1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:03,961 Here's what you missed last season on Glee. 2 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,506 Quinn had a baby. Finn and Rachel are in love. 3 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:09,217 Sue's going easy on Will. Even though the Glee Club worked really hard... 4 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:11,552 - to get to regionals, they didn't win. - Vocal Adrenaline! 5 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:14,806 But it's okay to not win an award, particularly when you had so much fun getting there. 6 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:17,475 - Right? Right? - We didn't even place. 7 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,186 And that's what you missed on Glee. 8 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,939 - [School Bell Rings] - Up here. Come on. Focus. 9 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:27,568 Okay. Hi, I'm Jacob Ben Israel, with Glee's Big Gay Summer... 10 00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:30,321 with all the Glee Club dish you're dying to know. 11 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:33,866 Rachel, how do you respond to rumors you're incredibly difficult to work with? 12 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,120 Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that. We've been dating all summer. 13 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,664 Rachel's what you'd call a "controlist." 14 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:42,125 I-I-I'm controlling. "Controlist" isn't a word. Oh. 15 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,752 I'm controlling. Performing is my life. 16 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:47,296 And, yes, do I have opinions about it? 17 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,633 Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow Glee Clubbers? 18 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,052 Yes. Yeah. 19 00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:55,054 That was out loud, wasn't it? 20 00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:58,558 Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post on my blog... 21 00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,810 saying your Glee Club song selections... 22 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,730 sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod? 23 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,982 Well, I try to do something for everybody. 24 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:10,445 Uh, 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock... 25 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,447 100% gay. 26 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:15,700 Confirm or deny the rumor that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray, 27 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:19,162 you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy. 28 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:22,290 It's true. It was the responsible thing to do. [Sniffs] 29 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:25,293 Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression... 30 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,503 because you're not over Miss Fabray? 31 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:32,967 How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child? 32 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:36,971 Well, I'm happy to be back, and I'm ready to start fresh. 33 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:40,475 And I'm a lot less hormonal, 34 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,685 so... so there's not really any crying. 35 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,230 - How was your summer? - My eyes are up here, Jewfro. 36 00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:48,900 - And it was uneventful. - People thought I went on vacation, 37 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:51,444 but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers. 38 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,739 What can you say about the rumors the two of you are dating? 39 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,992 Because we're both Asian? That's racist. Totally racist. 40 00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,410 Oh. 41 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:03,080 [School Bell Rings] 42 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,833 Did you get that? You saw it here first. 43 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:12,048 Did you know there's a forum on my blog that's begging you to stop rapping? 44 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,092 Wait. The kids don't like it when I rap? 45 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,678 - When will you Glee Clubbers accept the fact- - Not now. 46 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:19,639 - That people hate you and think you're nothing... - I'm busy. 47 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:21,557 - But a glorified karaoke club... - Go away. 48 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,185 Designed to make the inventors of Auto-Tune millions of dollars? 49 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:27,313 When exactly did you ink your sponsorship with Lands' End? 50 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:30,525 When are you slated to make your triumphant return to the Shire? 51 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,193 How do you get the white on rice? 52 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,445 What did you do with all that breast milk? 53 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,405 You know what, Jacob? It doesn't take much courage... 54 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,783 for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barcaloungers... 55 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,577 and log on to the Internet and start tearing people down, does it? 56 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,454 But you know what does take some courage? 57 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,915 Standing up and singing about something. 58 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,167 So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. 59 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,837 Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, 60 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:54,048 say what you have to say to my face. 61 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:57,218 Welcome back, lady! 62 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,345 Whoo! 63 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:05,726 I don't suppose there's any way you could just cut out that last part, is there? 64 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,281 [School Bell Rings] 65 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:36,257 Hey. Why so glum, William? Cat crap in your coffee? 66 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,509 Or are you worried no one's signing up for your club? 67 00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:41,554 Not at all, Sue. Nationals are in New York City this year. 68 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,764 That list is gonna be filled up in no time. 69 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:47,602 You know what your problem is? "No tryouts. Just sign up!" 70 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:50,605 Nobody wants to be a part of a club that just anyone can join. 71 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:53,816 See this? It's a court summons... child endangerment. 72 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:57,111 There's been a line of would-be Cheerios out there since late July. 73 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,614 I guess they lost their humanity a little bit. 74 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,574 One girl ate a pigeon. 75 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:05,369 Several others started worshipping a possum carcass as their lord. 76 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,455 That's how much they want to be Cheerios. 77 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:12,501 Sorry, Sue. Anyone who wants to join Glee Club... gets to join. 78 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,670 Oh, God, Will. Let me break it down for you. 79 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,048 High school's a dry run for the rest of your life. 80 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:20,176 Not everyone can be champions. Not everyone should be champions. 81 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,887 We need fry cooks, bus drivers... 82 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,723 Well, Sue, it's how I work, and it's not gonna change. 83 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,684 I like being friends with you, Will. This is fun. [Chuckles] 84 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,103 You make not trying to destroy Glee Club easy. 85 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,106 You know why? 