Here's what you missed on Glee.
Nationals is in New York City and everyone's really excited.
Jesse St. James is back in town and he's starting a show choir consulting business.
Two things that I'm great at... show choir and destroying the competition.
New Directions should hire him. A, they really want to win, and B, he's superhandsome.
Terri's back too, and Sue wants the Honey Badger...
to take out the Glee Club before they can get to New York.
And that's what you missed on Glee.
[School Bell Rings] New Directions,
I would like to introduce you to our new show choir consultant,
Jesse St. James.
[Finn] I don't trust this guy.
He's gonna trick us into doing something stupid so his alma mater wins.
I don't need to do much tricking to get you to do something stupid, Finn.
Guys, Jesse is just a consultant. I still make all the calls.
I have all the confidence in the world in you guys.
I just think we could use all the help we can get because... this is it.
We've been working so hard for two years for this moment, and that moment is finally here.
I was talking with Jesse and he agreed we should continue with our successful trend...
of doing original songs for the competition.
I was thinking of doing one group number and one duet.
Rachel and I should sing a duet. We killed it last year at regionals with "Faithfully."
Yeah. It killed us. We lost.
May I? Uh, yeah.
I agree that Rachel should sing lead, but, Finn, I think it's best if you sit this one out.
The fact is, most of the other guys in here are better singers,
and Mike Chang, who can't even sing, can at least dance.
You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop.
You see what I'm talking about? This guy's a jerk! [All Chuckling]
Maybe you could be a little gentler with your advice. Gentle?
Yes. I'm sorry.
I didn't realize we were training for the "Good Try" ribbon at nationals.
I thought we were in it to win the whole thing, and there's only one way we can do that.
- Poison darts? - The Vocal Adrenaline strategy is simple.
Identify your best performer and build the entire performance around them.
- So what does everyone else do? - And who's our star performer?
We're gonna have auditions to find out.
I'm gonna post a sign-up sheet later this afternoon.
Don't you think this is kinda not our style?
Normally I'd agree with you, but this is the big time. I think we should listen to Jesse.
I just don't know what you're so angry about.
Honey Badger, I am lactating with rage!
The Glee Club travels to New York for nationals in one week.
They have purchased airline tickets,
tickets that I would like to screw up.
I asked you to recruit an expert computer hacker, and you bring me this.
Do I get a super villain nickname?
Your nickname is Panda Express.
- But I'm not Chinese. - Neither is the food at Panda Express.
I'm on top of this.
All the official travel for the school goes through the Lima Heights Travel Agency.
All we have to do is e-mail them through Principal Figgins's e-mail account.
So what's the holdup? We don't know his password.
Principal Figgins is an idiot, something America is chock full of.
What is the most common password in America?
1-2-3-4?
- We're in. - Outstanding.
The travel agency sent an e-mail yesterday...
confirming an itinerary with a layover in Chicago before heading on to New York.
Compose an e-mail requesting a flight that's routed through Tripoli.
Tripoli? Wait, isn't that in Libya?
The second that plane touches the tarmac,
they'll be swarmed by armed militants...
Wait. Are we trying to have the Glee Club killed?
Or kidnapped and killed.
[Whispering] Panda... make it so.
Someone really woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.
You have no idea.
[School Bell Rings] Mr. Schuester?
Oh, hey, Becky. I'm Donna Jackson. I'm Becky's mom.
I really need to talk to you.
I wanna be in Glee Club.
Well, that's great, Becky. Can you sing?
Not really. But neither can most of the kids in Glee Club.
- I thought you were having such a good time in the Cheerios. - Sue kicked her off.
Becky, you're off the Cheerios.
I don't want to see you anymore. Is that understood?
Did I do something wrong, Coach?
You heard what I said. I want your pom-poms on my desk by the end of the day.
I... I-I don't know what to say.
Becky's been totally depressed. She hasn't been eating.
Can I please be in Glee Club, Mr. Schue?
I just want to belong.
Becky...
we're a week away from nationals.
I mean, the season is almost over.
I would love for you to join next year.
But for now...
I'm afraid there just isn't a place for you.
Okay. We understand.
Thank you for your time. Yeah.
I hate this school.
You are a terrible person.
Becky was loyal to you, Sue. Cheerios gave her a sense of purpose.
