:18,757 --> 00:42:20,207
Well, I'm thinking
about my future.
1029
00:42:20,292 --> 00:42:23,127
I thought it was our future.
1030
00:42:23,194 --> 00:42:24,579
Of course. Of course, it is
1031
00:42:24,663 --> 00:42:25,880
our future,
And...
1032
00:42:25,964 --> 00:42:27,498
but it feels like
1033
00:42:27,549 --> 00:42:29,383
the conversation's
been a little...
1034
00:42:29,468 --> 00:42:30,751
one-sided lately.
1035
00:42:32,387 --> 00:42:34,055
Look, even Blaine's
brother said
1036
00:42:34,139 --> 00:42:35,673
you know, Hollywood is where
you want to go No, I'm not...
1037
00:42:35,724 --> 00:42:37,041
if you want to be famous I'm not...
1038
00:42:37,092 --> 00:42:39,477
as an actress. a
Hollywood actress, okay?
1039
00:42:39,544 --> 00:42:41,812
In New York, New York
is about the work that you do
1040
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,814
and not the work
that you've had done.
1041
00:42:43,882 --> 00:42:46,100
There's no other option
here for me, okay?
1042
00:42:46,184 --> 00:42:47,234
I am Broadway bound.
Right,
1043
00:42:47,319 --> 00:42:48,903
but if I'm going to
be your husband,
1044
00:42:48,987 --> 00:42:50,321
shouldn't I have something
to say about it, too? "If"?
1045
00:42:50,388 --> 00:42:52,156
Just seems like you don't
care about my dreams.
1046
00:42:52,223 --> 00:42:53,107
I care.
Of course I care.
1047
00:42:53,191 --> 00:42:54,492
Right, of course you care
1048
00:42:54,559 --> 00:42:56,160
as long as they don't
interfere with yours.
1049
00:42:56,227 --> 00:42:57,695
Look, I need to
be in New York,
1050
00:42:57,746 --> 00:42:58,929
and I need you with me.
1051
00:42:58,997 --> 00:43:01,699
I can't do this without you.
1052
00:43:01,750 --> 00:43:04,702
I just want you
to be really sure.
1053
00:43:04,753 --> 00:43:06,337
I just want you to
be really sure
1054
00:43:06,404 --> 00:43:07,571
that you're in
love with me
1055
00:43:07,623 --> 00:43:08,956
and not who you
want me to be.