'Cause you're doing such a bang-up job of it... 86 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,691 all by yourself. 87 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,819 - [Cell Phone Buzzing] - Oop. It's time to feed my gimp. 88 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:41,489 Oh, and also, Figgins wants to see us. 89 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,992 Ah, ah, ah! Not you! Hands off that list. 90 00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:47,161 [School Bell Rings] [Sighs] 91 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:50,039 Cut my budget? You can't cut my budget... 92 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,250 without written consent from the president of the Federal Reserve! 93 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,002 It's in my contract! 94 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:59,674 Sue, I think you can manage a sixth national title without two confetti cannons. 95 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,842 You think your kids can manage life without their daddy? 96 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,886 We're barely surviving on the budget we have. 97 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,013 Slashing the Glee budget by 10%, 98 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,308 cutting our transportation to and from events is like cutting our legs off. 99 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,102 Sacrifices must be made. 100 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,229 This is being mandated at the district level, guys. 101 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,107 Studies show that the best way to bring in alumni donations... 102 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:18,526 is through a successful athletic department... 103 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,569 specifically, a winning football team. 104 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,072 Who's this? 105 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,366 I'm Shannon Beiste. I'm the new football coach. 106 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,119 Spelled B-E-l-S-T-E. It's French. 107 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,079 I'm sorry. What happened to Ken Tanaka? 108 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,498 Nervous breakdown. 109 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:35,126 Don't look at it as a punishment. 110 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:38,004 Look at it as an investment into your clubs' futures. 111 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,589 The more money the football program brings in, 112 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,550 the more I can give back to you guys! 113 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,553 Coach Beiste here is fresh off her fifth consecutive... 114 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:48,222 all-Missouri high school football championship. 115 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:52,268 - We're very lucky to have her! - What can I say? I like a challenge. 116 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,980 First of all, a female football coach, like a male nurse... 117 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,606 sin against nature. 118 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,608 Number two: 119 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:03,487 I'm sure you're used to hillbilly parents yelping adulation at you... 120 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:07,158 as they attempt to impregnate the tailpipes of various off-road vehicles. 121 00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:10,536 But you're in my house now, Beiste. 122 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:14,665 No one comes into my house and steals from me. 123 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,961 Do not get up in the Panther's business, lady. 124 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,130 You're all coffee and no omelet. 125 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:26,052 - That doesn't make any sense. - Coach, uh, Beiste, 126 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,803 I... I think you understand our frustration. 127 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,931 - Our budgets just got cut by 10%. - It should have been more! 128 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:33,934 You think there's not something wrong when the cheerleaders' budget's... 129 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,686 higher than the people who they're cheering for? 130 00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:38,564 - Well, sure, but the Glee Club is a... - The Glee Club? 131 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:42,526 You came in third last year and you're asking for more money? 132 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:46,655 [Scoffs] That's a steer with six teats and no oink. 133 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,491 [Squeals] 134 00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,912 That doesn't make any sense. What? 135 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,205 [School Bell Rings] 136 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,040 These are comments from Jacob Ben Israel's... 137 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,459 most recent Glee Club blog. 138 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,628 "Glee is a giant ball of suck." 139 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,172 We get it, Mr. Schue. Everyone still hates us. 140 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,300 So what? So we're plankton on the high school food chain. 141 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,511 Only difference now is that none of us really care. 142 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,180 Kurt's right. We're a family. They can bring it all they want. 143 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,100 - None of it is gonna break us. - I'm happy that you guys have bonded. 144 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,061 The problem is that all of this negative stuff... 145 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,105 is keeping other students from auditioning. 146 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,273 Good. Why do we need new members? 147 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:24,110 Well, since Matt transferred, we only have 11 members. 148 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,987 If we want to go to nationals... if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline... 149 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:30,741 we have to go from a small rebel force to a giant wall of sound. 150 00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:32,493 Yeah. Mr. Schuester's right, you guys. 151 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,912 You didn't see Vocal Adrenaline at regionals. They were epic. 152 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,581 We're gonna need more voices in order to beat them. 153 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,416 Yeah. I'm with Rachel on this one. 154 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,626 Gross. 155 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,003 You're gonna have to trust me on this, guys. 156 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,880 Now, here's the plan. 157 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,550 Nationals are in New York this year. 158 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,802 And we are going! 159 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,595 [Chuckling] Now let's go out there... 