- Then you just rip it away from her for no reason. - I'm going to be honest, Will.
I do have a reason. She reminds me of my sister.
What does that have to do with anything? You love your sister.
I do, William, and she died yesterday.
What?
When we were younger, people always told me Jean wouldn't live very long.
Used to be that people with Down's didn't live past 30.
But then she turned 35...
and then 40,
and when she turned 50 I thought somehow...
we might grow old together.
Last week she got pneumonia.
Doctor said it wasn't bad. They put her on antibiotics.
I was there with her.
I wanted to stay the night,
and she told me to go home.
At 2:00 a.m. I got the call that she had passed away in her sleep.
Sue, I am so sorry.
Would you leave me alone, please?
[School Bell Rings]
[Rachel Thinking] To think, two short years ago...
I was marching down this hall to sign up for Glee Club auditions, and now look at me.
Look at us. Nationals. So much has changed.
I didn't have my bangs, I'd never had a boyfriend,
and I still had a tiny layer of baby fat.
But there's one thing that hasn't changed... my dreams. I'm still going to be a star.
Which means I would kill to get this solo.
Hey, you haven't signed up to be the lead vocalist at nationals.
Santana, Mercedes and Kurt have.
Hey, you're the male lead of this group. Everybody looks to you for guidance.
I don't need nationals to feel better about myself.
We've been working towards this moment for two years now.
And I've been busting my ass to be a better singer and dancer for two years,
and that Jesse kid comes in and wipes out all that hard work in 10 seconds.
My confidence is shot. No, you're really good.
You have to believe me.
Yeah, I'm... I'm Lima good.
Not New York City good.
Rachel, I'm sorry. I'm not auditioning.
[School Bell Rings]
Wow, Will, that's a lot of vests.
Um, okay, let's get started.
So, I've got one box for going with you,
one box for storage and one box for giving away.
I'm not going away forever, Emma.
Rehearsals for April's show start two days after nationals. Opening night is 3 weeks later.
I'm guessing we close that night, then I'm back on a bus,
back to my vest the next day.
Will you stop with all that? You're too afraid to admit that you're leaving, but you are.
That's why you asked me to help pack up your apartment.
That's why we're going through your vests.
Do the kids know?
No way. Can't let anything distract them from the task at hand.
Besides, by the time they get back from summer break, I'll be home.
You are so organized.
Thank you. [Giggles]
Whoa! That one's a keeper.
I wore this the first week of Glee Club.
Mmm. Right.
What about, um... What about this one?
Did you wear this the first time you tried the new coffee machine in the teachers' lounge?
That's the one I was wearing the first time I met you.
Well, you know what? You have to let it all go.
You're following your dreams.
[Sighs]
[Knocking]
Coach Sylvester?
We brought you some flowers and stuff.
We're sorry for your loss.
Put 'em over there with the rest.
There were more arrangements, but I had to throw some out. I'm allergic to pansies.
And I don't mean that as a swipe at either of you.
So...
why'd you bother doing this,
buying me flowers, comforting me...
after I've actively made your life a living hell...
and enjoyed doing it?
We both know what it's like to lose someone really close to you.
I sort of do. My dad died when I was a baby.
Yeah. His dad's dead, and my mom's dead.
So how do you think you can help me? Are you here to tell me how to deal with this?
- Not at all. - 'Cause if I was being honest with you,
Eddie Munster and Herman Munster,
I don't know how to deal with this.
I can't go back into that nursing home and start sorting through Jean's things.
And I won't plan a funeral.
Have you told your mother yet?
As far as I'm concerned, she said her good-byes to us years ago.
If you boys would really like to help me,
you might start by explaining why it was her time and not mine.
She's the sweetest person I ever met.
And as both of you can attest, I'm probably the meanest.
So how come I'm the one still standing here talking to you?
We need to help her. She's overwhelmed, and she needs us to help her.
Seriously? I'd like to put the "fun" back in "funeral" just as much as the next girl.
But why would the Glee Club help Coach Sylvester plan a service?
We're not doing it for Sue. We're doing it for her sister.
Jean is just like us, guys. She's been an outsider and an underdog all of her life.
- We, of all people, should celebrate that. - Can I say something?
When someone dies, yes, it's a tragedy.