160 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,849 and show the school how cool it's gonna be, how cool we can be. 161 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:57,143 If they're not gonna come to us, let's go to them. 162 00:07:57,227 --> 00:08:00,020 They say we only sing show tunes and '80s pop. 163 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,356 Let's show them how down we are. 164 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,441 Let's give 'em the song of the year, 165 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,235 New Directions style. [Brittany] Okay! 166 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,070 [Cheering] Whoo! 167 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:26,589 ♪ Yeah Yeah, I'm out that Brooklyn Now I'm down in Tribeca ♪ 168 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,966 ♪ Right next to De Niro but I'll be hood forever ♪ 169 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,969 ♪ I'm the new Sinatra And since I made it here ♪ 170 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,388 ♪ I can make it anywhere Yeah, they love me everywhere ♪ 171 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,224 ♪ I used to cop in Harlem All of my Dominicanos ♪ 172 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:40,394 ♪ Right there up on Broadway Pull me back to that McDonald's ♪ 173 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:43,147 ♪ Took it to my stash box 560 State Street ♪ 174 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,649 ♪ Catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons whippin' pastries ♪ 175 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,485 ♪ Eight million stories out there and they're naked ♪ 176 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,572 ♪ City is a pity Half of y'all won't make it ♪ 177 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,616 ♪ Me, I gotta plug Special Ed "I Got It Made" ♪ 178 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,660 ♪ If Jesus payin' LeBron I'm payin' Dwyane Wade ♪ 179 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,830 ♪ Three-dice Cee Lo three-card Molly ♪ 180 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:02,541 ♪ Labor Day Parade Rest in peace, Bob Marley ♪ 181 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:05,252 ♪ Jigga, I be Spiked out I could trip a referee ♪ 182 00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:09,215 ♪ Tell by my attitude that I'm most definitely from ♪ 183 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,592 - ♪ In New York ♪ - ♪ Hey ♪ 184 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:15,095 ♪ Concrete jungle where dreams are made of ♪ 185 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,015 ♪ There's nothin' you can't do ♪ 186 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:22,603 - ♪ Now you're in New York ♪ - ♪ You're in New York ♪ 187 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,813 ♪ Welcome to the bright lights, baby ♪ 188 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:29,109 ♪ These streets will make you feel brand-new Big lights will inspire you ♪ 189 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,904 ♪ Let's hear it for New York ♪ 190 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,657 ♪ New York, New York ♪ 191 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,575 ♪ Yeah ♪ 192 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,620 ♪ One hand in the air for the big city ♪ 193 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:42,122 ♪ Streetlights, big dreams all lookin' pretty ♪ 194 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,792 ♪ No place in the world that could compare ♪ 195 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,794 ♪ Put your lighters in the air ♪ 196 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,213 ♪ Everybody say Yeah, yeah ♪ 197 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,883 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 198 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,844 ♪ In New York ♪ 199 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,223 ♪ Concrete jungle where dreams are made of ♪ 200 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,726 ♪ There's nothing you can't do ♪ 201 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:05,646 - ♪ Now you're in New York ♪ - ♪ New York ♪ 202 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,106 ♪ New York ♪ 203 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:11,694 ♪ These streets will make you feel brand-new ♪ 204 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,029 ♪ Big lights will inspire you ♪ 205 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,240 ♪ Let's hear it for New York ♪ 206 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:19,326 - ♪ New York, New York ♪ - ♪ New York, New York ♪ 207 00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:21,120 ♪ New ♪ 208 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,831 ♪♪ [Vocalizing] 209 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,418 ♪♪ [Ends] 210 00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:33,090 [School Bell Rings] 211 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:35,050 Hey, Sue. Can I talk to you for a second? 212 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,760 Sure, buddy. You look steamed. 213 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,888 Those kids went out and really tried to show what Glee Club was all about. 214 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,934 And how does the school repay them? By defacing the sign-up sheet. 215 00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,353 "Buttface McBallnuts." "Ass-braham Lin-colon." 216 00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,772 - They're not even funny! - Now, don't be rude, William. 217 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:51,775 I put a lot of thought into those. 218 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,861 Consider this a wake-up call. 219 00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:55,863 You're worried about getting new recruits? 220 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:58,240 Well, if Beiste gets her way and our budgets are slashed, 221 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,075 you'll be cutting kids left and right. 222 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,706 You're right. I hadn't thought about that. 223 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,125 Beiste needs to be stopped, 224 00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:10,753 and I need your help to topple her. 225 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,504 You in? 226 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,093 I'm in. 227 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:25,059 [Finn Narrating] I was really excited about my Glee Club recruit poster design. 228 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,686 I made it supermasculine, just like these pamphlets I saw... 229 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,689 some army guys passing out at a day-care center. 230 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,442 Then I heard something. 231 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,652 [Boy] ♪ In the dead of the night ♪ 232 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:39,448 ♪ Although we lie close together ♪ 233 00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:42,993 ♪ I feel like we're miles apart inside ♪ It was this new transfer kid. 234 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,662 I saw him tappin' his foot when we busted out in the courtyard. 235 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:50,292 ♪ They say every rose has its thorn ♪ 236 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:58,133 ♪ Just like every night has its dawn ♪ 237 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,178 I would've joined in with a kick-ass harmony, but the dude was naked. 238 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,890 ♪ Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song ♪♪ 239 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,309 [School Bell Rings] 240 00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,112 Oh, hello. 241 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,823 I couldn't help but notice you admiring me yesterday in the courtyard. 242 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:23,575 - Um, what? - Oh, you don't speak English. 243 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,869 You like me sing. 244 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,330 You like me sing very much. 245 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,124 Um, I totally speak English. 246 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,792 I even did a little research on you. 247 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,294 You're a foreign exchange student named Sunshine Corazon... 248 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,964 because you're from the Philippines, where it's sunny every day. 249 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,133 Except for the monsoons. Listen, Sunshine. 250 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:42,428 We need chorus members... people to stand behind me and stare at me... 251 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,596 with wet, moved eyes while I sing solos. 