But it's also a part of life, and you can't let death put your life on hold.
Now, I don't mean to be blunt, but I don't think you should be planning a funeral...
the same week you should be focusing on the set list for nationals.
Seriously? Y-You're serious?
Actually, yes, I am.
Do you know what Vocal Adrenaline is doing right now?
They're in their third week of 24-hour-a-day rehearsals.
They're on an I.V. Drip. That's how hard they're working.
Do you know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline if someone dies during a number?
They use them as a prop, like Weekend at Bernie's.
No.
Thanks for your input, Jesse, but we're helping Sue with the service for her sister.
Rachel, you said I needed to be more of a leader of this club. Well, here goes.
I'm making the call. We're doing this.
[School Bell Rings]
[Chattering]
Sue. Hold on a second.
Finn and Kurt told me that you agreed to let the Glee Club help out with your sister's funeral.
And I... I just wanted to say that we're honored.
It takes a big person to reach out like that and ask for help.
I didn't ask for help. They volunteered.
And I only agreed on the condition that Frankenteen and Lady Trousers...
help me clean out Jean's room at the nursing home.
They look like they could use the exercise,
and I like the idea of using your Glee Club as unpaid labor.
Sue, I know you're going through a hard time right now, and despite our differences...
I just- I just want you to know that you can lean on me if you need to.
Oh, William, I wouldn't dare lean on you.
So much grease in your hair, I'd probably slide right off.
[School Bell Rings]
I'm not convinced this is the best idea. I don't want the kids to feel like they're losers.
But that's a crucial part of the process.
I took a class at UCLA in judging for reality TV shows,
so I'm totally ready to give feedback that's both blistering and unhelpful.
It was a really good class. I learned a lot.
We're ready for the first contestant.
My name is Santana Lopez, and I will be singing Amy Winehouse's "Back to Black."
♪ He left no time to regret ♪
♪ Kept his lips wet ♪
♪ With his same old safe bet ♪
♪ Me ♪
♪ And my head high ♪
♪ And my tears dry ♪
♪ Get on without my guy ♪
♪ And I tread ♪
♪ A troubled track ♪
♪ My odds are stacked ♪
♪ I go back to black ♪
♪ We only said good-bye with words ♪
♪ I died a hundred times ♪
♪ You go back to her ♪
♪ And I go ♪
♪ Back to ♪
♪ Black ♪
♪ I go back to ♪
♪ We only said good-bye with words ♪
♪ I died a hundred times ♪
♪ You go back to her ♪
♪ And I go ♪
♪ Back to ♪
♪ Black ♪♪
Fantastic, Santana.
Thanks so much for coming in.
That's all you have to say? You spent the entire performance scribbling notes.
Well, if you really must know, I was simply writing down...
that I don't think your performance went very deep into the emotional truth of the song.
Oh. Is that so?
- Well, I happen to have some feedback for you. - Thanks. That's all we'll need.
- I'm about to go all Lima Heights. - Th-Thank you.
Hello, I'm Kurt Hummel, and I'll be singing "Some People" from Gypsy.
Ah, great selection, Kurt. Hit it.
♪ Some people can get a thrill ♪
♪ Knitting sweaters and sitting still ♪
♪ That's okay ♪
♪ For some people ♪
♪ Who don't know they're alive ♪
♪ Some people can thrive and bloom ♪
♪ Living life in the living room ♪
♪ That's perfect for some people ♪
♪ Of one hundred and five ♪
♪ But I ♪
♪ At least gotta try ♪
♪ When I think of all the sights that I gotta see ♪
♪ And all the places I gotta play ♪
♪ All the things that I gotta be at ♪
♪ Come on, Papa, what do you say? ♪
♪ Some people can be content ♪
♪ Playing bingo ♪
♪ And paying rent ♪
♪ That's peachy ♪
♪ For some people ♪
♪ For some ♪
♪ Humdrum people ♪
♪ To be ♪
♪ But some people ♪
♪ Ain't me ♪
♪ I had a dream ♪
♪ A wonderful dream, Papa ♪
♪ Good-bye ♪
♪ To blueberry pie ♪
♪ Good riddance to all the socials I had to go to ♪
♪ All the lodges I had to play ♪
♪ All the Shriners I said hello to ♪
♪ Hey, L.A., I'm coming your way ♪
♪ Some people ♪
♪ Sit on their butts ♪
♪ Got the dream, yeah, but not the guts ♪
♪ That's living ♪
♪ For some people ♪
♪ For some ♪
♪ Humdrum people ♪
♪ I suppose ♪
♪ Well, they can stay and rot ♪
♪ But not Rose ♪♪
[Will] All right. Good job, buddy.