252 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:48,642 So I encourage you to audition for Glee Club! 253 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:53,856 Glee Club is fun. Swaying in background can be fun. 254 00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,023 Thank you. Okay. 255 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:02,114 ♪ Hello, hello, baby You called I can't hear a thing ♪ 256 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,492 ♪ I have got no service in the club you see, see ♪ 257 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:09,955 ♪ What, what, what did you say Oh, you're breaking up on me ♪ 258 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:13,459 ♪ Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy ♪ 259 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:17,880 ♪ K-Kinda busy ♪ 260 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:21,967 [Together] ♪ Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy ♪ 261 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,596 ♪ Just a second It's my favorite song they're gonna play ♪ 262 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,516 ♪ And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh ♪ 263 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:33,353 ♪ You should've made some plans with me You knew that I was free ♪ 264 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:37,566 ♪ And now you won't stop calling me I'm kinda busy ♪ 265 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:42,112 ♪ Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna think anymore ♪ 266 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:45,365 ♪ I left my head and my heart on the dance floor ♪ 267 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:49,453 ♪ Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore ♪ 268 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:53,874 ♪ I left my head and my heart on the dance floor ♪ 269 00:13:55,752 --> 00:14:00,297 ♪ Stop telephoning me ♪ 270 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,548 ♪ I'm busy ♪♪ 271 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,134 Shut up! 272 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,806 Um, that was fun. 273 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:13,894 I'd love to join your club. When are auditions? 274 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:17,147 Let me get back to you on that one. Don't tell anyone about this, okay? 275 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:18,690 Okay. 276 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,489 We're trying to recruit new members for Glee Club. 277 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,823 [Chuckling] 278 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,742 The Panther isn't cool with anything... 279 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:33,080 except doing exactly what she says without question. 280 00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:35,749 That's how you win. Now, first things first. 281 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,461 You're all cut. Everyone starts fresh with me. 282 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,714 Tryouts start right now. Any questions? 283 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:46,218 I got 25 everything pies... 284 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,804 for a Coach Beiste? 285 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,307 - I didn't order any pizzas. - [Chuckling] 286 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,485 [Laughing] Isn't this kind of immature? 287 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:07,114 Oh, it's downright childish. But I know gals like Beiste. 288 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:10,158 Oh, her high school life must have been miserable. 289 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,452 She's oversized, humorless, 290 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:15,080 refers to herself in the third person as an animal. 291 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,456 [Laughs] 292 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,083 This kind of abuse and teasing... 293 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,586 will bring back all those childhood memories. 294 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:24,131 She'll be shaken to her core. Humiliated and devastated. 295 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:26,508 She'll have no choice but to quit her job. 296 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,677 And our budgets will be restored. 297 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,053 Yes! 298 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:34,474 The boss says, uh, if you don't pay for 'em I have to, 299 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:38,103 which means we have to reuse my kid's Pampers... 300 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,355 for another week. 301 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,867 Hand 'em out, Wayne Newton. All right, guys, it's a pizza party. 302 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,537 Dig in. Everybody has to eat at least four slices. 303 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,957 Let's go! And when you're done, full pads out on the field. 304 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:01,543 - We're doing wind sprints. - [Boys Moan] 305 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,713 And the first 10 to puke are off the team. 306 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,513 Hey, guys, um, there's pizza in there if you want some. 307 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,682 Thank you. Thank you. 308 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,518 [School Bell Rings] 309 00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:21,938 I figured that if Kurt's gay and he can do it, then why can't I? 310 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,191 Being gay isn't a handicap, Artie. 311 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:26,234 How can you play football in a wheelchair anyway? 312 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,278 I have to get on that team, Finn. 313 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:32,908 - Dude, what's this about? - Tina. 314 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,452 She dumped me for Mike Chang. 315 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:39,456 They fell in love over the summer at Asian camp. 316 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,583 [Artie Narrating] They were counselors, in charge of teaching... 317 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,544 all those tech-savvy Asian kids about the arts. 318 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:49,299 ♪ Getting to know all about you ♪ 319 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,427 ♪ Getting to like you ♪♪ 320 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,139 [Shutter Clicks] 321 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,808 [School Bell Rings] 322 00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:00,394 So what did Tina say when she broke up with you? 323 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,562 I think you're great, Artie. But you're a terrible boyfriend. 324 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,398 You ignored me for weeks this summer. 325 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,566 I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman. 326 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,318 And then when we did get together, 327 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:11,154 all you wanted to do was watch Coming Home over and over. 328 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,990 Mike tries to be into what I'm into. 329 00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:15,742 Like his abs. 330 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,832 Dude, I'm sympathetic for you. I just don't see you on the football team. 331 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:24,918 Imagine you were pushing me in this hunk of metal down the field at full speed. 332 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,878 The centrifugal force would be too much to stop. 333 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:30,132 I'd be like a medieval battering ram. 334 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:34,136 Dude, you'd be like a human cannonball. That would be awesome! 335 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,139 So you'll help? 336 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,641 Sure. But you gotta help me first. 337 00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,768 Hey, Sam. 338 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,438 My name's Finn. This here is Artie. 339 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:47,566 Yeah, I know who you are. You're the... the quarterback. 340 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,568 Exactly. Which makes me very cool. 341 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,820 And we'd like to talk to you about Glee Club. 342 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,823 So, Sam, tell us about yourself. 343 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,992 My name's Sam Evans. 344 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,369 I like comic books, sports. 345 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,830 I'm dyslexic, so my grades aren't that good. 346 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,499 - But I'm working on it. - Dude, your mouth is huge. 347 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,460 How many tennis balls can you fit in there? 348 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:09,296 I don't know. I've never had any balls in my mouth. 349 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,047 Have you? 350 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:16,553 I like this kid. I like his confidence. 351 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,930 - But the Bieber cut's gotta go. - Mm-hmm. 352 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,640 So can you sing with that big mouth? 