Kurt, you do know...
that song was meant to be sung by a woman, right?
Yes, I'm aware. The Glee Club dealt with that whole boys singing songs meant for girls.
- Oh. - It's kind of old news.
Then you must know that that song was done to great fanfare...
by such Broadway legends as Merman, LuPone, Bernadette.
Those are some awfully big heels to fill, and I'm just not quite sure that you nailed it.
Usually, at this point, the reality show would go to commercial.
Then we would take a five-minute break to regroup and get touch-ups done on our makeup.
So I'm gonna hit the little boys' room. You're doing a great job.
I really think that you should comment more. Don't be shy.
[School Bell Rings]
Jesse St. James totally Jesse St. Sucks.
He said I shouldn't be singing girl songs. I make my living singing girl songs.
I think the winner of four show choir championships...
might be able to give us all some valuable insight.
We know you're in love with him, Rachel, but do you have to be so obvious?
Don't use the fact that Jesse and I once had feelings for each other...
as an excuse for my inevitable win.
Correction. You had feelings for him. He made breakfast on your head.
Look, Jesse and I both appreciate the integrity of show choir too much...
to soil the competition.
He's just gonna vote for whoever is best. That would be me.
You can fight over who's second all you want, because I kicked that song square in the balls.
- I'm so gonna win this thing. - No bother warming up, Rachel.
I'm about to go out there and wrap this thing up like a Christmas present.
♪ Oh, she may get weary ♪
♪ Them young girls, they do get wearied ♪
♪ Wearing ♪
♪ That same old shaggy dress ♪
♪ Y eah ♪
♪ But when she gets weary ♪
♪ Try a little ♪
♪ Tenderness ♪
♪ Oh, baby, mmm ♪
♪ You won't regret it, no ♪
♪ Young girls, they don't forget it ♪
♪ Love is their whole ♪
♪ Happiness, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ But it's all so easy ♪
♪ All you got to do is try ♪
♪ Try a little tenderness ♪
♪ Yeah, all you got to do is, man ♪
♪ Hold her where you want her, squeeze her ♪
♪ Don't tease her, never leave her ♪
♪ Get to her, got to try ♪
♪ Try a little tenderness ♪
[Mouths Word] Wow!
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ Squeeze her, don't tease her ♪
♪ Never leave her ♪
♪ Try, try, try, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Tenderness ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ You got to, you got to, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Rub her gentle, man ♪
♪ Don't bruise her, no, no ♪
♪ You got to love her, tease her, squeeze her, yeah ♪
♪ Try a little tenderness ♪♪
Whoo! Wow, Mercedes! Just... Wow!
Seeing you up there brought me back to the first time you auditioned for Glee Club.
You were great back then, but you were just amazing now.
Thank you for singing that, and thank you for reminding me where we started.
And where we're going to now: Nationals.
Thank you, Mr. Schue. I couldn't have done it without you.
You're not a star. You're just a girl who can really sing.
- Ex-Excuse me? - I don't think you want this badly enough, Mercedes.
- How many times did you practice that song? - Practice?
No, I feel my material, and I sing with emotion.
I'm in the moment, Mr. St. James. I don't need to practice.
[Scoffs] Actually, you do.
And how long did you work on that choreography? Oh, wait. There was none.
You're lazy, Mercedes.
Not too lazy to come up there and let you taste my fist!
Whoever gets this solo is gonna have to work on it day and night.
Do you think you're ready for that? I do.
I don't.
[Mercedes] I hate him.
- [Exhales] - Hi.
My name is Rachel Berry, and I'll be singing the most difficult song I've ever sung.
- Great. What song? - Barbra's closing number to my favorite movie, Funny Girl.
Rachel, in your head, are you singing to anyone in particular?
Not really.
Oh.