353 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,685 I've never really sung in front of anybody before. 354 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,980 Dude, let me tell you... chicks dig singers. 355 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,858 Well, give it a shot. We'll back you up, I promise. 356 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,651 What song you got in your back pocket? 357 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,945 Um, "Billionaire"? 358 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,989 [Snaps Fingers] 359 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:43,663 ♪ I wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad ♪ 360 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:47,751 ♪ Buy all of the things I never had ♪ 361 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:52,005 ♪ I wanna be on the cover of ♪ 362 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,758 ♪ Forbes magazine ♪ 363 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:59,262 ♪ Smiling next to Oprah and the queen ♪ 364 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:04,434 ♪ Oh, every time I close my eyes ♪ 365 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:10,524 ♪ I see my name in shining lights ♪ 366 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:11,733 ♪ Yeah ♪ 367 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:16,154 ♪ A different city every night Oh, I ♪ 368 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:20,492 ♪ I swear the world better prepare ♪ 369 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:23,870 ♪ For when I'm a billionaire ♪ 370 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:26,581 ♪ Yeah, I would have a show like Oprah ♪ 371 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,251 ♪ I would be the host of every day Christmas ♪ 372 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,585 ♪ Give Artie a wish list ♪ 373 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,296 ♪ I'll probably pull a Angelina and Brad Pitt ♪ 374 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,966 ♪ And adopt a bunch of babies that ain't never had it ♪ 375 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,760 ♪ Give away a few Mercedes like Here, lady, have this ♪ 376 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,721 ♪ And last but not least grant somebody their last wish ♪ 377 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,391 ♪ It's been a couple months that I been single, so ♪ 378 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,977 ♪ You can call me Artie Claus minus the ho-ho ♪ 379 00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:50,397 [Chuckles] ♪ Get it, I'll probably visit where Katrina hit ♪ 380 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:53,108 ♪ And darn sure do a lot more than FEMA did ♪ 381 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,527 ♪ Yeah, can't forget about me, stupid ♪ 382 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,280 ♪ Everywhere I go I'm-a have my own theme music ♪ 383 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,616 ♪ Oh, every time I close my eyes ♪ 384 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,827 ♪ Oh, what you see what you see, bro ♪ 385 00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:07,581 ♪ I see my name in shining lights ♪ 386 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,875 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh And what else ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ 387 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,960 ♪ A different city every night ♪ 388 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:16,214 ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Oh, I, I swear ♪ 389 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,300 - ♪ World better prepare ♪ - ♪ For what ♪ 390 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,677 ♪ For when I'm a billionaire ♪ 391 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:24,306 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ 392 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,975 ♪ When I'm a billionaire ♪ 393 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,727 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪ 394 00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:32,147 - ♪ Sing it ♪ - ♪ When I'm a billionaire ♪ 395 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,316 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪ 396 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,734 ♪ Oh ♪ 397 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,988 ♪ I wanna be a billionaire ♪ 398 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:44,868 ♪ So freakin' bad ♪♪ 399 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:49,331 - That- That was really cool. - Nice. 400 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:52,250 You think you can come back and do that in front of everybody? 401 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:53,501 Sure. 402 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,925 [School Bell Rings] 403 00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:02,344 So is that a men's sweater? 404 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,304 Fashion has no gender. 405 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:08,266 Ladies, we have a problem. There's a new student at this school... 406 00:21:08,351 --> 00:21:11,061 named Sunshine who is a Filipino and is shorter than me. 407 00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:13,688 Which I didn't think was possible and is very unnerving. 408 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,274 - Okay. So I'm gonna go now. - Wait! 409 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:19,486 And... she has a remarkable voice. 410 00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:22,072 [Exhales Deeply] I'm just... 411 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,991 I'm very worried. You know, not for myself, 412 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:28,119 but for my lesser Glee Clubbers who don't get as many solos. 413 00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:31,247 So I've paid a hundred dollars to Azimio and Karofsky... 414 00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,041 to brutally Slushee us in front of Sunshine's locker... 415 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,919 terrifying her and ensuring she doesn't sign up. 416 00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:39,172 Uh, okay. This is the part where you're supposed to be hugging me and thanking me. 417 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,216 That's awful. You're awful. 418 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,134 - But solos. I mean... - Look, Rachel. 419 00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:45,804 Mercedes and I are about as self-involved as they come. 420 00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:48,098 But more than anything, we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline. 421 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:51,851 And if there's someone at the school that can help us do that, they're in. 422 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:55,397 You know what? 423 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,817 You're right. 424 00:21:58,901 --> 00:22:01,945 It's just so like me to just be... 425 00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:04,823 totally blinded by my concern for the two of you. 426 00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,659 Well, I'Il... I'll go talk to Sunshine now... 427 00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:10,578 and just let her know how truly welcome she really is. 428 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,207 Thanks. 429 00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:15,792 [School Bell Rings] [Mouths Word] 430 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:25,885 Hi. So, here's the address for the audition tomorrow and helpful directions. 431 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,263 - Look forward to seeing you there. - Thanks. 432 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:40,316 Beiste is on the move. Operation Mean Girl is a go. 433 00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:43,486 Move. Go! Disperse. 434 00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:45,238 Leave the Danish. 435 00:22:51,037 --> 00:22:53,163 - Anyone sitting here? - Yes. 436 00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:55,832 These seats are currently being occupied by my ghost friends. 437 00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:58,209 - I beg your pardon? - My ghost friends. 438 00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:01,588 Hideous, lonely faculty members who met with an early death... 439 00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:03,798 from good old-fashioned school-yard bullying. 440 00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:07,135 And you know why? They tried to cross me. 441 00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:09,345 So why don't you just keep on walking? 