♪♪ [Piano]
♪ Oh, my man, I love him so ♪
♪ He'll never know ♪
♪ All my life is just despair ♪
♪ But I don't care ♪
♪ When he takes me in his arms ♪
♪ The world ♪
♪ Is bright ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ What's the difference if I say ♪
♪ I'll go away ♪
♪ When I know I'll come back ♪
♪ On my knees someday? ♪
♪ For whatever my man is ♪
♪ I am his ♪
♪ Forevermore ♪
♪ Oh, my man, I love him so ♪
♪ He'll never know ♪
♪ All my life is just despair ♪
♪ But I don't care ♪
♪ When he takes me in his arms ♪
♪ The world is bright ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ What's the difference if I say ♪
♪ I'll go away ♪
♪ When I know I'll come back ♪
♪ On my knees someday? ♪
♪ For whatever my man is ♪
♪ I am his ♪
♪ Forever ♪
♪ More ♪♪
She may be difficult, but boy, can she sing.
Bravo!
I have to be honest.
That was brilliant. I have nothing but the tip of my hat.
- Garbage. This whole thing is rigged. - Hold on, Santana.
- Like I said before, I make the final call here. - Well, then make it.
Out of respect to you all,
I'm going to take a couple days and consider all the results.
Now, I will let you all know by Friday.
Great job, everyone.
We sorted Jean's stuff into piles.
Over there are some old magazines and newspapers that you can just toss out.
This is stuff you're definitely going to want to keep... photos and stuffed animals.
And this third pile is stuff that we don't really know what to do with. Um...
- Pom-pom. [Chuckles] - Toss it.
- It's not worth anything. - Are you sure?
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Oh, I love that movie.
Then you take it. It's probably worn out.
She watched it at least three times a week.
- Just toss it all out. - What?
You heard me. It's all junk. [Sniffles]
I'll take this stuffed animal.
Jean's had this since she was six.
Everything else, just toss it out. I don't need it.
- But there are memories here. - I'm not short on memories of my sister, so...
I know what it's like to lose someone.
When someone dies, it hurts.
Very astute, Porcelain.
That's a little nugget of wisdom I'd really like to jot down.
- We're just trying to help. - You know what, Cottage Cheese?
You're not helping. You're actually making things worse.
So do me a favor and take all this stuff to the Dumpster on your way to the rehearsal...
for whatever treacly ballad you're planning on using to ruin my sister's funeral.
Why did you agree to this then?
If you hate us so much, then why are you letting the Glee Club plan the service?
I was afraid no one would come.
Jean didn't know a lot of people.
I figured, with the Glee Club there at least she'd have a full house.
[Quiet Chattering]
Hey, Sue.
You look nice. Thank you for coming.
Jean always stood up for you...
when I told her stories about how evil your hair was.
Did anyone come?
It's a full house, actually.
Workers from the home, other residents, their families.
Your sister touched a lot of people.
Thank you.
[Will] Thank you.
♪♪ [Orchestra]
♪♪ [Continues]
What do you think, Coach Sylvester?
You told us that Willy Wonka was Jean's favorite movie.
The way you described Jean made her sound so special,
so we wanted her funeral to be special also.
Something to capture and express the joy of her life...
rather than the sadness of her death.
It's lovely.
Let's sit.
Welcome to the most unusual funeral...
that I have ever attended.
Which makes sense, because Jean was the most unusual person...
that I ever had the pleasure to spend every Sunday for the last 30 years with.
I think that Jean's sister Sue...
would like to say a few words.
[Inhales, Exhales]
"I miss my sister.
Every night, at 10:00 or so,
she used to call me on the phone,
and when I asked her why,
she'd tell me that her body told her...
she wanted to hear my voice."
I'll read it.
[Clears Throat]
"I miss my sister...
the smell of her shampoo,
the way she could always convince me to read her another book.
When you love someone like I loved her,
they're a part of you.
It's like you're attached by this invisible tether, and no matter how far away you are...
you can always feel them.
And now, every time I reach for that tether...
I know there's no one on the other end, and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness.
Then I remember Jean.
I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets,
and I'm inspired...
to get up out of bed and go on.
I miss my sister so much.
It feels like a piece of me has been ripped off.
Just one more time I want to hold her.
Ten more seconds. Is that too much to ask?
For 10 more seconds to hold her? [Voice Breaks]
But I can't...
and I won't,
and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness...
is that Jean would kill me if I did.
So for now...
I'm just gonna miss her.
I love you, Jeanie.
Rest in peace."
This was Jean's favorite song.
Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three.
♪ Come with me ♪
♪ And you'll be ♪
♪ In a world ♪
♪ Of pure imagination ♪
♪ Take a look ♪
♪ And you'll see ♪
♪ Into your imagination ♪
♪ We'll begin ♪
♪ With a spin ♪
♪ Traveling in the world of my creation ♪
♪ What we'll see ♪
♪ Will defy ♪
♪ Explanation ♪
♪ If you want to view paradise ♪
♪ Simply look around and view it ♪
♪ Anything you want to, do it ♪
♪ Want to change the world ♪
♪ There's nothing to it ♪
♪ There is no ♪
♪ Life I know ♪
♪ To compare ♪
♪ With pure imagination ♪
♪ Living there ♪
♪ You'll be free ♪
♪ If you truly ♪
♪ Wish to be ♪♪
Thank you.
[Sniffling]
Sorry. Long line in the restroom.
Everyone was fixing their mascara.
Mmm.
You did such a great job with the funeral. I'm so proud of you.
Why are you crying?
Because I'm breaking up with you.
Because of Rachel?
'Cause you still love her?
I shouldn't have done this with you.
I thought that I could fix everything from last year, but I...
I can't.
I just can't. And...
that feeling that Sue was talking about in there...
of being tethered to someone, I... I just...
I don't feel that way about you.
But you do with her?
No.
We're not breaking up.
I can handle your confusion with Rachel until you get over it.
We're gonna stay together, and next year we'll be prom king and queen and...
Just stop it. Okay? I don't want that life.
[Exhales]
Don't you feel anything anymore?
This is real. This is happening.
Are you happy now?
Is this me feeling enough for you?
- Quinn, I'm sorry. I still love you. - Just don't touch me!
[Door Slams]
[Brittany] Action. It was a tough competition, but here's the dope.
Santana? Too mean. Kurt? Too controversial.
Mercedes... I said it twice, and I'll say it again. Lazy B-O-N-E-S.
Rachel is the clear winner.
I'm really not comfortable having this conversation taped.
Well, I can't practice reality show judging without a camera.
It's like practicing skiing without skis.
[Brittany] I've totally done that. Okay, turn that thing off.
The off switch is right there. Yeah, I know how to turn it off. Thanks.
- Okay. - Thank you.
Jesse, maybe you can come on Fondue for Two and judge my cat.
- Rock and roll. - To be honest, Jesse, the more we talk about this,
the more uncomfortable I feel about all of it.
It just feels like I'm telling one of my children that they're my favorite.
That's what my parents told me in front of my siblings.
Some might say that it led to my brother's whippit addiction and my sister's bulimia,
but my parents owed them the truth.
You really think picking Rachel means we'd beat Vocal Adrenaline?
It's in the bag.
[School Bell Rings] [Knocking]
- Coach, can I come in? - Hello, Becky.
I'm turning in my pom-poms...
and the megaphone that you got me.
I'll miss our time together.
I'm gonna stop you right there, Becky.
Have you ever heard of menopause?
Well, I fired you in a hormonal fury I like to call "womb rage,"
and I apologize.
Now I'd like you to pick up those pom-poms and that megaphone.
You know why? Next year, you're captain of the Cheerios.
Oh, my gosh! Thanks, Coach!
- Gotta call my mom! - Uh, hold it right there.
I'm not finished. I want you to give me a hug.
Come here.
[Sighs] [School Bell Rings]
That seat taken? No.
[Exhales]
William, I have to say something.
In the history of our relationship, I've said many things to you,
but there's one thing I've never said... good luck.
You know, I spent all this time hating you and hating that Glee Club.
I do this thing where I sort of alternate which one of those kids I hate the most.
Right now, it's the dancing Asian.
But after what you did for my sister, I just can't do it anymore.
You have something Jean had...
that I do not have.
A pure heart.
You're a very good friend, William, and I have not been that to you.
Yeah, you really haven't. So it's time for a change.
Starting today, I will no longer be going after the Glee Club.
Frankly, I have bigger fish to fry.
I'm running for the United States House of Representatives.