442 00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:17,228 Hi, Will. You mind if I sit here? 443 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:20,565 Uh, sorry. Taken. 444 00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:22,275 How about there? 445 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:26,237 Actually, they're all sort of taken. 446 00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:31,201 I am, uh, meeting with some science teachers. 447 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:35,163 You think it's easy being a female football coach, being different? 448 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,041 You think I don't get this everywhere I go? 449 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:41,419 Everybody told me that Sue was the school bully and that... 450 00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,546 that you were really cool. 451 00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:45,632 I see they got that last part wrong, huh? 452 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:53,765 - [Clicks Teeth] - [Sighs] 453 00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:56,017 [School Bell Rings] 454 00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:08,029 So you know why Helen Keller couldn't drive, right? 455 00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:10,031 Why? 'Cause she was a woman. 456 00:24:10,116 --> 00:24:13,326 Oh, dude, that's messed up, man. [Laughing] 457 00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:18,164 Coach Beiste? Are you crying? [Chattering] 458 00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:20,208 Yeah. 459 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:24,754 Saw your stats from last season, and it really hurt my feelings. [Chuckles] 460 00:24:27,675 --> 00:24:29,050 Hey, Coach. Uh... 461 00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:33,555 This is Artie. He'd like to try out for the team. 462 00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:38,059 - You screwing with me? - No. No, absolutely not. 463 00:24:38,144 --> 00:24:42,689 We figured that if I push him down the field fast enough, the... the... the centrifugal... 464 00:24:42,773 --> 00:24:43,815 - Centrifugal. - Centrifugal force... 465 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,650 You're out. 466 00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:49,237 - Wait. What? - You're off the team. Cut. Out. 467 00:24:50,364 --> 00:24:52,490 You come in here pushing a kid in a wheelchair, 468 00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:54,284 making me look like some kind of monster... 469 00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:56,119 because I have to tell him he can't play? 470 00:24:56,245 --> 00:24:58,496 No, uh... No, that's not what was going on here. Artie... 471 00:24:58,581 --> 00:25:01,457 I really wanna play. I want my girlfriend back, 472 00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,294 - and I want abs. - [Laughing] 473 00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:07,505 Yeah, he's like a human battering ram. Like... Like Braveheart. 474 00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:10,133 You know what? I don't like being screwed with! 475 00:25:10,217 --> 00:25:12,427 - Do you understand me? - Dude, you're totally overreacting. 476 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,179 "Dude"? 477 00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:16,723 Get the hell out of my locker room! 478 00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:19,100 Go! 479 00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:23,438 Think this is some joke? 480 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,273 God! 481 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,990 [School Bell Rings] 482 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,785 Next. 483 00:25:43,459 --> 00:25:45,668 - No way. Get out. - Coach Sylvester, please hear me out. 484 00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:48,671 Nope. I trusted you, and you let me down. 485 00:25:48,756 --> 00:25:50,465 I don't want you anywhere near my squad. 486 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:53,384 You'll deafen them with the sound of your stretch marks rubbing together. 487 00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:56,638 I understand you had your confetti cannons taken away. 488 00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:59,974 I bet there are quite a few church groups who would gladly give money... 489 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:02,477 to a squad who helped rehabilitate a girl who got pregnant... 490 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,855 and now speaks out for abstinence education while wearing a Cheerios uniform. 491 00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:08,691 Next! 492 00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,740 Oh, my gosh, Coach. 493 00:26:15,824 --> 00:26:18,117 Wait. You're serious? Finn? 494 00:26:18,202 --> 00:26:19,869 My eyes are still burning. 495 00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:24,499 I'm Finn Hudson, and I'd like to audition for the Cheerios. 496 00:26:26,835 --> 00:26:38,221 ♪ I've got the power ♪ 497 00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:42,141 Am I dreaming? 498 00:26:42,226 --> 00:26:44,018 - ♪ I've got the power ♪♪ - Is this happening? 499 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:45,895 But why? 500 00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:52,026 Coach Beiste kicked me off the football team. 501 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:56,447 I'm not the quarterback anymore, which means I'm nothing. 502 00:26:57,700 --> 00:26:59,367 I miss being popular. 503 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:01,369 This is really embarrassing. 504 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:03,746 I have really great leadership skills, 505 00:27:03,831 --> 00:27:06,374 and, uh, I'm athletic, 506 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,710 so I could help with the lifts and stuff. 507 00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:12,922 I hope you'll consider me. 508 00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:15,800 Why would he get kicked off the football team? 509 00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:19,012 Finn was just trying to help out his "handicapable" friend. 510 00:27:19,096 --> 00:27:22,849 He was insubordinate, twice. I'm the captain of the U.S.S. KickAss, 511 00:27:22,933 --> 00:27:25,643 not the U.S.S. Back Talk. 512 00:27:25,728 --> 00:27:28,771 Please, Coach, don't do this to me. I need football. It's who I am. 513 00:27:28,856 --> 00:27:30,315 I thought you were the Glee guy. 514 00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:33,067 I mean, what, with all the sign-up sheets you put in my locker room. 515 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:36,029 Finn is a really good kid. Give him a chance to show you. 516 00:27:36,113 --> 00:27:38,698 You mean don't make a snap judgment about him? 517 00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:42,869 Don't make his life miserable because I assume he's a certain way? 518 00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:45,913 Okay. I get it. This is about me. 519 00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,416 I haven't been very welcoming. But, please... please... 520 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,168 don't take this out on Finn. 521 00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:53,254 - Am I through here, Principal Figgins? - Mm-hmm. 522 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:02,513 A little bird told me that someone spent her summer vacation... 523 00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:04,474 getting a brand-new set of melons, 524 00:28:04,558 --> 00:28:09,187 even though you know I have a very strict "no plastics" policy in Cheerios. 525 00:28:09,271 --> 00:28:12,565 - Care to comment? - I just- 526 00:28:12,649 --> 00:28:15,985 What would possess a person your age to get a boob job? 527 00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:18,154 You don't even know what your body's gonna look like. 528 00:28:18,238 --> 00:28:22,033 It's an insult to nature and completely distracting. 529 00:28:22,117 --> 00:28:25,745 I can't take my eyes off them. I'm actually talking to them right now. 530 00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:29,207 I wanted people to notice me more. I-I don't get what the big deal is. 531 00:28:29,291 --> 00:28:31,793 Well, the big deal is that a person who has to pump her nonnies... 532 00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:34,045 full of gravy to feel good about herself... 533 00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:37,256 clearly doesn't have the self-esteem to be my head cheerleader. 534 00:28:38,384 --> 00:28:40,510 Quinn will replace you. 535 00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:44,389 - [Muttering] - Oh, and, Boobs McGee, 536 00:28:44,473 --> 00:28:46,474 you're demoted to the bottom of the pyramid, 537 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,310 so when it collapses, your exploding sandbags... 538 00:28:49,395 --> 00:28:52,188 will protect the squad from injury. 539 00:28:53,649 --> 00:28:56,734 Now take your juicy, vine-ripened chest fruit... 540 00:28:56,819 --> 00:28:59,570 and get the hell out of my office. 541 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:25,847 [Grunts] 542 00:29:27,558 --> 00:29:30,309 You did this to me. You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery! 543 00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:32,395 You have a surgery when you get your appendix out. 544 00:29:32,479 --> 00:29:35,189 - You got a boob job! - Yep, sure did. 545 00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:36,941 - You can't hit me. - Sure, I can. 546 00:29:37,025 --> 00:29:39,777 Unless you got yourself knocked up again, slut! 547 00:29:39,862 --> 00:29:42,155 - [Grunting] - Stop the violence. 548 00:29:43,198 --> 00:29:44,907 [Shrieks] 549 00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:46,826 H-H-Hey! Hey! What is this? 550 00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:48,703 What happened to us being a family? Hey! Stop it. 551 00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:51,080 Oh, please. She has a family. She's a mother. Stop that. 552 00:29:51,206 --> 00:29:55,042 Walk away. And tighten up your pony before you get to class! Hey. 553 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:13,978 Well, hate to break it to you, but it doesn't look like anyone's gonna be joining us. 554 00:30:14,104 --> 00:30:17,482 I think we should call it a day. We said 3:00 to 5:00. It's only 4:58. 555 00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:20,193 Just wait. My buddy Sam's gonna try out. He totally idolizes me. 556 00:30:20,277 --> 00:30:22,236 Face it, Finn. You're no longer the quarterback. 557 00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:23,946 You're not the pied piper anymore. 558 00:30:24,072 --> 00:30:27,033 No one's gonna follow you around thinking everything you do is cool. 559 00:30:27,117 --> 00:30:30,036 What about that Sunshine girl? I thought you said she could sing. 560 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,955 I guess she didn't want to hang out with us losers. 561 00:30:35,584 --> 00:30:38,336 [School Bell Rings] 562 00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:42,048 Show us on the doll where Coach Beiste touched you. 563 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,760 Here and here. 564 00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,555 - This is outrageous. - I'll say. 565 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:53,226 Anyone who would prey on someone as sweet and simple as poor, poor Brittany... 566 00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:55,311 deserves everything that's coming to her. 567 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:59,857 I suggest immediate termination and entry into the statewide sex offender database. 568 00:30:59,942 --> 00:31:02,068 Sorry I'm late. 569 00:31:02,152 --> 00:31:05,404 - What's going on? - Brittany here has accused Coach Beiste... 570 00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:07,990 of inappropriate touching. [Clicks Teeth] 571 00:31:08,075 --> 00:31:09,575 What? 572 00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:13,454 - Brittany, that's a serious accusation. - It's very serious. 573 00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:21,504 Brittany, what you're saying could ruin somebody's life. 574 00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:24,632 It's really important that you tell the truth here. 575 00:31:26,552 --> 00:31:28,678 I made it up. 576 00:31:28,762 --> 00:31:30,805 Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. 577 00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:34,183 Actually, I really want to touch her boobs. 578 00:31:34,268 --> 00:31:36,561 - [Sighs] - If you're all done wasting my time, 579 00:31:36,645 --> 00:31:39,522 - I have a football team to coach. - Coach... 580 00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:42,775 [School Bell Rings] 581 00:31:46,029 --> 00:31:48,322 - You're weak, Will! - You know what, Sue? 582 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:50,908 Mr. Schue, can we talk to you? It's kind of important. 583 00:31:56,039 --> 00:31:59,292 - [Grunts] - [School Bell Rings] 584 00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,877 Tell me this isn't true, Rachel. She could have died. 585 00:32:01,962 --> 00:32:04,880 I didn't send her to an active crack house. 586 00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:06,632 Besides, how did you guys find out anyways? 587 00:32:06,717 --> 00:32:08,134 The Asian community is very tight. 588 00:32:08,218 --> 00:32:10,177 I just don't get it. You're better than this. 589 00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:13,306 No. She's an ambitious little freak who will do anything to hold onto her power. 590 00:32:14,558 --> 00:32:17,393 I just- I love you guys so much. 591 00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:21,272 I was wrong before. I don't want any new members. 592 00:32:21,356 --> 00:32:25,901 I... I didn't want anyone coming in and messing up our group dynamic. 593 00:32:25,986 --> 00:32:28,738 Tina, Mike... what if Sunshine can dance? 594 00:32:28,822 --> 00:32:30,698 Then your contributions to Glee... 595 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:33,492 will be even more insignificant than they already are now. 596 00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:35,202 I did this for you guys. 597 00:32:37,748 --> 00:32:41,876 Whatever your motivations, you need to make this right, Rachel. 598 00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:45,087 [School Bell Rings] 599 00:32:49,635 --> 00:32:51,552 I'm sorry for sending you to that crack house. 600 00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:55,640 They stole my sheet music and used it for toilet paper. 601 00:32:55,724 --> 00:33:01,062 I'll buy you a new set. Just, um, come pick it up at the auditorium at 4:00 tomorrow. 602 00:33:08,904 --> 00:33:10,655 Hi. I'm Sunshine Corazon, 603 00:33:10,739 --> 00:33:13,783 and I'll be singing "Listen" from the movie Dreamgirls. 604 00:33:13,867 --> 00:33:15,826 - Broadway show first. - Shh. 605 00:33:15,911 --> 00:33:17,953 Shut up. 606 00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,667 ♪ Listen ♪ 607 00:33:22,751 --> 00:33:26,462 ♪ To the song here in my heart ♪ 608 00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:30,424 ♪ A melody I start ♪ 609 00:33:30,509 --> 00:33:35,137 ♪ But I can't complete ♪ 610 00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:37,765 ♪ Listen ♪ 611 00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:42,687 Whoo! ♪ To the sound from deep within ♪ 612 00:33:42,771 --> 00:33:45,898 ♪ It's only beginning ♪ 613 00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:49,360 ♪ To find release ♪ 614 00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:52,446 ♪ Oh, the time has come ♪ 615 00:33:52,531 --> 00:33:54,990 ♪ For my dreams to be heard ♪ 616 00:33:55,075 --> 00:34:00,454 ♪ They will not be pushed aside and turned into your own ♪ 617 00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:06,043 ♪ All 'cause you won't listen ♪ 618 00:34:06,169 --> 00:34:08,212 ♪ Listen ♪ Whoo! 619 00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:12,216 ♪ I am alone at the crossroads ♪ 620 00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:15,845 ♪ I'm not at home in my own home ♪ 621 00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:19,724 ♪ And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind ♪ 622 00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:21,809 ♪ You should have known ♪ 623 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:23,352 ♪ Oh ♪ 624 00:34:23,437 --> 00:34:27,231 ♪ Now I'm done believin' you ♪ 625 00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:29,984 ♪ You don't know what I'm feelin' ♪ 626 00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:33,529 ♪ I'm more than what you made of me ♪ 627 00:34:33,613 --> 00:34:38,242 ♪ I followed the voice you gave to me ♪ 628 00:34:38,326 --> 00:34:41,454 ♪ But now I gotta find my own ♪ 629 00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:45,124 ♪ I don't know where I belong ♪ 630 00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:49,503 ♪ But I'll be movin' on ♪ 631 00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:53,883 ♪ If you don't ♪ 632 00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:57,303 ♪ If you won't ♪ 633 00:34:57,387 --> 00:35:00,598 ♪ Listen ♪ 634 00:35:00,682 --> 00:35:04,351 ♪ To the song here in my heart ♪ 635 00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:12,693 ♪ A melody I start but I will complete ♪ 636 00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:14,528 ♪ Oh-ho ♪ 637 00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:17,740 ♪ Now I'm done believin' you ♪ 638 00:35:17,824 --> 00:35:20,367 ♪ You don't know what I'm feelin' ♪ 639 00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:24,079 ♪ I'm more than what you made of me ♪ 640 00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:28,959 ♪ I followed the voice you think you gave to me ♪ 641 00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:32,379 ♪ But now I gotta find ♪ 642 00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:35,800 ♪ My own ♪ 643 00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:42,306 ♪ My own ♪♪ 644 00:35:48,939 --> 00:35:51,774 Wow. Um... [Chuckles] 645 00:35:51,858 --> 00:35:55,236 - Welcome to the Glee Club. - [Cheering] 646 00:35:56,822 --> 00:35:58,572 Thank you. 647 00:36:02,744 --> 00:36:05,371 [School Bell Rings] Do you mind if I join you? 648 00:36:09,251 --> 00:36:10,709 Okay. 649 00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:15,422 Look, I really owe you an apology. 