[Coughing]
I'm... I'm sorry. What did you say?
In the last year of her life, Jean faced ballooning health care costs and...
cuts to her disability payments.
Well, the Sue Sylvester American Liberty Party...
thinks that's a load of phooey.
There is one slight problem.
In a fit of pique,
I rerouted the Glee Club's plane to Libya.
Wait, what?
It took some effort. It was a long fit of pique.
I had some help. Panda Express really came through for me.
- So we're not going to New York? - I can explain that.
Will, I'm gonna leave you two alone,
as this just became superawkward. [School Bell Rings]
These are first-class tickets on American Airlines.
How did you afford them?
Do you know that if you complain to the airline about contracting monkey pox...
in the bathroom on the plane,
you can get the president of the airline on the phone within an hour?
But you didn't. No, of course not.
Have you been on their planes? They're immaculate.
No, it turns out that one of the vice presidents of American Airlines...
is a big supporter of the arts or something,
so when I told him your Glee Club's sob story,
he gladly came up with the tickets for you guys to make it happen.
This is amazing, Terri.
Wait.
What's the catch?
I'm moving to Miami.
Sheets 'N' Things is opening a new branch down there,
and they have asked me to manage it.
Like, full-on manager? The assistant title is officially dropped.
Look, Will, I know that I made your life...
challenging sometimes, but...
it was only because I loved you so much.
I loved you too. We just weren't right.
No regrets though. No. Not one.
[No Audible Dialogue]
Just try to relax a little bit while you're down there, okay? Oh. Yeah.
I mean, you deserve to enjoy yourself. Okay.
I'll see you around, Will.
[School Bell Rings]
Hey. Hey.
Is everything okay with Terri?
Yeah. Finally. [Chuckles] It is.
Is... Are you wearing one of my old vests?
Yeah, I didn't have the heart to throw it away. [Giggles]
Emma, this isn't forever. I hope it is.
Really, Will. You deserve this.
You've given so much for so long,
and now it's your turn.
But, um, don't be a stranger, okay?
Thank you.
[School Bell Rings]
Jesse? That's sweet.
You remember the masculine click of my designer boots.
Why did you ask me to meet you right before the list goes up? Is this good news, or is it bad?
Rachel, I did wrong by you last year,
and I came back to make that wrong right.
And I came here to tell you...
that you're going to be the featured soloist at nationals in New York.
Wait. How do you know? Did Mr. Schuester tell you?
Let it suffice to say that I was very involved in the decision.
[Squealing, Giggling] [Laughing]
But I-I-I feel bad. Everyone else worked so hard.
Now they're just gonna hate me.
They sort of already do.
And you know as well as I that sometimes that's the price of fame.
I used to think that fame was the only thing that mattered.
And now I realize that there's something that matters to me more.
What? You.
Come on. I think the list is posted.
[School Bell Rings]
This doesn't make any sense.
Guys, it was a tough decision, but it's for the good of the club.
Although this is deeply personal, try not to take it personally.
Um, you guys might want to read what the list says.
What? Wh-Why?
Oh, Mr. Schue, thank God you're here to put these trolls out of their misery.
Can you just announce my win so that I can get on with teasing the losers?
I heard your performance, Santana. This is mine, and you know it.
See, Jesse? This is the kind of infighting and "me first" attitudes I wanted to avoid.
What you call infighting, I call motivation. And this is just the beginning.
Once we get to nationals, I'll have them willing to kill each other for that solo.
No.
I've changed my mind.
We're going back to what got us here... original songs sung by the entire club.
We're a team, and we're best when we work as one.
- You're going to lose. - Whatever we do, we're gonna do it together.
Actually, Santana, you sounded pretty good.
Thanks. You guys were all pretty dope too. Even Rachel.
I wish I could sound like you do, Santana. How do you get that raspiness?
So nice. I smoke cigars.
Time to get to work. I want two hit songs by the time the wheels touch down at JFK.
- Come on. - Okay.
Hey.
Thanks. For what?
I know you're hurting right now, but it's really cool you didn't quit Glee Club.
If I quit Glee Club, my big plans for New York would have been ruined.
What plans? You'll see.
♪♪ [Vocalizing]
♪♪ [Harmonic Vocalizing]
♪♪ [Ends]
English - US - PSDH