650 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:20,678 I-I guess I kicked this year off thinking that all of us in the Glee Club... 651 00:36:20,762 --> 00:36:24,640 weren't outcasts anymore, and I thought we'd be turning kids away. 652 00:36:24,724 --> 00:36:27,518 And then when no one signed up for the club, 653 00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:31,564 I realized that we were still at the bottom... outsiders. 654 00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:35,276 And that's how I made you feel. 655 00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:38,737 And I'm sorry. 656 00:36:40,824 --> 00:36:43,784 Thank you. [Sniffs] 657 00:36:44,494 --> 00:36:46,036 William, Beiste... 658 00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:52,501 I wanted to make a peace offering with a batch of warm, homemade cookies. 659 00:36:52,586 --> 00:36:55,796 - Oh. - Those smell like dog poop. Are those dog poop cookies? 660 00:36:55,881 --> 00:36:58,757 No. That's the flaxseed oil you're smelling. 661 00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:01,927 These are heart-healthy cookies for some of our burlier Americans. 662 00:37:02,012 --> 00:37:03,387 Sue, 663 00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:05,306 we're not gonna do this anymore. 664 00:37:06,308 --> 00:37:10,019 Are you turning on me... in public? 665 00:37:11,313 --> 00:37:13,981 The two of you are making a very serious mistake today, 666 00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,650 the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexican Indians... 667 00:37:16,735 --> 00:37:21,363 sold Manhattan to George Washington for an up-skirt photo of Betsy Ross. 668 00:37:23,658 --> 00:37:25,868 [School Bell Rings] 669 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,871 What's up? What's up, dude? 670 00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:32,750 Hey, man, why didn't you show at the audition? 671 00:37:32,834 --> 00:37:36,045 I wanted to. I did... 672 00:37:36,129 --> 00:37:38,797 But after what Coach Beiste did to you... 673 00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:40,925 Do you know how everybody talks about you Glee guys? 674 00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:42,885 Oh, yeah. You get used to all that. 675 00:37:42,969 --> 00:37:44,970 Finn, I'm... I'm the new guy. 676 00:37:45,055 --> 00:37:47,556 That means I'm already on the outside looking in. 677 00:37:47,641 --> 00:37:49,808 I don't want to start off three touchdowns behind. 678 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:52,937 I gotta go. 679 00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:56,607 Coach Beiste makes us do 100 push-ups for every minute we're late, so... 680 00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:58,943 [Chuckles] 681 00:37:59,027 --> 00:38:02,404 Yeah, you made the team. That's cool. Uh, what position? 682 00:38:02,489 --> 00:38:03,989 Quarterback. 683 00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:09,703 [Exhales] [School Bell Rings] 684 00:38:09,788 --> 00:38:11,956 Excuse me. Sunshine. Hi. 685 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,292 I'd like to officially welcome you aboard and give you our fall rehearsal schedule. 686 00:38:15,377 --> 00:38:17,419 She won't be joining your Glee Club. 687 00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:21,090 - Oh, uh, are you her dad? - Her director. 688 00:38:21,174 --> 00:38:24,802 Dustin Goolsby, new coach of Vocal Adrenaline. 689 00:38:24,886 --> 00:38:29,139 Oh, and they gave me and my mom a condo and a green card. 690 00:38:29,224 --> 00:38:30,933 How did you even find out about her? 691 00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:32,726 Hey, Will. I went ahead and made that call. 692 00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:34,353 Should have gone along with the poop cookies. 693 00:38:34,437 --> 00:38:36,689 I actually would have stayed here, but... 694 00:38:36,773 --> 00:38:39,316 I think Rachel would have made my life a living hell. 695 00:38:39,401 --> 00:38:42,194 I just didn't trust her after she sent me to a crack house. 696 00:38:42,278 --> 00:38:43,487 Not cool. 697 00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:45,864 It was nice to meet you. 698 00:38:56,793 --> 00:38:58,419 [School Bell Rings] 699 00:39:04,801 --> 00:39:06,468 What did they say? 700 00:39:06,553 --> 00:39:09,763 I talked 'em out of giving you a "code red." 701 00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:12,766 They were pissed, and they had the right to be. 702 00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,601 What you did was bad, Rachel. 703 00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:17,021 We could've used Sunshine to beat Vocal Adrenaline, 704 00:39:17,105 --> 00:39:19,815 and now they're just that much stronger. 705 00:39:19,899 --> 00:39:21,275 - Just do it already. - What? 706 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,818 Break up with me. 707 00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:25,195 We both knew it was just a matter of time. 708 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,365 I think you're forgetting I'm not the quarterback anymore. 709 00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:31,118 I'm just another Glee loser now. 710 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:34,038 Fact is you should be breaking up with me. 711 00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:39,293 I'll never break up with you. 712 00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:43,797 Me neither. 713 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,225 I did it for the team, you know. 714 00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:57,978 I just- I... I love everybody so much. 715 00:39:58,063 --> 00:40:00,355 I didn't want anyone else coming in and interfering. 716 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,900 You gotta stop saying that, Rachel. 717 00:40:02,984 --> 00:40:06,820 I care about you and everything, but you gotta admit the truth. 718 00:40:08,156 --> 00:40:09,907 You didn't do this because you love Glee Club. 719 00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:12,367 You did it because you love yourself more. 720 00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:14,787 Okay. 721 00:40:14,871 --> 00:40:17,206 I didn't want anyone else hogging my spotlight. 722 00:40:17,290 --> 00:40:20,250 Okay. I love it too much to let it go that easy. 723 00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:26,131 Do you think that they'll ever forgive me? 724 00:40:26,216 --> 00:40:27,841 They'll come around. 725 00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:31,720 I think apologizing would be a good start. 726 00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:38,310 Where you going? 727 00:40:38,394 --> 00:40:40,437 The auditorium. 728 00:40:40,522 --> 00:40:42,481 I just need some alone time first. 729 00:40:45,568 --> 00:40:50,364 ♪ Kiss today good-bye ♪ 730 00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:57,830 ♪ The sweetness and the sorrow ♪ 731 00:40:59,332 --> 00:41:00,999 ♪ Wish me luck ♪ 732 00:41:01,084 --> 00:41:08,841 ♪ The same to you ♪ 733 00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:12,803 ♪ But I can't regret ♪ 734 00:41:12,887 --> 00:41:22,563 ♪ What I did for love ♪ 735 00:41:23,565 --> 00:41:29,236 ♪ Look, my eyes are dry ♪ 736 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:35,284 ♪ The gift was ours to borrow ♪ 737 00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:46,170 ♪ It's as if we always knew ♪ 738 00:41:46,254 --> 00:41:49,047 ♪ And I won't forget ♪ 739 00:41:49,132 --> 00:41:59,016 ♪ What I did for love ♪ 740 00:41:59,100 --> 00:42:03,228 ♪ Gone ♪ 741 00:42:03,313 --> 00:42:09,693 ♪ Love is never gone ♪ 742 00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:16,366 ♪ As we travel on ♪ 743 00:42:16,451 --> 00:42:22,748 ♪ Love's what we'll remember ♪ 744 00:42:22,832 --> 00:42:28,921 ♪ Kiss today good-bye ♪ 745 00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:35,052 ♪ And point me toward tomorrow ♪ 746 00:42:35,136 --> 00:42:38,639 ♪ We did what we had ♪ 747 00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:43,393 ♪ To do ♪ 748 00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:45,562 ♪ Whoa ♪ 749 00:42:45,647 --> 00:42:48,899 ♪ Won't forget Can't regret ♪ 750 00:42:48,983 --> 00:43:02,412 ♪ What I did for love ♪ 751 00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:07,668 ♪ What I did for ♪ 752 00:43:08,294 --> 00:43:16,009 ♪ Love ♪♪ 753 00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:26,103 ♪♪ [Vocalizing] 754 00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:31,858 ♪♪ [Harmonic Vocalizing] 755 00:43:47,292 --> 00:43:49,167 ♪♪ [Ends] 756 00:43:58,052 --> 00:43:59,052 ENGLISH - US - PSDH